geneboy73 Posted May 12, 2007 Share Posted May 12, 2007 What do you think about this? During a trial sep (a.k.a. "a break") is it cool to test the waters? In my case, I think my wife has been hanging out with guy friends from work without me there for a few months now. Is it right for me to begin this even though we have not made a decision yet? There are other things I can do, like go to the gym, hang with pals/family, work harder. So is it right to do the online dating thing like NOW? I need your thoughts people... Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 12, 2007 Share Posted May 12, 2007 I read your thread, and you've had it rough a lifeless and sexless marriage? Why are you still there? I'd tell her that once I'm out I will be seeing other people with no intention on coming back home, just to let her know up front. I would be slaying chicks left and right, but letting the other women know that me and my wife have split up and I have no intention on returning. I would understand that you would be leary of dating a married man but I understand if you dont. Get the seperation letter's in writing and be honest as much as you can. Now that your free to be you, you can do whatever you want. It's time she took a long look within herself to see what she is messing up. But I bet once your out that door, all those emotions are gonna hit you, your gonna enjoy your single life, and your not gonna want to come back weighing the pros and cons of your marriage. Go ahead and live your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 12, 2007 Share Posted May 12, 2007 I don't know your history but if you're honest with all parties, wife and potentials, there's no reason not to. I would recommend that you not get into anything serious until you get your feet firmly underneath you. You do not want to bring baggage or unresolved issues, into your next relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted May 12, 2007 Share Posted May 12, 2007 Hard to say... I'm in the 4th month of a separation ... my wife just moved out without warning. She still wants a divorce and things don't look to be headed any other way. I'm just starting to consider other ... options. Not forcing it but if something comes along I'll check it out. But I'll be sure not to get into anything serious and will state that up front to anyone I might end up seeing. There's no way I could get into a big thing while still dealing with some of the emotional fallout yet. Not fair to myself or any potential girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted May 12, 2007 Share Posted May 12, 2007 I have read your thread.. but I don't know you.. It really is up to you.. because you know you best.. Where your head and heart is at. I for one could not even look at another woman.. for months after I moved out. Its been over a year for me... since this all began... and I have been moved out since the end of August 06. I just recently started seeing someone... "casually".. and that has... been .. well last week. I still feel at times a little strange... and I know I still have feelings for my wife. But.. as I have stated so....many....times... That is out of my hands... and I have come to terms with that.... I control me and my actions only. I really think it is a mistake to date... so soon... but.. then again.. I have been through this before... and remember.. how screwed up .. and needy I was.... That is why... and due to a lot of reading on the subject... and venting on here.. ALSO.. seeing people I know rush into things so shortly after a separation... Steered me away.. from (someone). Make sure your sh*t is together... that you do NOT need anyone... and then maybe... go dip your tow back in the sea.. That's my 2 cents... ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 12, 2007 Share Posted May 12, 2007 Make sure your sh*t is together... that you do NOT need anyone... Exactly. Needing is not good for anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted May 12, 2007 Share Posted May 12, 2007 Exactly. Needing is not good for anyone. I like you your smart..... Unfortunately... we are all fed the the line of needing others.. throughout popular culture...music etc. I feels good not to need.. make the want more satisfying... ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 12, 2007 Share Posted May 12, 2007 I like you your smart..... Unfortunately... we are all fed the the line of needing others.. throughout popular culture...music etc. I feels good not to need.. make the want more satisfying... ilmw Back atcha' babe... Agreed. You have to stand as an individual but want to contribute your part into a relationship because you care. Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted May 12, 2007 Share Posted May 12, 2007 Back atcha' babe... Agreed. You have to stand as an individual but want to contribute your part into a relationship because you care. AGREED!~ 100% babe..eh? .. Link to post Share on other sites
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