Second chance

[OLP]

My husband and I have been having problems for a little over a year. It's mostly based on getting too comfortable in our marriage. He stopped paying attention to me and put himself before me and our son. I distanced myself for 3 months before we both agreed I should move out. I had no intention of getting divorced, but my husband was so distraught at the idea of us falling apart that he got a little crazy for a few months. Which pushed me away even farther. This man was a man that I was crazy in love with yet for 5 months of distance and separation I shed barely 10minutes of tears. We verbally hurt each other. To an extreme. We finally in the last 1 1/2 months been getting along decent. We've been trying for the sake of our son. We both said the other night that we would go back if we could but we feel we could not get past the hurt or trust one another again. We feel it wouldn't work. But what if it could. I am having second doubts. We just got our papers and they haven't been filed yet. Has anyone been able to get past all the hurt and fall in love all over again? I don't think I have stopped loving him. I miss him and don't think I can go through the divorce. Any thoughts?

[amaysngrace]

I think you two should try marriage counseling. If there is love and you both want the marriage to work, then you need to put the past behind you and start today. Don't use names or secrets you've shared while fighting. That's one of the lowest forms of disrespect in a relationship IMO.

 

You both need to let past hurts go. You've both hurt each other verbally. It's not nice and it's not fair. It is just an immature way of expressing your own pain, trying to hurt the other person in that manner. You are both guilty of that, right? Then you both need to let it go. All of it. All the negative you've said to each other. You probably didn't mean it, but were each trying to get a reaction so you said the nastiest things imaginable.

 

You both need to apologize to the other, express your feelings and allow the other one to do the same, show enough respect for one another to hear the other out, talk about things nicely and calmly with each other, and then finally forgive one another.

 

You should both make a list of the ways you respect each other. Leave nothing out. Share it with one another. You can both start with:

 

1. Is a good parent to our son because they're willing to do whatever it takes to raise him in a happy, loving home and to fix whatever's broken in their marriage.

 

 

 

PS HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

[Teeky3]

I sense that you really do love this man...and you want your family, so give it a try....give it 100% of everything you have.

 

The lesson here is ... never give more than you are willing to lose cause sometimes we do lose.

 

Good luck.

[InvisibleTouch]

Perhaps the problems you are experiencing are born out of the cycle of change that inevitably happens with all relationships.

 

Nothing is ever constant, alway dynamic, always changing and evolving. Keeping abreast of those changes and embracing them will determine whether you succeed or fail. Marriage (I assume) will be governed by the same laws.

 

Therefore, acknowledge that what initially drove you two together will inevitably loose some of its value and appeal over a period of time. The important thing may be to identify new aspects of what you are both about now in order to replace those that have lost their appeal.

 

Relationship counselling will help you both identify these things and introduce them into your relationship in a healthy and rewarding way.

 

In a bizzare sort of way this phase, although difficult could well be the most enlightening and rewarding thing to happen to you both.

[krzr]

imo

 

you dont need a someone to tell you that u love someone or that u need to work on it.

 

communication is the KEY

 

tell him how u feel and that you love him and your kid and you want to try 100 percent to work this out and be a happy family and not bitter exes that have a kid together.