Trying to understand,cb

[Guest]

To make a long story short:

 

Husband and I have been married ten years. We separated about 9 months ago. He is living with his parents with his children, while I live at my(our) home with my kids. Financiallyy I am supporting me and my children by myself. (my children are not his) After we separated, I struggled emotionally, I still loved him and wanted to work things out. But he was not interested and pretty content with how he was living. In January things took the turn in my favor and we began dating and hanging out. It even got to the point were he was staying almost every night. I never stopped loving him and still hope things will work out, but the problem is that:

 

He has me confused. When he stays the night, he does not call his mother and let her know he is not coming home, does not check in on his kids, after a few days of that he then decides to go back to his mothers and treat me the same way. Meaning, he does not call and let me know what to expect from him. Am I wrong to even expect that from him. Because overall we are separated. I am so unsure of what I am suppose to do or say. I just feel myself getting more angry with him. I want to be a family but gosh I dont know if I can do it anymore. Honestly, when it comes to our kids he does not play a positive role in any of their lives, I hate it. That was one our biggest problem when we living in the same house. I felt like I was doing all the work while he had all the pleasure. We would argue alot because of it to the point I asked him to leave. Ever since I regretted it. Now that time has pasted I have realized I never wanted him to leave I just wanted him to appreciate me, but even living in different homes I do not feel he appreciates me at all.

 

Well its been two days know since I last seen him and I am missing him like crazy. But I feel I have to stand up and take a stand and make him do some work in this relationship. The only thing is "it feels like a waiting game." I did call him today but a huge part of me felt like he should of called me. When I called it seemed as though he was busy, he was pretty quite, so I let him go. Have not heard or seen him. It makes me wonder how this man can say he loves me. I do not want to be the booty call whenever, or the place to go to get away from responsibilities. We are married and to me we should be living our lives together ever day. Not 5 days out of the week. Its tuff... Its like I know what I should do but just dont do it. I guess I am holding on and believeing in good things come to those who wait. But is that even worth it.