brianp Posted May 13, 2007 Share Posted May 13, 2007 Want to keep this short, not in the mood to do anything at the moment. Me and my girlfriend have had a rocky past couple of months, she has had problems going out and had problems with me seeing my friends and has got so upset about it at times suicide has been brought up.. not good. I love her and have helped her through this, cutting myself off from my friends for her. She has been to the doctors, got a counsellor and things were looking on the up. Last night, with my encouragement, she went out in town with her friends and ended up talking to some bloke. They exchanged numbers and kissed at the end of the night. She told me this after it happened. Today she is absolutely gutted that im finishing it between us, and now i feel guilty for it like im at fault. What do I do? Id feel an idiot for taking her back after whats happened, I feel so let down after all my efforts. I do want to be with her but now my family hate her because of it.. I cant see it working but want it to.. DIFFICULT Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted May 13, 2007 Share Posted May 13, 2007 If you can't see it working, then the best thing to do is to end it now. Otherwise, more 'issues' will come up, more hurts will pile up, and then you'd have to end it later anyway. If you have to cut yourself off from your friends in order to please your gf, this is not a relationship that will last. If she has to flirt and kiss other guys for whatever reason, this is not a relationship that will last. If you have to put in so much effort, so much work, it's not a relationship that's worth it. It shouldn't be that hard. Link to post Share on other sites
kittensmittens Posted May 13, 2007 Share Posted May 13, 2007 She obviously has some things she needs to work through that in no way have anything to do with you, and you should not be held accountable. In all honesty, she sounds insecure as well as dangerously manipulative in order to get her unhealthy needs met. I know that in the past when I did hurtful things, the only time I was able to objectively think about my actions was when I was (painfully) suffering the consequences. In other words, when I was dumped. You obviously have a lot of conflicting feelings you need to sort through too. It sounds to me that you two need some breathing room at the very least. I would say start there and see how you feel after some time apart.....if you still want her and think it could work or still don't think it will work. But ultimately you have to do what's best for YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
kepners Posted May 13, 2007 Share Posted May 13, 2007 mate you tell that bird to 0121 DO ONE!!! if she cared about you... she wouldnt have done it... i mean she basically got horny cuz of this guy spinning her lines... and she wanted it... i mean its not like she even just swapped numbers... i mean she necked him... and YOU DONT KNOW HOW MUCH NECKING THERE WAS!!! i mean there is alot of necking which in my experience women FAIL to tell you about them touching each other... and it lasting longer than one 10second snog!!! dont you dare start blaming yourself!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Claudia Elysa Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Love urself a little more she sounds like a manipulator......you can do better and No it is not ur fault Want to keep this short, not in the mood to do anything at the moment. Me and my girlfriend have had a rocky past couple of months, she has had problems going out and had problems with me seeing my friends and has got so upset about it at times suicide has been brought up.. not good. I love her and have helped her through this, cutting myself off from my friends for her. She has been to the doctors, got a counsellor and things were looking on the up. Last night, with my encouragement, she went out in town with her friends and ended up talking to some bloke. They exchanged numbers and kissed at the end of the night. She told me this after it happened. Today she is absolutely gutted that im finishing it between us, and now i feel guilty for it like im at fault. What do I do? Id feel an idiot for taking her back after whats happened, I feel so let down after all my efforts. I do want to be with her but now my family hate her because of it.. I cant see it working but want it to.. DIFFICULT Link to post Share on other sites
Author brianp Posted May 14, 2007 Author Share Posted May 14, 2007 she said she took some of her sisters prescribed pills for anxiety and stress before she went out, and combined with drink it made her feel like she didnt care about anything. She is so sorry now and says she cant be without me. I know it was a mistake but I feel like I cant be without her, I get panicky when im apart just incase hes texting. If I did end it I know id go back to her Link to post Share on other sites
hardcase Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Want to keep this short, not in the mood to do anything at the moment. Me and my girlfriend have had a rocky past couple of months, she has had problems going out and had problems with me seeing my friends and has got so upset about it at times suicide has been brought up.. not good. She is upset with you going out because she thinks you will do what she really wants to do .....cheat. Last night, with my encouragement, she went out in town with her friends and ended up talking to some bloke. They exchanged numbers and kissed at the end of the night. She told me this after it happened. So you were an understanding boyfriend...encouraged her to go out and have fun. What she should have done is had fun with her friends..and realized.."damn I have a good man that doesn't mind me going out like this" and then come home and give you the loving of your life. But did she do that? No...she took advantage and took the opportunity to mess around with someone else. I don't care if it just was kiss...what do you think the exchanging of phone numbers was? Ya ya ya....yadda yadda yadda...she told you about it....so what? Today she is absolutely gutted that im finishing it between us, and now i feel guilty for it like im at fault. First off she should feel "gutted" and upset that you might end it. She shouldn't blame you for that at all. And no, this isn't your fault. For God's sake...you were being a VERY understanding man and encouraged her to have fun...relieve some stress. And what did you get in return for it? What do I do? You dump her. Id feel an idiot for taking her back after whats happened, I feel so let down after all my efforts. Don't feel like an idiot. Emotions pretty much rule you after finding out about cheating in the early stages. And yes, you were let down. You were showing her what a great guy she has, and she showed you what a lousy cheat she is. I do want to be with her but now my family hate her because of it.. I cant see it working but want it to.. DIFFICULT I know its difficult. But here is your situation. 1) I take it you are young. 2) You are not married to her 3) You don't have kids with her So the way I see it, it actually should be quite easy. Kick her to the curb. You are young and unattached...you don't need this in your life. Find someone who will be faithful to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 If it wasn't bad enough she has manipulated you in dumping your friends, she makes YOU feel guilty for wanting to end it after SHE cheats? Take your rose-colored glasses off honey and dump this idiot. She is not worthy of your time. Link to post Share on other sites
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