lonelybird Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 probably you will not like what I say here... You put too much energy on him right now, wayyy too imbalance. maybe he is trying to achieve his balance after sex? His very words can send you to heaven or hell, I think you *hate* this. He has more power over your emotion now. Even he is genuin gentlemen, he is human who are capable of making mistakes and failing Try not to think of him too much Relax: maybe lead to good things Sweat too much: almost 100% fail Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 For crying out loud, Tanbark, call the girl!! Can't you tell she's suffering? Stop messing with her. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 For crying out loud, Tanbark, call the girl!! Can't you tell she's suffering? Stop messing with her. I don't want to seem too anxious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted May 15, 2007 Author Share Posted May 15, 2007 For crying out loud, Tanbark, call the girl!! Can't you tell she's suffering? Stop messing with her. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted May 15, 2007 Author Share Posted May 15, 2007 You put too much energy on him right now, wayyy too imbalance. maybe he is trying to achieve his balance after sex? This could very well be true. I'm still perplexed by the irony that HE was the one with all the energy initially...we've switched places. And still no call/text. Link to post Share on other sites
Teddy and Jane Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 I'm sorry. Does he have feelings for an ex possibly? I don't know why he would do this, it doesn't make sense. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 He will call. Just give him time to do it. In the meantime, think about how attached you've gotten to be, and try to back your feelings down a bit. You don't really know this guy yet, and you're pinning a lot of hopes on him. He could be as great as you think he is, or he could be something else completely. If he's great, then he'll call and he'll give you another long sweaty night of gasping pleasure. If he's not great, then you know you're better off knowing now. Just let him be what he is, and you'll find out soon enough. You can take care of yourself either way. You probably make more money than he does anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Teddy and Jane Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 Hmm. I don't know about that. The times I have been in relationships that lasted at least a year or longer, the guy was really going for it full force and didn't hide afterwards. Why would there be a need to "back off" after you've been intimate with the woman you like? A guy who is really into the woman is going to be wondering "when can I see this wonderful person again?" and call. At least that has been my experience. The guys where it went nowhere quickly acted like this guy did. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 Why would there be a need to "back off" after you've been intimate with the woman you like? cause coming off as "cool" and not desperate is of utmost importance for the dude... Link to post Share on other sites
che_jesse Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 Maybe hes just not a morning person? My husband spent some short amount of time with his feelings hurt because I was being "mean" and I "didnt love him as much", really it was him seeing my grumpy attitude in the morning that I always have. Either that or yeah you gave it up to soon. Link to post Share on other sites
fray718 Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 honestly, and im not saying this just to make you feel better, one month is not too soon and i do think this guy is into you and he's just playing it cool. The key thing for now is for you to not initiate anymore contact with him and let him chase you. I think you are in for a great relationship really soon. Has he called you yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 What does "play it cool" mean? Easy: contine to be the hot sexy fun smart woman the month leading to last Saturday night. Because really, that is who you are, and no matter of freaking out about what happened now changes that. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 I'm with Kamille, although I still think he has or will contact you. No guy does the sweet and thoughtful things he did for you the morning after and then runs away forever. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 I imagine Star is not responding right now, because she's being ravished by Mr. Sweet Guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted May 16, 2007 Author Share Posted May 16, 2007 He hasn't called. Effer. He has only responded to my texts that were lammmmmeeeeeee. A couple friends thought that he might have been put off by the fact that I hadn't invited him to my birthday soiree this week. He had mentioned the fact that my birthday was coming up 2 or 3 times, almost in a hinting voice, and I always said something like "I know, I'm getting so old!" He'd say in a sort of curious tone, "Soooo, what are ya gonna doooo??" and I told him - "Girls' night - dancing and fun, fun, fun! No boys allowed!" I said this because I knew he couldn't be there because of his work obligations...and I don't want any guy there except him, so what's the point in having others there? But my friends thought he might have been a little hurt that the girl he's dating and just slept with didn't invite him to her bday shin dig. Sooo, I sent him a text today telling him that I knew he had work commitments but if they fell through I'd love to have him there. He immediately sent back a nice reply, but it still wasn't filled with the romance of all his previous messages....it was really more polite than anything. Another friend has me convinced that this guy is a player. I just don't think that's the case. I really don't, but of course I could be very wrong. Regardless, I think I needed to hear everything y'all had to say. I REALLY like this guy, more than I should, and I'm wrapping waaaaaaaaay too much of my emotions up in him. Tonight I went to an awesome happy hour and have awesome plans for celebrating my birthday this week... I'm really, really hoping that my crazy focus on this guy doesn't prevent me from having a faboulous birthday. But I still wish he'd call. I don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 I'm sorry to hear this. I had high hopes for you two because he was so sweet the morning after. Time to sit back and let him do the chasing. No more text messages, calls or emails. Let him take the initiative. Link to post Share on other sites
fray718 Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 He hasn't called. Effer. He has only responded to my texts that were lammmmmeeeeeee. A couple friends thought that he might have been put off by the fact that I hadn't invited him to my birthday soiree this week. He had mentioned the fact that my birthday was coming up 2 or 3 times, almost in a hinting voice, and I always said something like "I know, I'm getting so old!" He'd say in a sort of curious tone, "Soooo, what are ya gonna doooo??" and I told him - "Girls' night - dancing and fun, fun, fun! No boys allowed!" I said this because I knew he couldn't be there because of his work obligations...and I don't want any guy there except him, so what's the point in having others there? But my friends thought he might have been a little hurt that the girl he's dating and just slept with didn't invite him to her bday shin dig. Sooo, I sent him a text today telling him that I knew he had work commitments but if they fell through I'd love to have him there. He immediately sent back a nice reply, but it still wasn't filled with the romance of all his previous messages....it was really more polite than anything. Another friend has me convinced that this guy is a player. I just don't think that's the case. I really don't, but of course I could be very wrong. Regardless, I think I needed to hear everything y'all had to say. I REALLY like this guy, more than I should, and I'm wrapping waaaaaaaaay too much of my emotions up in him. Tonight I went to an awesome happy hour and have awesome plans for celebrating my birthday this week... I'm really, really hoping that my crazy focus on this guy doesn't prevent me from having a faboulous birthday. But I still wish he'd call. I don't know what to do. I think ya gotta stop txting him or you'll push him away. Just stop for now. It's only been a few days since saturday so i think right now just give him some space and make him miss you. Give him AT LEAST until next tuesday to call or text you back with HIM being the initiator of it (as opposed to a response to ur texts). So NO INITIATING CONTACT! Link to post Share on other sites
Krytellan Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 I can assure that whatever's going on, it has nothing to do with you not inviting him to your soiree. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 I'm sorry to hear this. I had high hopes for you two because he was so sweet the morning after. Time to sit back and let him do the chasing. No more text messages, calls or emails. Let him take the initiative. Agreed. You've gotten all the signals you need. Time to leave it alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted May 16, 2007 Author Share Posted May 16, 2007 I think ya gotta stop txting him or you'll push him away. Just stop for now. It's only been a few days since saturday so i think right now just give him some space and make him miss you. Give him AT LEAST until next tuesday to call or text you back with HIM being the initiator of it (as opposed to a response to ur texts). So NO INITIATING CONTACT! Today is Tuesday. So you're saying a week? Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 Right now what you do know about this guy isn't much. I know you like him but there are a lot of others out there. Do not lose sight of the fact that it is much more difficult for them than it is for us. It is much more difficult to find an attractive, intelligent, caring girl than it is to find a guy who up to now may have just been putting on a facade. He may have been really charming up until now because he's good at that part. Maybe when he gets deeper he gets weird and that is what you are seeing -- hence him being single. Don't make it your problem. Don't get lost in the drama. If he doesn't realize what a gem he's got in you then he is too much of an idiot for you to waste your time or any amount of thought on. You should be examining his actions and evaluating his worthiness of you not turning the microscope on yourself and finding fault within. Why do women find it so easy to beat themselves up because of the actions or inaction of the man? Some of them are damaged, some of them are really good at the beginning and then fall flat when it comes to being in a relationship. Some of them get so clingy and desperate it just makes your skin crawl. ALL of which is not the girl's fault in any way. If he has issues be glad you found out now. If he doesn't, he'll call and everything will be fine. Either way it goes do not turn this all around to make it all about you. Should you be treated better than you are being treated right now? Then he gets a chalk mark on the jerk side of the board and get skeptical about your initial impression of him. You are fantastic and he if he doesn't get it then the quest continues for the one that does. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted May 16, 2007 Author Share Posted May 16, 2007 I can assure that whatever's going on, it has nothing to do with you not inviting him to your soiree. I honestly think it's not just ONE thing, ya know? I think there's tons of stuff going on... I guess I was just trying to cover all of my bases to make sure I hadn't done anything wrong. I won't contact him again... but I am really, really sad about this again. I was doing okay until I came back here to post... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Star Gazer Posted May 16, 2007 Author Share Posted May 16, 2007 BTW guys, I just remembered that this is the guy who said that bitter and angry stuff before about women/his ex's. Remember that thread? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t118002/ Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 BTW guys, I just remembered that this is the guy who said that bitter and angry stuff before about women/his ex's. Remember that thread? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t118002/ I don't think I understand. The guy you are dating is the guy that posted to your thread --- ? Link to post Share on other sites
Starry-eyed Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 Sorry that happened to you, Star Gazer. It's a sucky feeling. It's scary to like someone so much and to think that after one night, things have changed. But a month doesn't seem like too short of a time to wait. I agree with everyone's advice saying not to contact him, no matter how strong the urge. It's hard to do, but in the long run you'll be glad (hopefully) because you'll either know that he contacted you on his own because he wanted to, or that it's over and you didn't act desperate. It certainly seems like this dude's loss! Anyway, just some moral support to you that the feelings you're having are hard to bear. Link to post Share on other sites
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