dbtmarley Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Where do I begin? About four years ago I got a divorce from my wife of close to 10 years. One of the things I soon figured out after the divorce is that I really was married to a total stranger. The pain was incredible and I decided I would not get myself in a committed relationship again (what a lie). I met a beautiful woman who is 10 years my junior. I am 38 years old. At first I even went the route of being friends, but we fell in love. She is fantastic. I cannot think of one area I would want her to change. When she looks me in my eyes it... it just softens my heart. She is my best friend.... and I mean this in every sense of the word. What is the problem? It is me!! A month ago she moved in and all her belongings of course came with her. One night we were looking through a year book from her high school years and some love letters from an old boy friend fell out. This boy friend was from about 3 years ago and he was writing them from prison. Here is the thing... She told me of him and how he always said he would come back for her when he got out. What she did not tell me was that she promised she would be there no matter what. She tells me she is over him. I worry constantly.. Why?!?! Why am I obsessing over this guy!!! This woman wants to marry me!!!!! She is pregnant with my baby.... She practically gives me everything.... love, trust, companionship! When she first met me I was having severe health problems.... I was so afraid I told her that I just wanted to be friends because we did not know if I would make it. She became a friend who would not leave my side. This woman had to call an ambulance for me on our second date!! She has showed me in more ways than one that she loves me dearly! This is how I repay her! Please help before my obsession causes the woman I love to not look at me with loving eyes! ~Tom Link to post Share on other sites
Bree Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 I think your just afraid of losing the one thing that is more important to you than anything else in the world. Yes, that is very sweet and romantic, but lets look at the reality of things. Your worried about something that you can't prevent from happening if it happens, and if this women is "the One" for you and as wonderful as you say, then you have nothing to worry about. My advise is let it go, enjoy what you have right now because if it's truly meant to be, then your just bringing problems into your relationship that shouldn't even be there. Link to post Share on other sites
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 Where do I begin? About four years ago I got a divorce from my wife of close to 10 years. One of the things I soon figured out after the divorce is that I really was married to a total stranger. The pain was incredible and I decided I would not get myself in a committed relationship again (what a lie). I met a beautiful woman who is 10 years my junior. I am 38 years old. At first I even went the route of being friends, but we fell in love. She is fantastic. I cannot think of one area I would want her to change. When she looks me in my eyes it... it just softens my heart. She is my best friend.... and I mean this in every sense of the word. What is the problem? It is me!! A month ago she moved in and all her belongings of course came with her. One night we were looking through a year book from her high school years and some love letters from an old boy friend fell out. This boy friend was from about 3 years ago and he was writing them from prison. Here is the thing... She told me of him and how he always said he would come back for her when he got out. What she did not tell me was that she promised she would be there no matter what. She tells me she is over him. I worry constantly.. Why?!?! Why am I obsessing over this guy!!! This woman wants to marry me!!!!! She is pregnant with my baby.... She practically gives me everything.... love, trust, companionship! When she first met me I was having severe health problems.... I was so afraid I told her that I just wanted to be friends because we did not know if I would make it. She became a friend who would not leave my side. This woman had to call an ambulance for me on our second date!! She has showed me in more ways than one that she loves me dearly! This is how I repay her! Please help before my obsession causes the woman I love to not look at me with loving eyes! ~Tom Tom, are you concerned that the same is going to happen if you marry the woman you love? That you will wake up one day and feel like you really know her? Everyone has a past. Those words were written in a different mindset when your girl hadn't met you, when you didnt even exist in her world. Now she has, what matters is the here and now. It may play upon your girls mind that you have once said the same vows that you will be taking with her...but there's no point in making an issue out of that. She is with you, she wants to marry you, she is having your baby, she is sharing a house with you. Let her love you, and return the favour by loving her back and letting go of her past. It's hers, not yours. Ambulance on a second date? I've had some dates in my time but I never had to call an ambulance! Link to post Share on other sites
annabelle75 Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 I think your just afraid of losing the one thing that is more important to you than anything else in the world. Yes, that is very sweet and romantic, but lets look at the reality of things. Your worried about something that you can't prevent from happening if it happens, and if this women is "the One" for you and as wonderful as you say, then you have nothing to worry about. My advise is let it go, enjoy what you have right now because if it's truly meant to be, then your just bringing problems into your relationship that shouldn't even be there. this is exactly what i would have posted Link to post Share on other sites
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