River Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 I am a little confused about my relationship I have with this guy. He works alot of hours and we have been seeing each other off and on for the past 8 years. More or less we are friends with benefits for the past 8 years. I am now wanting more. Should I ask him point blank if he would like it to be more or let it go and let it be what it has been for the past 8 years? Or move on to dating someone that would like more with me? Link to post Share on other sites
Topper Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 Eight years and your just now having a talk about what you want out of this realationship! Most woman have that "talk" within 8 weeks! Your still living apart and just see each other for sex? Your every mans dream girl;) Link to post Share on other sites
che_jesse Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 I started my relationship with the man that is now my husband and the love of my life as a friends with benefits arrangement. Speaking only from my own personal experience I would say to just leave it what it is and find someone else. In my case we never sat down and talked about what we want out of this, it evolved slowly and naturally over the course of two years. We would look around one day and found that we had moved to the next level all on our own without ever planning or forcing it. Personally I think that is how most happy relationships develop, without being forced, and I think that if you and this guy are still at square 1 after eight years nothing much is really going to happen between the two of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author River Posted May 16, 2007 Author Share Posted May 16, 2007 I started my relationship with the man that is now my husband and the love of my life as a friends with benefits arrangement. Speaking only from my own personal experience I would say to just leave it what it is and find someone else. In my case we never sat down and talked about what we want out of this, it evolved slowly and naturally over the course of two years. We would look around one day and found that we had moved to the next level all on our own without ever planning or forcing it. Personally I think that is how most happy relationships develop, without being forced, and I think that if you and this guy are still at square 1 after eight years nothing much is really going to happen between the two of you. Thank you! I just wanted to see what you stated is what I have been believing all along. Knowing that it will never develop to something more because he never moved that direction with it. Link to post Share on other sites
miniature giraffe Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 river - have u ever read that book "he's just not that into you"? i read it and it changed my life! obviously i don't know you or your situation, but i can kind of relate (not to the 8 years bit though!). i think like topper said, a FWB over such a significant period of time IS any man's dream as he's literally having his cake and eating it too. are you guys exclusive? i daresay (and correct me if i'm wrong) that if he was into you for more than just your current setup, he would've made some kind of move towards this. the fact that he's not really made any moves towards anything more serious suggests to me he's happy with things as they are. you could always try and bring your feelings up with him, but my guess is that he won't want to change the dynamic after this period of time. i think you need a fresh start with someone who is willing and able to give you everything you want and deserve. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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