Is this a good step forward in getting back?

[lonelylissa]

He has been texting me for the last week saying things like "I miss you so much, nothings the same without you, I'm a mess without you, I'm resorting to pills so I can sleep but I cannot stop thinking about you, I love you so much still" - I finally drew the line. I called him yesterday and drew the line. I said it wasn't fair for him to string me along... I love him and want to work things out but there is something that HE needs to work on... I was afraid that he would just get up and leave. He said in the case the he doesn't realize what he has until it's gone... can I come by and say goodbye properly? I let him...

 

My ex and I finally had a 'proper goodbye' last night. He had been holding back on our conversations for a long time. Didn't really tell me what was going on and I just didn't understand why someone who claims to love and miss me so much just couldn't be with me. He said (and he started to cry - which I have NEVER seen him done. Even with our pass big fights that we thought may have been it) that he feels really guilty because he chose a career path that takes a lot of him. And that all he wants is to be able to support me in future like I deserve to be. He would feel like a loser, failure, useless if he weren't to give this 100% for the next few years. Let me say that he is a musician. He's been in known touring bands and he's made it quite far. But of course projects come and go and he's in a slump right now. Everything is moving really slow and nothing is developing when he really wants it to. He told me that if his guilt wasn't there we would be together again in no time.

 

He then asked me an odd question. He asked if we could somehow be 'single' but still be exclusive to one another. He said he needed to be free so he doesn't feel tide down and restricted from building his career however, can we be exclusive in the sense that we are not looking for other people. He made a pack that we will go on a couple monthly dates and that we would both try really hard to rebuild our communication. He wants me to go to his nephews 5th birthday party and all the plans that we still had for the summer.

 

He made it very clear that his intentions were to have this more distant open relationship was so at the end of this 'break' period he believed we would get back together.

 

I told him again, words are just words and they don't mean anything until the actions are made. He said he knows that he hurt me every time he would tell me he misses me and he loves me. He said right now, I can be skeptical and if I needed or wanted to... to move on. But he's going to keep his word and still try to build our communication and do our monthly dates again.

 

So men: When your career stresses you out a lot, is this a reason to push the love of your life away?

 

I really want to believe him, but i'm stepping into this with precaution. Like - I take what he says with a grain of salt and until he does something big then i'll consider the fact that we're working on this.