Am I living a dream? or are women just out to get me.

[CL55]

What I am about to explain may give some of you readers a few laughs, and others will most likely raise their eye-brow.

 

To jump right into this post -- I just recently got out of a 1 1/2 relationship with my ex. Unlike my ex-girlfriend. prior to the aforementioned ex-girlfriend, there was no falling-out, no depression, no tears. I was ready to jump right back into a relationship with no hesitation... Or so I thought that insane idea could possibly work out...

 

When the clock stuck 12 midnight on the New Year, I had come to terms with the fact that the girl who was once a huge part of my life was now gone. Standing tall and wearing a suit that would even make James Bond envious, I spent most of my evening pissing away my sorrows on straight shots of Level while chasing it down with bitter cold Heinekens. The New Year's event that I attended was very upscale and consisted mostly of couples. I can remember feeling anxious and overwhelmed by the black and white ball I ended up attending with my parents. I couldn't take my mind off my ex for a split second... The chain of event which began to take place from that evening up until this present day has forever changed my personality and demeanor with the opposite sex. Earlier on that evening before the party kicked off, I found myself in a lounge adjacent the hall where the party was being held. The lounge consisted off all female servers, but once again, I was pissing away my sorrows of my break-up over shots of Vodka and imported beer. I had caught one of the female servers checking me out on several occasions. 15 minutes prior to midnight, I found myself back inside of the lounge again. At this time the girl who had been checking me out earlier had approached me and told me " you look sad. cheer up!! it's new years!!". At that point, I immediately got a refill and chugged it down thinking "oh great, now the whole ****ing world knows I am unhappy". I soon relocated back to the ballroom to watch all of the couples dance and mingle along with my parents who sat at a table pretending to still be in love. 45 minutes after the clock struck 12, the same girl who had been checking me out and had made the comment to me had appeared at the party. At that point, I had consumed enough alcohol to let my guard down and approach this girl who had dropped the comments on me earlier. The introduction went well, and we basically chatted for the rest of the night in which we finally exchanged numbers. She had informed me that she also just got out of a long-term relationship and more or less was wanting to get back to dating once again. We seemed to make the appropriate amount of eye-contact and share the same level of intellect. By the end of the night I left feeling reassured and confident. I felt confident in myself and in my actions in lieu of the fact that I went from feeling as if I were falling off the edge of the world to feeling as if I were on top of it. The next day I woke up thinking about the new girl I had just met. My ex-girlfriend was was a distant second on my mind at that time as I was ready to leave her in the past and attempt to build a future with someone else. New Year's Day marked another formal event this time being a dinner in lieu of my father's birthday falling on New Year's day. Later on that evening while at dinner she had called me. We chatted for a few minutes about the events of the night before. We both concluded that overall we both had a good time no matter how short-lived it was. I had told her that I was out to dinner at that moment for my father's birthday. Coincidentally,the restaurant we had all went to was within close proximity to her home. I invited her to stop by whether it be to join the dinner, have a drink, or simply have a conversation. She had agreed almost instantly, however, she did not want to come inside because "she didn't feel she looked presentable to join us at our table". 20 minutes later I get a call and she is outside awaiting me. I get inside of her car where we begin to make small talk. The conversation was very loose and informal (the type of small-talk you would have with someone while awaiting your flight, train, or bus). She told me that she had just stopped by to see me for a few minutes because she had to pick up her younger brother from a football game. Without hesitation or attempts at making more small-talk, I told her we would catch up later. We had talked once again later that evening via telephone. The conversation lasted about 45 minutes and was basically us two exchanging bits and pieces of information about ourselves. After our phone conversation had ended, I sat down and evaluated both her, myself, and the situation. I had felt confident that this girl who I met on one of the most stressful days of my life could now potentially be apart of it. A little less than a week had passed and I had called her to see what she was doing. She had told me that she had a quick errand to run, but aside from that she had no other plans. Traditionally, breakfast, lunch, dinner, a walk is what average people choose as a method of getting to know one another. Me.... I must be from another ****ing planet because I invited her to join me at the gym. I had been going to the gym 4-5 times a week at that time. I even told her it was an odd place to meet-up, however, seeing as she had mentioned she had been putting in long hours and could use some R&R. I had thought that the gym would be a good solution to relieve any work related stress. She did not sound displeased with the idea and had agreed to go with me. She had told me to call her at 4pm sharp later that day. I called her a little after 4pm so as to not appear needy or pushy, but I received no answer. I tried a second time 30 minutes later with no success. At that point I realized two things A: she ditched me or B: something drastic had occurred and she had to cancel without further notice. I went on to wait 1 week awaiting her call which never came. I finally got the pictures... I finally decided to leave her a v-mail expressing my disbelief in regard to her actions. I was not disrespectful nor was I confrontational. I simply told her in the nicest way possible that what she did was bull****. I made it clear that if she had no interest in me whether it be as a friend or boyfriend than she shouldn't of wasted my time leading me on to only then turn around and pull the (I'll just hit the **** you button on my cell phone when you call me because I SUDDENLY changed my mind and don't want to be bothered anymore ) routine. My confidence was definitely damaged, but not destroyed. I had decided to not give up and continue on in search of a new girlfriend =b

 

The end of January had finally arrived... along with my ex-girlfriend Rebecca. Me and her got back together for an entire two weeks. Valentine's Day was right around the corner. I was so happy and excited to be back with her that I had planned a weekend in Ixtapa, Mexico for me and her as a Valentine's day gift. To say the least, the last day before we were to leave she had decided to throw a tantrum in my hotel room about a comment I made about Angelina Jolie. She absolutely flipped out throwing anything she could get her hands onto at me. This chick went absolutely ape-**** simply because I rolled my tongue and said "mmmmm... she looks delicious". Because of one stupid remark, I now want to have sex with every female entity on the face of this planet. We didn't say one word to eachother throughout the entire flight back to Chicago. We had one last explosion of words on our drive back to our homes. Before me and her parted for the day, I had made a call to one of my friends to see if he wanted to attend the auto-show with me. He had agreed, and with that event now being planned I had thought that I could perhaps deescalate the situation with my ex by going to the auto-show. She made every excuses known to human civilization as to why she "couldn't" got with us. My friend, myself, and a few others ended up going to the auto-show without her. Later on that evening she calls me to tell me that she went there with her "friends" (all which were male) to the auto-show and was "pissed-off" that I didn't pick up my phone so we could meet up. I gave her so many opportunities to go with us that after all the **** I had dealt with on our trip to Mexico... Let me just say that my vocabulary got one hell of a work out that night. I never seen her again after that. Our time in Mexico was to be the last time we would ever share a look, a smile, a kiss... The next time I would ever talk to her once again berating me followed by putting her new boyfriend (which by the way is poor, podunk, piece of white-trash **** who has an atrocious southern accent -- who's mother I bet wished that her medical plan included abortion) on the phone to try and mediate my dispute to retrieve my belongings from her. Once again, I haven't seen or spoken to her since mid-february.

 

March had arrived. It was about half way into the month when I decided to squash my differences with one of my old friends. One Friday evening, me and this guy along with his male roommate and his girlfriend had all decided that we wanted to get drunk. I was all-in on the low-key idea of lets-hang-out-and-drink-play-cards-and-pass-out up until I received a much better offer from my best friend. My best-friend had told me about a birthday party he was going to with an open-bar... Open-bar was all I had to hear. Everyone back at the house was pissed because I decided to ditch them at the last minute. It was now 4am and my best-friend was too smashed to walk. I was still wide awake and looking for more action. I had decided to call the aforementioned guy and his roommate to see if the drink-a-thon was still in effect. I had gotten the go-ahead to return back over there. To my surprise there were only two people awake when I arrived 30 minutes later -- the guy's roommate's girlfriend and some other girl who was drinking with them and had decided to spend the night. This random girl some how knew me from years ago. Based upon the description she gave me of how she knew me, I couldn't determine whether she had a crush on me years ago or if she wanted to assassinate me. Me and the two girls continued to drink until 6am when dude's girlfriend decided she was finished for the night. That left me with her friend who was full of energy and obviously had a thing for me whether that had been then or in the past. To get right to the point, me and her had sex 2-3 times after her friend went to sleep. A day had passed and I returned to the guy's place to recap (like a typical male) the events of that Friday night. I had asked him if I would ever see that girl again in which he responded with "she is going to be here in an hour". Of course a dopey-ass look appeared on my face along with some stupid comment as I was all excited to see her once again. That excitement would later come to an end. When she arrived there was no awkwardness, tension, regret, she came to me as if we had been dating for months. It was now Saturday night and I had already spend hours with her simply cuddling and watching t.v. Due to the night before and me only getting like 2 hours of sleep, I was absolutely exhausted. I had left around midnight to go home and get some much needed sleep. It is now Sunday morning, and I wake up around 7am-8am to a text message from my friend saying he had "something big-time to tell me". I don't know how... I just don't know how... But I already knew what it was that he wanted to tell me. Sure enough, I haul-ass over to his house to find out what it was he had to tell me. I forgot what it was he told me, but I knew he was lying. I knew what had happened before anyone even told me. After I confronted my friend, I had went to downstairs to talk to his roommate only to find him basically cuddled up with the girl who just spend the last 1 1/2 with me. I played it off like I didn't know anything. I knew right then and there that they had sex with one another. I was ****ing furious. First off, this guy has a girlfriend. His girlfriend left at 3am while her friend once again spent the night awaiting her return the next day. I could not believe it. This girl who was totally in to me, who had sex with me multiple times, talked to me, cuddled with me, had the audacity to have sex with my friend's roommate. This bitch couldn't even look me in the eyes. When his girlfriend arrived... I had a novel ready for her. I took her friend apart, I humiliated her. What kind of woman would do what this woman did to me? A woman with not one iota of self-respect. If a guy does that to a girl or even worse... his GIRLFRIEND!!! he would be hung by his testicles and shot in head. I once again had met a girl this year who I thought was genuine... I met a girl who I thought was sincere, loyal, and honest. I was a total ****ing moron for believing that one. I understand that me and this girl were not an item. I understand that as a single woman she had and still has the right to wang and bang anyone she chooses... but under the aforementioned circumstances? are you ****ing kidding me!! I can go on and on and on about this bitch, but I won't. I had nightmares for over a month about women committing such acts against me. I once had a girlfriend who cheated on me. At one time, I thought it was because I was a bad boyfriend, but that couldn't of been further from the truth. She was simply a deceptive slut. I am now sensitive to such acts of disloyalty. My entire life, I have watched my father cheat on my mother and take advantage of her kindness. Now, I have women doing the same **** my father has been doing to my mother to me. I no longer associate with any of the aforementioned individual excluding my best-friend.

 

 

April had now arrived. One of my ex-girlfriends had introduced me to a girl she was going to school with. I should of realized what trouble lingered around the corner... But of course, I wanted to jump right back into a relationship. To get right to the point, me and this girl spend two weekends together. The first weekend, we had went to a huge party on her college campus. An hour into the party, I caught her making out with some random guy. I was ****ing pissed... I mean obviously seeing as what I had already been through. Me and this girl had already been intimate, and that is why I still to this day do not understand why she did what she did to me that night. She never apologized for what she did. but instead made 1000 excuses as to why she did it. I had explained to her that I really couldn't be mad or exact revenge seeing as she wasn't my formal girlfriend. By the end of that night she had been lit up like Chinese New Year. She became more and more defensive as more time has passed by allowing more of the alcohol content to settle. I had decided to leave. It was 4am and I had a two hour commute ahead of me. The night had not worked out the way I had wanted it to. Two weeks had went by... Me and this girl had kept up correspondence, but that was about it. We had finally talked things out and had decided to once again see each other. To my surprise, this last weekend spent with her would forever change the way I interact with women. We had spend a total of four days together. the first two were amazing. Me and this girl had established an amazing rapport with one another. There was less touchy touchy, and more attempts at really getting to know one another. Nothing was official between us, our relationship was still premature. The last night we spent together would forever remain engraved in my memory. We had both been invited to yet another party by the ex who had introduced us to one another. The night of that party, I had discovered some gruesome facts about both my ex and the girl she had introduced me to. My ex and her new boyfriend had decided to throw a party at his parents condo. His parents were overseas for a week giving us all free reign over a lavish condo... Everything was going alright until... Until I discovered that my ex and the girl she had introduced me to were Cokeheads. I was devastated by what I had walked into in one of the bedrooms of the condo. As soon as I walked in on my ex, this girl, and various other individuals, the entire room had became dead silent. My ex knew that I hated drugs of such nature. Me, personally, I have only smoked pot. I have never experimented with any other illicit drugs at anytime. At that point, the girl who my ex introduced me to was not at all interested in me anymore. She was now enticed with the free cocaine she was receiving. She was also enticed with another guy who had been enjoying the drug along with everyone else. By this time, I had already consumed a good quantity of liquor. It was unsafe from me to drive home. I was stuck with my ex and her new boyfriend until I was sure I could safely drive home. After witnessing what I had witnessed, I began to drink even more. My ex's boyfriend came out to talk to me, he was one of the few people who didn't engage in the consumption of the drug. He had finally talked me out of throwing a big scene. This girl not only had disrespected me by engaging in such a behavior as using cocaine, she also disrespected me by openly flirting with another guy. The next two scenarios would remain burned images in my mind for the rest of my life. The girl who my ex introduced me to decided she wanted to **** the guy she had been flirting with while using the drug. My ex (who was as high as a kite) slipped up letting the whole world know what was going on in one of the rooms. My ex walked over to the room and opened the door... I got out of my chair and walked right over to the door pushing her aside to find out that my ex wasn't lying and that some random guy was ****ing the girl who was suppose to be with me. I had to walk outside of the condo... I had try my hardest not to think about the O.J Simpson case. I was raging, I had a demon inside of me at that point. I had to sober up, I had to leave as quickly as possible. There was an empty bedroom in which I chose to go lay down in. I didn't want to think about what I had just seen. I didn't want to know why this girl would do such a thing to me. I didn't want to think about everything that already had happened to me this year... I still couldn't help it. I eventually fell asleep, it was a most restless sleep. I had awoken to a loud slam at 7am. My ex's boyfriend's parents were had obviously lied about their date of return. I turned to my right and realize that the tramp who ****ed another guy (basically, right in front of me) was laying next to me. It occurred to me that she obviously had no other room to sleep in after I had went to sleep and the party had ended. The parents were throwing everyone out. 10 minutes later I find myself outside along with everyone else. This time there was no restraint, I ignited on this girl. I called her every degrading name I could come up with to explain what a dirty slut she was. I wanted backhand the **** out of this girl. I didn't want to hit her because she used Cocaine, and I didn't want to hit her for sleeping with some random guy right in front of me. I wanted her to see stars for having the fearlessness, guts, idiocy, and disrespect to get in the same bed with me after what she had did. After ventilating, I had left. I went straight to my best-friends house and woke him up. He was very supportive of me. He couldn't believe what I had went through that weekend. He couldn't believe that I was able to keep my composure so well under such extreme circumstances.

 

The nightmares had worsened. I would have dreams about such scenarios 3-4 times a week. It is now near the end of May and the nightmares are beginning to subside. The event of this past half year have drastically changed the way I interact with the opposite sex. I no longer introduce myself to a member of the opposite sex. My insatiable sex drive seems to have ceased to exist. I still look at women and know I find myself attracted to them. I still look at women and am legitimately interested in finding the right girl. I am really pessimistic about any type of contact with the opposite sex. I have become paranoid, untrustworthy of the opposite sex.

 

Taking the time to post all of this down has made me feel much better. I have read many of the posts here on this web-site, and I most certainly can identify with various individuals.

 

I hope I can one day trust again, but I just don't know how.

[Reckless]

I'll give a dollar to anyone that reads that all the way through (there will be a quiz)

 

To the OP: If you are not a budding writer looking to get your work read, you may need to condence a little.

[Trialbyfire]

You owe me a dollar. I read the whole thing and was astounded at how horrible people can be. It's not surprising that the OP is feeling extremely cynical towards women and more appropriately, peoples' lifestyles in general. All I can say is that not every woman is like this. Just nasty.

[Mustang Sally]

Can I get a quarter for just scrolling through it slowly using my mouse wheel?

 

Needs more paragraph breaks, I think. Would be better visually that way.

[CL55]

Thank you to those which attempted/read through everything. When I discovered this web-site I simply had to ventilate some of my inner frustrations with no end in mind. I basically spilled my guts with no interest in formatting my writing. For those who chose to ridicule the format of my writing with obnoxious remarks, I would appreciate it if no feedback was left whatsoever. Regardless of the length of my thread, let me remind everyone on this web-site that it is MY thread, and I can banter on as much as I want to the length and extend that I feel is necessary to combat my point. A.J.C

[ddnnee]

just the shear amount of text makes me wanna click the big red X at the top right corner.

[Mary3]

I did read the entire story. I was fascinated . I actually got up for water and to put a load of clothes in the dryer but I came back and finished the entire letter ( Oh, someone owes me a dollar too )

 

As for the Original Poster : Welcome to the year 2007 where cheating , lying , nasty behavior and slutty drama is the main course for dinner.

 

Have we all experienced it to the same degree that you have ?? I am not sure. I have never seen a letter ( so well written ` minus the absence of paragraphs ) but we are here to help you. I suspect some might think you a Troll ...a writing troll I guess . But I don't.

 

Your first mistake : Wanting a beautiful loving lasting relationship in 2 minutes...

 

You ARE getting however slutty whorish behavior off females who appear to be drunk or high .

 

Lesson to learn : Don't believe anything you hear .... Go for action and results

Go : S L O W.............

 

Weed out the crackwhores and the sluts by * getting to really KNOW them before you invest your heart and your male member in your pants.

 

Thus when she sniffs the white pleasure or gets some other pleasures from your roomies or friends /ex friends then you will likely know NOT to invest in these trashy women.

 

Do good women exist ? Hell yes they do. I am one of them * wink *

[directx]

People should watch that movie 'A River Runs Through It'.

THe most interesting thing I got out of the movie (and I love the movie) is the scene where the father makes his kid write and re-write and re-write and re-write his homework essay.

 

The father kept saying 'make it shorter'.

 

Its good advice. A little editing goes a long way.

 

(To digress, I think J.K. Rowling needs an editor in her books, but who is going to tell her what to do?)