Avice needed

[Guest]

My gf broke up with me 2.5 months ago. I went into an immiediate tail spin, failed an exam and got fired from work.

In all that time I did the pleading/begging and basically got told to get lost.

She even threatened me with restraining warrants. Now that I think about it.. damn. I couldnt help myself from calling her even thought I knew that IF she did pick up (low chances) then it would basically be a 'why are u calling me? Dont u have other things to do?' sort of answer. And yet I kept stabbing myself and stabbing with contacting her, and was even twisting the knife around inside my chest. I bled a lot.

The reasons she gave for the break up were 'u pushed my feelings away with all that u did' (I was a complete ******* for the last half a year.. we were together for 2.5). Whenever I asked (through tears.. yeah the macho guy crying) if she still loved me, the closest to a NO was 'you dont break up with people you love'. Damn that hurt.

In any case. I told her around a month ago that I will be leaving for vacation for 5 weeks. (Yeah in truth I just needed to get away cause this whole situation was messing me up big time) and she decided to go for a movie with me. After the movie when I drove her home, she kissed me for the first time in 2 months. Other times I tried to kiss her whenever i 'stalked' her I would get a firm slap across my face.

After that, the day I was leaving she came over to my house, just sat there and eventually we started kissing/some foreplay. She then started crying when I tried to go further, said she cant and thts not why she came. She wanted to see me before I left and said she would miss me.

When I was leaving she gave me 3 calls when I was at the airports, and sent me sms's telling me that she already missed me and wants to keep in touch.

We talk on msn every one or two days.

What does this all mean? Ive gone to counselling and fixed my problems, told her this, and I realise I treated her like an A**hole and would never take her for granted agian. She is the most important thing in my life together with my car and I never want to loose her. Do you think her feelings can be changed and is tehre a chance for a second chance?