Desertgirl Posted May 17, 2007 Share Posted May 17, 2007 I have been with someone for 5 months. He says he loves being with me, wants me in his life, but, says he cannot go to the next level at this time in his life....he does not rule our ever being together. I told him I cannot hide my feelings and that this is not OK with me. Long conversation later, he says he is willing to give me all the space I need and to call him when I am ready to reconnect......no, there is no wife etc. WHAT the heck is going on? He does not want to lose me, but cannot commit despite daily phone calls etc. Cannot figure this one out at all........... I want to go NC, does this really work? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 17, 2007 Share Posted May 17, 2007 It will work in the sense that you will be able to rid your life of him, and be in a better emotional place to find somone else who will make you a lot happier in terms of what you want from a relationship. Sure, this guy will 'come back' to you if go to NC, but only enough to keep you where he wants you. It isn't going to make him want to commit to you, or give you the type of relationship that you want. If you are going to go to NC, you will need to be in the mindset of "this will set me free" rather than "this will bring him back". If you are doing it to "bring him back" you will be doing nothing more than setting yourself up with false hope and making yourself miserable waiting for him to 'come back'. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Desertgirl Posted May 17, 2007 Author Share Posted May 17, 2007 I think you hit it on the head regarding "where he wants me". He was angry when I told him that I could not do this with him and I was letting go totally, not just "gving it time". Still can't figure him out though, too close to the situation, not sure why he wanted me for an "ace in the hole" (what I was feeling). Needless to say, I loved being with him too........ Link to post Share on other sites
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