Ally Boo Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 I meant what is worse...being in love AND alone...or being in love with someone else AND being in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mewbomb Posted January 22, 2003 Author Share Posted January 22, 2003 that the latter is worse...for a number of reason... one...the poor person in the relationships other end...eventually gets hurt... being alone is bad...but at least you don't have to bring someone down with you!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Never really looked at it that way... Link to post Share on other sites
Swamp Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 And dont be so sure that the other person is in love with you. Sometimes people have histronic personalities or are just in the infatuation stage. When it comes down to it they might actually have you on the pedestal you think they have you on. Even if they say it. Being in love and being alone is a very horrible feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
lostone Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 I was going to come in today and pose the same question that mewbomb did. I'm in the same situation with my ex and she has left me to go find herself. I sent her flowers last weekend, like $150 worht of roses just to say that I care, love and support her. I guess I will leave her the f*** alone until she gets it sorted out. Excellent post! Link to post Share on other sites
Swamp Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Lostone.... BACK OFF! lol.. Yeah man. STAY BACK! Go completely AWOL from her life. Cut off all sources of information and contact. Be completely unknown from her life. Watch what happens. She will atleast try to contact you and you can just play her off. Your ego is incredibly damaged right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 I've decided after these posts, that I should break up with him. I truely care deeply for him and he's the best thing that has happened to me...best boyfriend I've had, but y'all are right. It's not fair to be with him when my heart is still hung up else where. Link to post Share on other sites
lostone Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Swamp... You rock man! I will, I will and I will. We will see where that goes. I would take her back only if she the help that she even admits that she needs. Good Luck Ally Boo Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 I broke up with him. Love really sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
lostone Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Life and love can sure suck can't it? Or is it that some people suck? Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 but sometimes sucking is a good thing in people...girls especially. Link to post Share on other sites
Swamp Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Dont judge him on how he acts after the break up either. Passionate men who find a connection can have difficulty withdrawling the passion they were letting out. He may appear overbearing or even too sensitive. Did you seriously break up with him? Is he ok? Its definitely not fair to keep him building love for you while you are hung up elsewhere. Lostone.... you are already convincing yourself that you will take her back. Subliminally you are clinging on to hope that she will come back. Good for you.. thats how it goes down. But you should try to just completely cut her off and learn everything from this that you can. Break ups happen for tons of reasons. A lot of the time its because the person wanted to be destructive to something that was too beautifully constructed. Think about it... if she needs help and has emotional and mental issues; then the positive and great relationship cant fit into that puzzle. She needs to work on herself before she can work on both of you. A ****ed in the head type of person never lasts in relationships. They can become very stand offish towards you and blame you for everything. Its their way of dismissing the truth about themselves. You dont want anyone like that now do you? Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 I seriously did. I think he understands. I explained to him that it's bc I need to get this stuff sorted out...because in all honesty, he's too great for me not to be 100% there. I'm sure he's ok. He's pretty supportive. Link to post Share on other sites
Swamp Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 How long were you with him? What stuff needs sorted out? Why is he so great? Because he didnt put up a fight to keep you around? Is he the doormat type? Or is he just a Virgo? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mewbomb Posted January 22, 2003 Author Share Posted January 22, 2003 well..good for you Ally for doing what you thought was right instead of dragging it out... but... are you even going to be able to talk with the other one?? just curious! hehe.. um... yeah..i agree with the passionate thing..about how even some hard ass can become emotional when breaking up..but it doesn't mean they are wimpy!! i think thats what happened to me...not saying im a hard ass...but usually i am very composed and calm... i broke down!! anyways...good luck everyone Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 He's actually a Gemini...which is supposed to be a great match for Aries. We have only been together about a month. He's great because he's so supportive and understanding. He is NOT a doormat by any means. He's a high quality person and I would definately consider settling down with him if I were ready. When I met him, I wasn't expecting a relationship...but he was so great, that I figured I could look past my "issues" and give it a go, but I've freaked out twice...I'm not ready for a relationship. The day before yesterday, I pulled out my bible, bc I haven't picked it up in so long, and I found a sticky note that I wrote before I got married...and it brought back a lot of feelings...and I realized I'm not over my marriage. Then right after I left my husband I got involved with Steven (the cheater)...and we all know I'm not over him either. So, I need to take the time to get over both of them. I just have never given myself a chance to be single, and I really need it. Link to post Share on other sites
Swamp Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Does he understand your issues? Mewbomb... all men are wimpy in relationships. No one is an emotional hard ass. Its impossible to be. If you bottle up emotions they just leak into your mind and turn you all crazy and weird. They are impossible to avoid. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mewbomb Posted January 22, 2003 Author Share Posted January 22, 2003 it all depends who you are with and how you feel about them... I am emotional but only when i feel strongly about that persone.....and believe you/me that it doesn't happen often, but it is happening now!!! ugh............ Link to post Share on other sites
Author mewbomb Posted January 23, 2003 Author Share Posted January 23, 2003 I was wondering... any girls or guys out there think that the fact I didn't tell my now ex-gf that i would marry her made a difference? I am 28 now and think im ready....... I never said that i wanted to spend my life with her, but i do!! Who knows? Anyone give any insight... ive been thinking about that alot... Its not as if it makes a difference now...but maybe she thinks i didn't want to, or wouldn't... be with her! comments welcome___________________ Link to post Share on other sites
Swamp Posted January 23, 2003 Share Posted January 23, 2003 Im guessing that commitment is something she would have brought up to you. But who knows we all have different ways of handling things. How exactly did she break up with you? I will try to give my input if I knew more details. Just make sure you dont contact her. They tend to come back in some sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted January 23, 2003 Share Posted January 23, 2003 I wouldn't tell her that right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Swamp Posted January 23, 2003 Share Posted January 23, 2003 Nothin.. dont worry about it. Dont bring up the marriage thing. Dont. I prayed last night for positive strength and energy. I feel like a lot better today. Not 100% or anything. But I think this depression stage is starting to wither out. Im getting ready to just accept this and move on. Debating on writing her a letter with no intention of getting her back or anything. Just to tell her how much ive been through without her and how im finally getting back to my normal self. And to basically let her know I want her to have a good life without me and I will DEFINITELY have a good life without her. Seriously.. no ulterior motive. Just to let her know those things that she was wrong about. How narcissistic she was and how great my friends and family have been to me. Im not even angry anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mewbomb Posted January 23, 2003 Author Share Posted January 23, 2003 no matter what you want to write this letter for.... its not worth it... because i know in the back of your head...your still trying to get her back... i know how you feel... Im glad i never sent the letter i wrote... Either way... i know she cares about you... You writing a letter is going to do nothing except make her know her decision was right@@... Sounds odd but i believe it.... Im gonna try and get on with life and not contact for a while...if a few weeks go by and nothing...then ill call and tell her... im gone for good... Link to post Share on other sites
Swamp Posted January 23, 2003 Share Posted January 23, 2003 haha... yo man this is after 2 months of little to no contact at all. This letter wouldnt be to try to get her back. The back of my mind would have to be clear on that before I wrote it. Ive already written those letters. This letter is the phone call you are talking about. But I wonder.. would you try to be silent in hopes she will come to you. Then call her to tell her you are gone for good in hopes of forcing her to realize you arent accessible to her anymore in hopes of getting her back. I guess the ultimate letter and phone call is the one you dont have to write or make. Because that means you dont care anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mewbomb Posted January 23, 2003 Author Share Posted January 23, 2003 i do know that all of this sucks right now... i want to call so bad that i im going to go out to stop it... ill be back later Link to post Share on other sites
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