mjayc Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 Not to the extent of getting caught...thus far. But the whole reason on my part generally rests on the whole idea that m y H does not pay any attn to me. NONE. His hobbies and work come #1, hobbies first and foremost. His hobbies keep him away from us season after season. Yes he sleeps and showers here, at home, but quickly. Sex is second to last on his list besides me...being LAST. One year...our 1st yr of marriage...only 10 times...all of which I practically forced him into. On to the 3rd year is when I had my 1st affair. It lasted a short time. The guilt and anguish of the sin penetrated my whole being. Since then I have nnot been able to forgive myself much less him for pushing me to that point. Yes I talked and tried to communicate our problems, but I was dilusionary as far as he was concerned. Not only that, he was also very controlling, wanting me to do nothing, go no where. If he was not in the woods, or on the water doing what he loves most, I might think he was cheating on me! So, I tried to give it another go, and ignored the probs we had. Another 2 years went by and another opportunity came where I had 2 seperate 1-nighters with 2 old guy friends. (2 seperate times---but only months apart) The guilt drove me back into a depression to the point where I cannot even discribe. But back again to the same old stuff, only this time, I did not allow myself to be put back into situations that would get me into trouble. I have tried to surround myself ONLY around other married girlfriends. Things are no different bt the H and I. Once, I attempted to leave my H, but had no where to go. I don't have a job, no family, and I am still in college. And I am not wanting to lose our baby. So here I am. Now, I have found myself in my 4th affair. This time in an even worse situation. It is his bestfriend. His wife is mine. He and I have a past history from highschool. And I guess those emotions escalated his curiosity to be with me. Every opportunity for the last 2 and a half years, he has made comments on my looks, my whole personality, and he empathises with my dilemma of my marriage, tho I never have discussed it with him...he knew NOTHING of my problems. Until recently, at a low point --- he started kissing on me and telling me it should have been US....da da da da... I stopped him and told him to never do that again, I will pretend it never happened. But after another mo of no sex, or affection from my H, I turned to th OM, and we have done the deed. Of course now, he wants to stay away from me bc he's feeling the guilt. This time Im not....well, not like b4. i feel like I am an aweful friend... I know I am not to be w/ this guy---don't want him other than for the feelings of some affection again--- and it is a horrible sin, but my M is over. I am giving it ine more shot if this time it fails, I am out. He knows it (H), and I know it. Link to post Share on other sites
dbtmarley Posted May 19, 2007 Share Posted May 19, 2007 Hmmmm... Sounds to me like you have too much time on your hands.. Oh and just so you know.... it sounds like you ended your marriage already. He makes it so you do not work and get to go to college and whats his reward? Ahhh I'll screw his best friend. Hey here is an idea, if he does not make you happy why not leave? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 19, 2007 Share Posted May 19, 2007 Your marriage was over before it started. Your husband has little libido. Maybe he has an addiction to masturbation that you don't know about. Perhaps he is simply asexual. In any case, his unwillingness to be affectionate toward you in any manner is a MAJOR statement. You must now take responsibility for this whole mess by kindly, peacefully and with love removing yourself from the marriage. If you continue to have affairs of any kind, you will screw your mind up real bad. If you have problems with any of this divorce process, seek the help of a competent counselor. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Your huisband may have no sexy drive but thats no excuse for your horribly disgusting behavior. Do you possess even an ounce of self control? Is there any male that you've encountered that you haven't slept with? You husband may be a bad husband but did you really have to sleep with his best friend on top of every thing else you've done to him? And if the sex was that that bad in the first year of marriage one has to assume it wasn't that great before the marriage. So why the hell did you marry him? For his money? Did you think the sex would get better after you were married (when does that every happen)? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 You've now had over 5.5 years to get a job and get your life in order. What are you doing? Your husband works to pay the bills and you cheat with his best friend, your best friend's husband, never mind the others. Stop and look at this. You need to authenticate your life. Go get a job and confess your cheating to your husband and set him free. You chose to cheat, more than once, which are your actions. His actions were that he was unable to meet your needs. Link to post Share on other sites
dbtmarley Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 I just wonder how she puts her make up on without looking in the mirror! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mjayc Posted June 1, 2007 Author Share Posted June 1, 2007 I dont need your judgement. I can look at myself in the mirror just fine you sack of ****. you can take your little comment and **** yourself! All of you losers!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mjayc Posted June 1, 2007 Author Share Posted June 1, 2007 I dont need your judgement. I can look at myself in the mirror just fine you sack of 5hit. you can take your little comment and ***k yourself! All of you losers!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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