InLoveForSure Posted January 16, 2003 Share Posted January 16, 2003 My boyfriend and I live together and are a little short on cash. So, we had just enough $ to go out to dinner for my b-day. After dinner we were walking around some shops, and he spotted a gift he wanted to buy for his neice- who has a birthday coming up in a couple weeks. We get up to the cashier, and he looks to me for the money to pay for it. With $10 left in my pocket for gas, I tell him that we cant get it because we dont have the money. Well, that upset me! I couldnt help but feel that he wasnt thinking of me on MY birthday! Granted, we had just had a wonderful dinner in honor of it, I just felt a bit left out. I let him know and he got defensive. We came home, I cried and he went to bed. We never even made love, which I was really looking forward to, and now I kind of feel like my birthday was spoiled because of this spat. He just moved to my state after maintaing a long distance relationship- so this was the first birthday we have celebrated together, and I feel it was ruined. Am I wrong, am I being selfish? Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted January 16, 2003 Share Posted January 16, 2003 I don't know if its right or wrong, but I think i'd feel exactly the same way! By the way, did he get U a nice bday present? However, I don't think it's worth going back to that or talking about it. Just go on. Take it as a warning sign, but not a fatal one, and see what happens next. Good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author InLoveForSure Posted January 16, 2003 Author Share Posted January 16, 2003 Yes, he did send me a beautiful flower arrangement, and because of the money thing- he is giving me a shopping spree on his next payday, which I totally appreciate. I just have a hard time getting over things, so I am feeling pretty down today (this happened last night). I am trying to get over it and act like nothing happened, but that feeling is still with me and I cant get rid of it! Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted January 16, 2003 Share Posted January 16, 2003 Well, he may have been a bit insensitive in thinking about his neice while out on YOUR birthday, but it sounds like the whole thing blew up way out of proportion and it does sound like you were a little petulant and selfish. I couldnt help but feel that he wasnt thinking of me on MY birthday! Granted, we had just had a wonderful dinner in honor of it, I just felt a bit left out. I let him know and he got defensive. You DID just have a nice dinner out. How did you "let him know" ? Maybe you could have been a little more sensitive to him too -- he had just made a blunder and probably felt bad about it - then was put on the defensive. He was probably horribly embarassed too, to be at the cashier and have you tell him that there is not enough money. I've been in that spot too and my response would be to say "wait a minute - I think I know something she would like better" and pull him away from the counter and tell him in private. It helps save face. I know that comment is too little, too late, but maybe use it for future reference. Next time something like this happens, rather than let it ruin an evening why not let it go for that night and calmly discuss it the next day. It IS time for you to get over it. Maybe you should tell him you are sorry for embarassing him at the cashier and making too much of it, then tell him that you felt slighted not because of the $$ spent on you, but because you wanted to be his total focus that day. Then kiss and make up. (or out) Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted January 16, 2003 Share Posted January 16, 2003 Sorry to say it but I think you were too sensitive and you blew it all out of proportion. People make too damn big of deals about birthdays and "birthday presents" anyway, I think. People often judge someone's feelings/love for them, by how much $ is spent on a particular gift. That's silly, and shallow. He was nice enough, despite not having much money, to send you a nice flower arrangement, he took you out for dinner, he's promised you a shopping spree when he next gets paid....good God, what more do you want from the guy? His left nut? Do you know how many women out there, have boyfriends or hubbies who FORGET it's their birthday, period? Be appreciative of the fact that your b/f is obviously a thoughtful guy.....who REMEMBERS birthdays, including his niece's. That says a lot about the kind of good person he is, don't you think? I think women make too big of a deal about how their men should acknowledge their birthday. Hell, it's just one day of the year, just like any other day. You really should apologize to your guy and tell him you overreacted....and maybe stop being so greedy. Link to post Share on other sites
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