Very worried about friend

[LoveLace]

I have experienced with cocaine very few times in my life; but enough to know when someone else is doing it.

 

I've also witnessed friends get way in to deep with cocaine, so I know the behavior patterns that can occur. I know my roommate has had a problem with this drug in the past. He's also a recovering alcoholic of many years sober; it's a for-sure thing that he will never touch alcohol again. He's an expert on addiction and all the things associated with it; yet I guess he's forgetting it all right now? Before moving in with me, he had gained weight and got a belly cuz he was comfortable with his Ex fiance and he never, ever socialized with friends then, those in our cirlce of friends would complain that he never called, etc. I always figured he was just trying to stay away from drugs or whatever.

 

Before she left him for another man and they split up, he had just began his new job at a sports bar that is notorious for cocaine-hooked employees. He immediately dove into bachelor-hood and started dating the waitresses, etc. By the time he moved in with me, he had lost a lot of the weight and he's now back to his former thin size but he isn't too thin. People tend to lose weight when they go through break-ups, so I never thought much of it. I do remember once when he stayed out all night and had sniffles the next day, but I figured big deal cuz it was a XMAS party and if he only did it once in a blue moon like myself, oh well.

 

So I'm not sure how long it's really been going on, but we've lived here 9 months and I'm just now catching on. This whole time I've questioned our relationship, as he knows I loved him once in the past, and I knew he needed a roommate for financial reasons because he has 3 teenagers on a part-time basis. I will never believe he wanted this to help support his habit; even without the habit, I know his income and there's no way he could survive on it without someone to share the bills with. But I've struggled with my feelings for him,etc, and jealousy (mostly of my behalf I think) finally caused us to have some conflicts a couple months ago. I was too confused about his behavior towards me, when he'd have a girl over the next day, etc. We went from saying we were happy to saying NO MORE and decided to only live together through the lease's life. Then he got a girlfriend from the bar that he was with every night for 2 weeks; up all night, sleeping a whole lot, crabby, distant from me. Then he got sick with the cold virus which put him on the couch for 3 days; and the girl disappeared.

 

I know through mutual friends that he recently did coke at a bachelor party. But another friend/witness saw him with girls from the bar a couple weeks ago and swore he was the only one NOT doing coke. But one day recently I noticed he kept going to the bathroom and taking several minutes. I suspected what was up. I asked if he had diarrhea and he said no he's been drinking a lot water. This particular time, he wasn't acting fidgety, etc. But I later heard him blow his nose a couple times. And he'll claim to be tired, but the next morning I'll find him still playing video games when he started playing them at 3 or 4am. (He works nights). Last night he didn't get home from until 5am, plenty of time to "party" after work, and he seemed all happy to see me and a bit energetic, and I think his eyes were bulging. He's been on these kicks lately where he's just extra sweet to me. I think he's quiet/crabby while not using. But his extended affection and sweetness lately has me thinking he must have feelings for me; however, I don't know if all of this loving behavior has occurred while he was only high. It's hard to know. Can this drug make you behave all sweet like that? Is it out of guilt?

 

Just last week he suddenly went out to his car for 20 min. but didn't drive anywhere. When he came back I asked him if he was doing coke but sord of in a joking way. He said NO way and I was "trippin"; but he never explained what the car thing was about, nor did I ask. It's been since that night, that his affection has gotten even more lovable. But even while sober and at home, he's been all around more attentive and asking me how my day went, etc. Could it all be to disguise what he thinks is a secret?

[Ladywithafan]

I don't know anyone acting sweet while using cocaine. Sounds like he's back on it. No one with an addiction to cocaine or liquour should ever work in a nightclub.

[LoveLace]

Well he isn't that "nice" when he's just sitting at home, I'll tell ya that. Then, he's just lazy and hardly talks. But if he's coked up he's Mr. Sweet Heart.

 

He would never pick up a drink again, he's worked in the restaurant/bar business all his life, and he's gone the last 8 yrs. without a single drink. But I guess he has to compensate for it somehow.