Why does HE have Cold feet?!?!

[FutureMrsP]

So, My fiance and I have been together for just under 3 years. Our wedding date is actuall set for 2 days after out 3 year mark. It is fast approaching, and HE has cold feet!

 

So let me expain a little bit about my fiance and I. We met at a hospital, he did surgery on my grandmother. He later asked me to be the nanny for his children over that summer (he is 10 years divorced)( and yes, I am a much younger woman). Eventually, love bloomed, and we started dating. About 7 months ago, He poped the question, and I said yes without a question in my mind. Mind you, I NEVER pushed him into the decision of marriage. THis was totaly his idea, and I thought it was a great one! So anyway about 2 months ago he asked me to take some time off of school, and move to another state with him because he got a great job offer. Reluctant to leave my family, I did. We live in a tiny 1 bedroom apartment, I work FOR HIM in his office and we were doing great untill HE got cold feet, and here we are today 1 month from our big day.

 

I feel like I have sacrificed ALOT for this man - my education, part of my youth, my family, etc; and now, he's getyting wary about the whole marriage thing.

How do I make him snap out of it?! I've gone throught MANY life changes to cater to him, and now i get cold feet?!?!? help!!

[bab]

So, My fiance and I have been together for just under 3 years. Our wedding date is actuall set for 2 days after out 3 year mark. It is fast approaching, and HE has cold feet!

 

So let me expain a little bit about my fiance and I. We met at a hospital, he did surgery on my grandmother. He later asked me to be the nanny for his children over that summer (he is 10 years divorced)( and yes, I am a much younger woman). Eventually, love bloomed, and we started dating. About 7 months ago, He poped the question, and I said yes without a question in my mind. Mind you, I NEVER pushed him into the decision of marriage. THis was totaly his idea, and I thought it was a great one! So anyway about 2 months ago he asked me to take some time off of school, and move to another state with him because he got a great job offer. Reluctant to leave my family, I did. We live in a tiny 1 bedroom apartment, I work FOR HIM in his office and we were doing great untill HE got cold feet, and here we are today 1 month from our big day.

 

I feel like I have sacrificed ALOT for this man - my education, part of my youth, my family, etc; and now, he's getyting wary about the whole marriage thing.

How do I make him snap out of it?! I've gone throught MANY life changes to cater to him, and now i get cold feet?!?!? help!!

 

Cold feet are natural. I was 100% sure I wanted to marry my H, but a few weeks from the wedding I started to freak because my parents went through a bad divorce. None of my friends or my fiance's parents were divorced, so they didn't understand it either. In this case it isn't your fiance's parents that were divorced, but him himself. Marriage can be scary when you've been burned before. He's probably asking himself what guarantees he has that this is going to work out when it didn't last time. And the truth is, there are NONE, and that's a scary prospect some time. I'd recommend talking to him about his fears and trying to be a bit more understanding. You freaking out on him is only going to make it worse.

[green-eyed beauty]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I think this guy has deceived you bigtime. He has lured you to his place with the "prize" of engagement, and now that he has you in his place, after you've restructured your life to cater to him, he wants to renegotiate the terms.

I don't think he wanted to get married in the first place to you. I think he has this lovely arrangement with this much younger woman and he has it all, why should he buy the cow, so to speak. He has you trapped because you are living with him, with not a lot of income except for working in his office. You are trapped because he asked you to take off from school to be with him. And now...after he has you trapped, he has told you he doesn't want what he has promised you, marriage. You have sacrificed your education for this man, what a jerk.

Get out now. He's a manipulator. Plus he's a doctor, right? Why does he have you living in a tiny one-bedroom apartment? He is not even giving you all that you deserve.

Move back and get back in school and leave this jerk behind for good. You can get a YOUNG, successful guy who will not be a manipulator and will truly love you, and you are better off getting a degree now. You can probably meet a decent guy in college. If you want that doctor, just study at the medical school library. You deserve a young guy, your age, to start a life with, not a guy who has to manipulate a woman into his life with lies to get her.

[4whatItsWorth]

What kind of doctor lives in a one room apartment?!

 

I am SO mad at your boyfriend for asking you to leave family AND education!!! What kind of boyfriend does that?! He sounds like a true loser and it is horrible that he has done this to you.

 

Please reconsider going back to your education - I am 100% sure it is nothing wrong with you - he is a jerk. Ýou gave him your all and this is how he "thank" you?? No, go back home, get an education, a career and find yourself a man who respects a woman enough to let her educate herself.