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Wife Currently Recovering Trust Issues and Self Well Being


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This may get long but here goes my story!

 

It all started about 2 years ago my wife and I have been married now going on 7 years and we have been together for 10. My wife about 3 years ago had a bariatric surgery and at the time I will admit I was not very supportive of the decision because for some reason I had a gut feeling it would turn the family upside down and inside out. Anywho my wife started acting really strange about 2 years ago after she had lost all the weight from the surgery. She started having new friends women and men and she started to be gone from home alot. Weekends mainly but than it got so bad it was 4 to 6 days a week. We have a 7 year old daughter also. This went on and I was so confused for so long that now I am almost not hurt anymore because I got use to it. Finally it came to head about 4 months ago and she admited that she was an addict/alcholic and that she had been for sometime when all these changes took place. She at that time was very hatefull and all talking and sexual relations had stoped basically we were just two living in the same house.

 

Anyway 67 days ago to this day she finally went into rehab and has been clean ever since. It is still very hard knowing what she did the drugs plus she admitted to cheating on me with a few different men. I have since learned to forgive ,but not forget. Now she is gone alot to meetings to stay on the program and to be clean and sober forever ,but we are taking it one day at a time. I have started to attend alon meetings ,but have yet to become confortable because it is mostly middle aged females which I have no problem with ,but I still feel uncomfortable. My wife has made many friends in rehab some female and many male which is very hard to stomach but out of respect for her I have learned to deal. The marriage seems to be getting better ,but I am still very sick on the inside and really I don't know how to feel better. My questions are endless and really I don't know where to go from here because I love her ,but in my mind I don't feel she loves me as much as I love her. I am trying to let her have her space to recover ,but I am still hurting inside a ton. When does it get easier? I have learned to Let Go Let God. I am so deeply wounded though I am not sure I will ever recover I feel as if everyday I am walking on thin ice and that my life could go into a total tailspin. Ok thats all I have advice comments or even a keep your chin up would be much appreciated.

 

Take Care!

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