SadandConfusedWA Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 I'm just wondering if MM is more likely to cheat if his wife has let herself go and I don't mean just getting older, but gaining large amounts of weight, not taking care of what she wears etc. Please don't flame me, I'm genuinly curious since men are very visual if that is a factor in cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 I have seen my xmm's wife in the grocery store but neither of them saw me. I thought he was with his mother (except that she is dead!). I nticed that they never communicated and were very distant while doing the shopping. That pleased me because if I had seen them cuddling up and holding hands, that would have been like a red flag. I am not boasting but she was dowdy, old fashioned and had short grey hair and no make up. (Yes I did get quite close at one stage). In short she was a back end of a bus. Most (not all) mm have mistresses who are far better looking than their wives and who don't just lie on their backs like a sack of potatoes. So some wives who let themselves deteriorate, invite the OW into their husband's lives... Link to post Share on other sites
Melissa277 Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 Are you kidding me? I've been lurking around here for a while ... just reading and comprehending. But this post has finally prompted me to respond. My husband's "OW" was ugly, old and looked like she had been rode hard and put away wet. Do you really think that all OW are beautiful and all wives aren't? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted May 20, 2007 Author Share Posted May 20, 2007 Relax. I'm not even the OW. I'm not involved or have ever been involved with MM. The OW was ugly? Then your hubby is just sad dirty cheater that will F##% anything that moves. I'm so sorry you married him. Next. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 I'm just wondering if MM is more likely to cheat if his wife has let herself go and I don't mean just getting older, but gaining large amounts of weight, not taking care of what she wears etc. Please don't flame me, I'm genuinly curious since men are very visual if that is a factor in cheating. I really don't know the wives except for one I saw on a picture... I don't think it has anything to do with 'beauty'. But I agree that if the woman (goes for men too btw) gained a lot of weight, doesn't take care of herself, it could be a huge factor for the partner to cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted May 20, 2007 Author Share Posted May 20, 2007 I didn't mean beauty as such, but huge change in appearance since when they married to now. Not just the normal process of getting older and gaining a few pounds. Link to post Share on other sites
Melissa277 Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 I am relaxed. I'm just sick and tired of men cheating because a) their wives just don't understand them b) they're bored with their sex life at home c) they don't feel appreciated d) their wives let themselves go e) blah, blah, blah. In my opinion, they're all just losers and so are the women they're involved with. I know my family was destroyed by my husband's affair. And yes, my husband is a dirty cheater and liar who makes me want to puke ... especially after I saw what he was screwing. In my husband's case, he claims she "just wouldn't leave him alone." Yeah, whatever. And, if you're not an "OW" why would you even ask that question? Next. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 Looks rarely have much to do with it - there are exceptions to that, of course - but I think it has more to do with how OW makes MM feel about himself than any particular physical attraction he has for her. Any woman can be a good listener and hand out great ego strokes/sex/blowjobs/kink. That's more or less what he is looking for, and a woman doesn't have to be particularly attractive for that to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Impudent Oyster Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 Camilla Parker Bowles/Princess Diana. 'Nuff said. Link to post Share on other sites
Impudent Oyster Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 Christie Brinkley is, IMO, one of the most beautiful women on the planet and her dopey husband screwed a teenaged nobody who couldn't hold a candle to Christie. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 I think it's less to do with wives "letting themselves go", more to do with opportunities (ones that promise discretion) presenting themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 Hi, In my case I believe I was better looking than the MM's wife. I'm genuinly curious since men are very visual if that is a factor in cheating. I think the attraction helped, but the reason why he cheated was because I was such a pest about being with him, in my opinion. If it was all up to him it probably wouldn't have happened. Ariadne __________________ ♥ ~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~ ♥ Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 The OW was ugly? Then your hubby is just sad dirty cheater that will F##% anything that moves. I'm so sorry you married him. So if the OW was beautiful, then he would have been justified and not just a sad, dirty cheater that will f*ck anything that moves? Maybe that's not what you meant, but that's how your statement comes across. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 it really does not matter what the OW looks like just that she is getting some attention from the man... and you need to figure out why. I honestly believe that beauty comes from within... You can be smokin, but your attitude could stink and well it can lessen the way someone sees you. Link to post Share on other sites
VinaAmez Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 I don't know. If I was ever cheated on I would hope it was someone who's ugly. Sorry I'm just being honest. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 Hi, I think the attraction helped, but the reason why he cheated was because I was such a pest about being with him, in my opinion. If it was all up to him it probably wouldn't have happened. While it's always good to take responsibility for your part in a situation, I think you may be giving yourself a little too much credit for control of his behavior here. His behavior was all up to him, and he made his choice... Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 Every situation is different... with similarities of course Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 Hi, His behavior was all up to him, and he made his choice... It was after it had started. But I was the one to initiate it for the most part. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 So if the OW was beautiful, then he would have been justified and not just a sad, dirty cheater that will f*ck anything that moves? Maybe that's not what you meant, but that's how your statement comes across. Boy, you're good! Couldn't have said it better myself. Link to post Share on other sites
amio Posted May 20, 2007 Share Posted May 20, 2007 i don't know i think often we get caught in the wrong moment. the wrong time, and don't have the sense to walk away. the intention is never to hurt but doesn't it always. as the wife who was left for someone else and the woman is becoming that Link to post Share on other sites
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted May 21, 2007 Author Share Posted May 21, 2007 So if the OW was beautiful, then he would have been justified and not just a sad, dirty cheater that will f*ck anything that moves? He would be sad, dirty cheater that will f*ck anything beautiful that moves. He wouldn't be justified but at least it would show he has some standards. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 Relationships not just MM/OW regular old relationships as well are more than just what someone looks like, also it is more than F*****g If someone is lacking either emotional intamacy or physical excitement when they find someone that fills that void then they get into a relationship... why does it have to be about looks Link to post Share on other sites
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted May 21, 2007 Author Share Posted May 21, 2007 Camilla/Diana situation was an exception as are some of the others that have posted in this thread. There are always going to be exceptions. Never mind, I already know the answer to my own question. I was hoping someone is going to have an intelligent discussion about this issue with me, but once again, I overestimate loveshack. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 I didn't mean beauty as such, but huge change in appearance since when they married to now. Not just the normal process of getting older and gaining a few pounds. Camilla/Diana situation was an exception as are some of the others that have posted in this thread. There are always going to be exceptions. Never mind, I already know the answer to my own question. I was hoping someone is going to have an intelligent discussion about this issue with me, but once again, I overestimate loveshack. Don't give up so easily, SaC.... First of all, what is your issue? I am interested to know why you are wondering... For example, if someone cheated with an OW more beautiful, you say "He wouldn't be justified but at least it would show he has some standards." I wonder if that would make it easier to understand or not. When my wife cheated the first time, it was with a guy about my age, and objectively, not a lot different in looks, but in some ways, kind of a dorkier guy, she even admitted. In some ways that made it less of a blow ("well, it's obviously not that she was after someone better looking...") but in some ways, maybe it was even harder to understand: was I so lacking that she found what she was looking for, even in this dork? And then the guy she ultimately left me for is at least 10 years older - again, I don't think any better looking, but how can one be objective here? - and who has certain health problems. And again, I can't decide if that makes it hurt just a little more or less. It's probably a "grass-is-greener" thing - we imagine it would be better "the other way", no matter where we find ourselves. If he were somehow more attractive, I could convince myself that she's shallow, and that I just couldn't compete. On the other hand, if she had left for a younger, more beautiful specimen, I'd probably take it as a blow to my ego and self-image, and wish he were older and more decrepit to ease my anguish in that case. So how about you? Link to post Share on other sites
sadbuttrue Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 i do not believe it is always about looks either. i am better looking than MM's W in my opinion, and we are so different in looks. he has said that he is more attracted to me than her. i think it had more to do with the fact that i put all my attention on him, and we have so much in common. we are in the same field in work and we are able to communicate very easily. i think looks may catch a man's eye, but that is not what is going to get you a marriage proposal, hence all the beautiful OW? Link to post Share on other sites
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