Freedom Now Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 Christie Brinkley is, IMO, one of the most beautiful women on the planet and her dopey husband screwed a teenaged nobody who couldn't hold a candle to Christie. I dated a gentleman who knows Christie Brinkley very well. And he told me that she was one of the meanest, unkind women he had ever met. Therefore, it is inner beauty that matters, not outer. And, BTW, he said he wasn't a bit surprised that her hubby cheated on her. She was a miserable woman to be around.... Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 He would be sad, dirty cheater that will f*ck anything beautiful that moves. He wouldn't be justified but at least it would show he has some standards. It would show his standards are skin deep. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 I dated a gentleman who knows Christie Brinkley very well. And he told me that she was one of the meanest, unkind women he had ever met. Therefore, it is inner beauty that matters, not outer. And, BTW, he said he wasn't a bit surprised that her hubby cheated on her. She was a miserable woman to be around.... Yes... inner beauty does matter... who wants to be intimate with a woman who looks great but is nasty... could you imagine what that would be like for the man? Love and compassion goes a long way Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 I hate to break the stereotype but my ex cheated and not because of looks. That I can guarantee. I can only tell you what his primary OW did, which attracted him. It started as an EA from viewing assorted emails. She stroked his ego constantly, promoting the negative aspects of his personality more and more, fueling the unhealthy side of him, making him feel justified for his "jerkside" tendencies. For example, when he would discuss firing someone, she would laugh and applaud his right as a senior exec to fire someone he didn't like. I do recall discussing this situation with him and not supporting him with the understanding that performance and other work negatives should drive his wish to dismiss. Personal feelings and abuse of power do not belong in the workplace. It was obviously an effective technique... Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 Yes in my case I am considerably better looking, but it wasn't just a looks thing I am very outgoing (she apparently was a total introvert) I am spontaneous and joke around alot with everyone (men or women). This caused problems because he would get extremely jealous if I as much as spoke to another man in a friendly tone (waiter, counter help etc). I he was used to being the centre of attention with his W everywhere they went but I think he competed with me stlightly because he didn't like the fact I got more attention than him at times. He would get very jealous, at first I thought it was cute later I found it really annoying. Talk about double standards... Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 I can only tell you what his primary OW did, which attracted him. It started as an EA from viewing assorted emails. She stroked his ego constantly, promoting the negative aspects of his personality more and more, fueling the unhealthy side of him, making him feel justified for his "jerkside" tendencies. For example, when he would discuss firing someone, she would laugh and applaud his right as a senior exec to fire someone he didn't like. I do recall discussing this situation with him and not supporting him with the understanding that performance and other work negatives should drive his wish to dismiss. Personal feelings and abuse of power do not belong in the workplace. It was obviously an effective technique... She sounds like a real "winner" YIKES! Link to post Share on other sites
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted May 21, 2007 Author Share Posted May 21, 2007 fueling the unhealthy side of him, making him feel justified for his "jerkside" tendencies. Ugh. Encourage his other jerklike tendencies so that he would feel more justified to cheat with her. After all, cheating is extremly jerklike. Nice work on her part - manipulation to its finest. Link to post Share on other sites
sadbuttrue Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 Ugh. Encourage his other jerklike tendencies so that he would feel more justified to cheat with her. After all, cheating is extremly jerklike. Nice work on her part - manipulation to its finest. i am sorry, but i do not really believe that men are this stupid and so easily manipulated. maybe a few, but the majority i would say cheat because they a) want to, b) are truly unhappy in their current R, c) see it as a game and enjoy it as a pasttime, or d) fall in love with someone they are not married to. i am sure there are women who are fully capable of enticing a MM into their beds, but he doesnt go there unless he has his own reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 i am sure there are women who are fully capable of enticing a MM into their beds, but he doesnt go there unless he has his own reasons. Indeed, and any spouse who can only give, as a reason for infidelity, "I was enticed" is not taking responsibility for making a decision. SadandConfusedWA, I'm interested to know what is your interest in the original question... Are you just curious completely out of the blue, or does the issue of the 'better-looking-or-not" OW have a resonance somewhere in your own experience? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted May 21, 2007 Author Share Posted May 21, 2007 I really think that any man would cheat given the right person and the right opportunity. SadandConfusedWA, I'm interested to know what is your interest in the original question... Are you just curious completely out of the blue, or does the issue of the 'better-looking-or-not" OW have a resonance somewhere in your own experience? I would rather not say, I'm a pretty private person. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 I don't think every man would cheat given the right circumstances. If he has jerkside tendencies, then maybe. Cheating is separate from the relationship. It speaks about the man or woman within. How strong is your core? Now back on topic... Are OW better looking than the W? Like all walks of life, sometimes, sometimes not. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 I really think that any man would cheat given the right person and the right opportunity. I disagree, but at least this has just become a more interesting and personally connected discussion than addressing a theoretical, statistical issue of how many OW's are better looking... I would rather not say, I'm a pretty private person. But we're anonymous here - this is where you can let it go. It's completely up to you, but I'm much more interested in you as a person (even anonymously) than in disconnected, impersonal theories. Never mind, I already know the answer to my own question. I was hoping someone is going to have an intelligent discussion about this issue with me, but once again, I overestimate loveshack. Setting aside your dismissive comment, I bet people would be more interested in investing their personal experiences if you did the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Tuesday Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 The xOW looks just like the girl next door... if you happen to live next door to Alcolholics Annonymous. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 Indeed, and any spouse who can only give, as a reason for infidelity, "I was enticed" is not taking responsibility for making a decision. To clarify this, yes, he did admit responsibility for his actions too but it was too little, too late. In order to trust someone again, you need to feel that they are strong enough to resist another opportunist or opportunity. If the comfort level isn't there, the trust doesn't return. Core rot cannot be fixed by the betrayed spouse and is simply not worth the additional heartache. Now, back on topic once more, it truly can be a situation of "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", in relation to OWs versus BWs. In my situation, the beholder is free to view as much beauty as he so desires. Be careful what you wish for... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 Ugh. Encourage his other jerklike tendencies so that he would feel more justified to cheat with her. After all, cheating is extremly jerklike. Nice work on her part - manipulation to its finest. It is manipulation at its finest... The guy is either not swift enough to see what she's doing or he's waiting for the first opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 I really think that any man would cheat given the right person and the right opportunity. I would rather not say, I'm a pretty private person. with this statement. There was a survey on that, I will look for it.. they interviewed 100 men... 99 said they would if they knew they would never get caught... the other one... was a liar IMO...LOL I have tested that theory... more than once... they always failed. Link to post Share on other sites
Impudent Oyster Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 Camilla/Diana situation was an exception as are some of the others that have posted in this thread. There are always going to be exceptions. . Baloney, there are too many "exceptions" out there for you to dismiss them as such. My husband's OW was beautiful, but not as beautiful as I am (sorry, I know how that sounds, I'm STILL modeling). It's got nothing to do with looks, it's got to do with how OW makes MM feel, usually by flattery and blowing smoke up his a$$. Sounds to me like you're looking for excuses. Link to post Share on other sites
Jinxx Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 Other than XMM's wife being a few years older than me, we look pretty much alike to be sisters. I've been mistaken many times in the past as his wife, that is how similar we look. So I guess we are about the same in the looks department. Link to post Share on other sites
smartgirl Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 Looks rarely have much to do with it - there are exceptions to that, of course - but I think it has more to do with how OW makes MM feel about himself than any particular physical attraction he has for her. Any woman can be a good listener and hand out great ego strokes/sex/blowjobs/kink. That's more or less what he is looking for, and a woman doesn't have to be particularly attractive for that to happen. LB is dead on as usual. The thing that made my H so attracted to his OW was how it made him feel to be pursued by another woman. She was reasonably attractive, more below the neck than above, but having her come after him made HIM feel attractive and desirable. A wife will always be perceived as having a self interest in making her husband feel good. Often, they find the attentions of another woman more "valuable" because theoretically she has no reason to do so other than his being irresistible to her. That just makes a man's head explode and even if she is lacking qualities of his wife in many ways, he begins to view the OW as more appealing. As my H described it, there has to be a baseline of physical attraction for the thing to get started, but it is the way the attention and pursuit makes him feel that really hits the ignition. That is a kind of validation of attractiveness a man can't get from his wife no matter how good she treats him. The really smart man sees that for what it is - a temporary high - and doesn't take the bait. I think there might be two or three of them out there. If a wife has let herself go, that can make a man feel that she doesn't think he is worth keeping herself up for and make him feel unloved. Someone comes along who seems willing to do anything for him and that is very appealing. Sort of about looks, but there is something deeper there. We are now 13 months post d-day. The A had already devolved from sex to a lingering EA by the time I found out. Why? The longer they were together the good feelings from being wanted by her began to fade and there was nothing else in their relationship to fill the void. He began to see that they had nothing in common and were not suited to each other at all. Whereas he and I are in sync in everything. So all this is by way of saying that looks can play a role, but it is not the reason by itself. It is really all the emotional triggers of feeling validated, wanted, loved and desired that draw a man to another woman. Link to post Share on other sites
hardcase Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 I'm just wondering if MM is more likely to cheat if his wife has let herself go and I don't mean just getting older, but gaining large amounts of weight, not taking care of what she wears etc. Please don't flame me, I'm genuinly curious since men are very visual if that is a factor in cheating. Are you planning on going out and scouting MM with fat wives? No flame...just a joke. But if you are an OW, these aren't the kinds of questions you should be asking...the questions you should be asking are, "can someone help me break away from my MM" Not wondering if you are hotter than his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
hardcase Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 I am relaxed. I'm just sick and tired of men cheating because a) their wives just don't understand them b) they're bored with their sex life at home c) they don't feel appreciated I can relate to all of those up there...but never once cheated and never would. d) their wives let themselves go Well..my wife didn't let herself go...but she isn't what she use to be. Doesn't matter to me...she is just as beautiful today as she was when we met in my opinion. In my opinion, they're all just losers and so are the women they're involved with. I know my family was destroyed by my husband's affair. Well...I'm trying to not let my wife's unfaithfullness destroy ours..but its damn hard. And yes, my husband is a dirty cheater and liar who makes me want to puke ... especially after I saw what he was screwing. In my husband's case, he claims she "just wouldn't leave him alone." Yeah, whatever. Oh thats a new one. He f#cked her just to get her off his back. What?...does he think you are stupid or something...what a dork. And, if you're not an "OW" why would you even ask that question? Good question...only other thing I can think of is she is a wife and is worried about her appearance. And if thats the case, all I can say is, if you have a man worth his salt...he'll love you no matter what. Link to post Share on other sites
hardcase Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 Christie Brinkley is, IMO, one of the most beautiful women on the planet and her dopey husband screwed a teenaged nobody who couldn't hold a candle to Christie. No kidding...CB looks as good now as when she was 20! Link to post Share on other sites
hardcase Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 Hi, In my case I believe I was better looking than the MM's wife. Ok I'm confused...didn't you say in another post that you despise cheaters and cheating? I'm genuinly curious since men are very visual if that is a factor in cheating. I think the attraction helped, but the reason why he cheated was because I was such a pest about being with him, in my opinion. If it was all up to him it probably wouldn't have happened. Ariadne __________________ ♥ ~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~ ♥ Link to post Share on other sites
hardcase Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 I don't know. If I was ever cheated on I would hope it was someone who's ugly. Sorry I'm just being honest. At least that way you could "you f#%^d that??" and laugh at him. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 Ok I'm confused...didn't you say in another post that you despise cheaters and cheating? Nope, never said that. Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
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