KaneNAbel Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 Hey all, A recent thread gave me a great idea for a new thread. Here's the one I am talking about. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1195902#post1195902 Okay, so my idea is this: Since I'm sure that most men that are posting on this site have displayed some sort of doormat-esque behavior for one reason or another (I too am guilty of this I believe) and it it ultimately was a probably the big reason for the demise of the relationships, I wanted to see if the ladies will post personal examples of their past mens' doormat behavior. I am hoping that this will give myself as well as a lot of other curious individuals using this site a great deal of insight as well as a sense of self awareness. Looking forward to your stories and/or examples!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 Hey all, A recent thread gave me a great idea for a new thread. Here's the one I am talking about. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1195902#post1195902 Okay, so my idea is this: Since I'm sure that most men that are posting on this site have displayed some sort of doormat-esque behavior for one reason or another (I too am guilty of this I believe) and it it ultimately was a probably the big reason for the demise of the relationships, I wanted to see if the ladies will post personal examples of their past mens' doormat behavior. I am hoping that this will give myself as well as a lot of other curious individuals using this site a great deal of insight as well as a sense of self awareness. Looking forward to your stories and/or examples!!! ...any stories or examples.. because I have absolutely no patience with doormat-esque behaviour (men or women) so I would never date a doormat-esque guy... it is such a huge turn-off that there would be no story to tell...LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Author KaneNAbel Posted May 22, 2007 Author Share Posted May 22, 2007 Okay, fair enough.... However, what did they do to display this doormat behavior? Here's my mistake. I got into a relationship with a girl who got out of a 3 year relationship just a month after the breakup. I didn't know what was going on with the situation until it was too late. I was emotionally hooked. So I stayed. She couldn't stop talking to the guy. And made excuses for not being able to. As for me, I made the mistake (some might say making the mistake was staying around with all this drama in the first place) by trying to see if our relationship could grow 'organically' while she 'naturally' got over the old situation. BIG MISTAKE. LESSON LEARNED AND THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN. Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 I think you are probably a lot like me in that I tend to get attached pretty quickly, even if the guy isn't right for me. I have been talking to a counselor about this and it seems to be helping some. I think something you can do is what I'm trying to do now: Don't focus on anything too far into the future. If you have a good time on a date with a girl, then you had a good time on a date with a girl. It doesn't mean that in a few weeks you'll be exclusive, or that in a month or two she'll be your girlfriend. I tend to do that...if I have a really great night with someone, I start thinking of all the what ifs and what could bes. Also, and this is huge for me anyway, but if someone consistently makes you unhappy, then it's possible no matter how great he or she is, that they just aren't right for you. I require a certain amount of loyalty and dedication and attention. Some people might think I'm high maintenance. And that's okay...I just have to find someone who fills my needs just as much as I fill his...get it? I hope that helps...not sure if it's exactly what you're looking for. For specific guy behavior...I know I prefer a guy who can hold his own in conversations, like if I invite him to a party, he should be able to talk with my friends and make acquaintances even if I'm not right by his side every second. This one guy came to a NYE party with me one year, and he couldn't stand when I'd go outside to talk to other friends and stuff. He followed me around like a lost puppy. It was awful and I broke up with him the next day. Link to post Share on other sites
polywog Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 I think you're being too hard on yourself to call yourself a doormat. I think you were just being hopeful in a tough situation, which did not lend itself to a healthy beginning. Live and learn, but don't be hard on yourself, please! Link to post Share on other sites
Tangerina Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 My first 2 serious relationships were with totally controlling *******s. After that I dated a guy who had a drinking problem and started telling me he loved me and that I was the only good thing in his life after 2 weeks. He was sweet but I had to dump him. Now I date someone who treats me as an equal and has opinions about things but doesn't put mine down beyond friendly disagreement. That's the best one. Link to post Share on other sites
McFadden Posted May 26, 2007 Share Posted May 26, 2007 I would just like a doormatesque guy (or a few), where do I get one of those? Usually I'm the doormat. Link to post Share on other sites
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