alexa137 Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 ok--me again--wait to see of bf would change about spending time with or make a decision to leave me alone--nothing! so one morning last week i looked at his cell phone while in shower--noticed a name i never heard of tried to see # came up secret--hmmmm...ok so few days later cell bill came(his) i just had to see it! 26 pages--over 100 to the same #, i started to get suspicious-call the # girl answered--went to pay phone to call again told her that the guy shes messing with has a girlfriend and he lives with her and they are together everynight for over a year-she says how do you know etc...hangs up...i was upset--decided to really look at bill gets worse--for the whole month of that bill he called her sometimes 10-17 times a day! i was furious! i treated him mean that night--didnt bring it up just little hints like hope ur not doing anything etc.. next morning he calls me like 10 times i didnt answer he wanted 2 talk i said later-while investigating i forgot to cover all my tracks--he says that when he got home he went to use home phone & noticed i called her number(blocked) i forgot tp make another call! messed up there--anyways i denied it anyways--denied it all day--talked after arguing and he says whoever you or someone else it calling its the wrong person--youve got the wrong person-of whatever i need to stop bcause they want to hurt me etc..that the person i called boyfriend told him(?) and that he will finf out more later on that night when he sees him--so i cover those tracks bcause i used pay phone and then my old cell phone which # i changed and its marked private--so i still denied calls--sais he moving out--he didnt that night-texted me wanting to talk at 9pm meet him at apt. talked a little-i didnt have much 2 say--then drank and had crazy wild sex til 2am--sat he goes on way so do i-saw him and jeep few times in the area--called each other like normal for little stupid things--so after hours go by i text him no answer call no answer--left vm nothing--so i rode by his brothers no jeep-not at his dads---says he was on his way home--didnt cross him anyways he came home watched movie with me and fell asleep on couch--sun went seperate ways--i got into his safe and got the bill before the other one! same scernario! calls to same girl, sometimes 10,20.45 mins! i was like something is going on! texted him about it etc told him to tell truth--if hes cheating leave me alone everything i can say! denies it--told him call her or i will! he was out with family--well i went to payphone & called! said look you can have him-if he cheated on me he will cheat on you! she says they have been messing around since february and that he doesnt like me and to get over it! that he only stays with me bcause he has nowhere else to go! talk about going crazy! i tried calling him no answer left nast vm's--went to the apartment & threw everything from closet to the downstairs it was a mess--kept trying 2 call him--finally answered told him off! he says nothing happened--blah blah blah--he gets here and we start arguing pushing crying saying mean stuff--i said how could u do this to me the worst thing i told you not to do is cheat--you should have left me first--get out! he was so mad i got cell phone info(prvacy) shouldnt have to hide anything i dont think--theres so much more--he packed up but didnt take it all of course--supposed to today--and give key back--went to live with brother--oh and here to find out the girl is his best friends sister! and i know him before bf! amazing i thought he was different! so he says nothing happened he didnt cheat he never did anything behind my back(yelling at me) told him to swear on his father life(since hes the most imp pereson_ he did--when i bring it up he gets mad and doesnt want to talk-says he loves me to death and doesnt want to hurt me--said just leave me alone i dont want to be 2nd or other girl--alot more was said-but he also says"it wasnt like that" so i ask so how was it like? he cant talk! i dont know! i dont think he will ever leave me alone! i love him and tried but i just cant deal with it--i dont know what to beleive--gave him an ultimatum--IF he loves me and cares and wants this to work out and he didnt cheat and wants me to believe him he has to prove it--by calling her 3 way or something--no answer on that one i know everyone wants me to leave him and thats you all say hes a loser--but i love him deeply and i know he does to--i cant leave him alone until he leaves me alon--he doesnt want to see me with someone and i dont want to see him with someone else-- Link to post Share on other sites
littlepiggy1 Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 Your relationship is already over. It was over the minute he decided to cheat on you. Right now, it sounds like you are still having trouble accepting this--denial, rationalizations, etc. The sooner you come to accept that your relationship is no more, the sooner you can get him out of your life and begin the arduous healing process. The question now is how long you chose to prolong things by remaining in denial. Link to post Share on other sites
princessjulieanne Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 Best revenge possible would be to let the other bitch have him, he cheats with you he'll cheat on you..she deserves the rotten snake...you deserve much better. Link to post Share on other sites
Limerent Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 he was so mad i got cell phone info(prvacy) And so what? What about the months upon months of cheating, lies and secrets he put you through? he doesnt want to see me with someone and i dont want to see him with someone else-- And thats all it is really...there is no love and respect in this relationship anymore. It basically boils down to possession and ownership-You both feel as if you own each other. Its similar to that one kid that never liked to share his toys- He didnt even want that one toy until another kid picked it up to play with it...then suddenly, that toy became the most important toy in the world. I know you are hurting so much now, and whether or not you realize it, it will get better....get him out of your life, before he poisons your heart, head, soul and body for good. You will love again. Best revenge possible would be to let the other bitch have him, he cheats with you he'll cheat on you..she deserves the rotten snake...you deserve much better. I agree. Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted May 27, 2007 Share Posted May 27, 2007 Way to much Drama. You say he "loves you" you "know it"... please, he's proven himself to be a player. Cut ties and regain your self esteem! Link to post Share on other sites
justagirliegirl Posted May 27, 2007 Share Posted May 27, 2007 He is cheating and he is lying about it. Let the other girl deal with his rotten cheating ways. Your relationship is over. Pack up the rest of his junk and take it to his sisters or wherever and leave it. Change the locks on your doors. Go get tested for STDs. Be glad this rotten snake is out of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted May 27, 2007 Author Share Posted May 27, 2007 he says they were just talking on the phone nothing else--went to get tested for stds--he wont leave me alone--being so nice and sweet giving me money, taking me to dinner, lots of kisses and hugs everything i wasnt getting fora month--i figure i told him what comes around goes around and what happens in the dark will eventually come to light--i'm just testing him for now--i told him if i ever found out you lied it will be hell for and alot of other people and i already started some!!! Link to post Share on other sites
justagirliegirl Posted May 27, 2007 Share Posted May 27, 2007 Of course he is being nice. He doesn't want to have to move out. I'm not sure how much more evidence you need. You saw the phone bills with heaps of calls to her. You called her up and she told you she was with him since early this year. Has he done the 3 way call with the 3 of you on the phone yet? I would at least force him to do that. Is her number still in his phone? Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted May 27, 2007 Author Share Posted May 27, 2007 Oh He Moved Out Last Sunday And Gave Me Back The Key What A Relief! Its A Weird Thing-they Grew Up Together(its His Best Friends Sister) So I Am Thinking Shes Probably Younger, They Lived Out Here With Their Mother A Long Time Ago But Dont Remember Her--so Anyways They Talked On The Phone A Couple Of Weeks And Then All Of A Sudden From March 23-april 3 When Everything Was Cool Between Us No Calls! Then Started Up Again--like She Was The Person He Called When He Couldnt Communicate With Me--i Dont Know--i Still Dont Believe Him Completely--i Figure It Will Come Out Eventually And Then................... He Knows I Dont Trust Him And Will Always Bring It Up When We Fight And Now He Takes Me For Rides,asking About House Shopping And Marriage And Baby!?!?!!? I'm Just Taking It All In But Watching My Back Also--still Investigating-but Nothing Now Of Course--either She Cut Him Off Or He Realizes He F***ed Big Time And Is Trying To Make Up For It Which He Said Last Night That Hees Trying So Hard To Be Together And Make It Work Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted May 30, 2007 Author Share Posted May 30, 2007 well the past week has been like the first month we met--just great--but i still have doubts and today gave him my last letter bcause he has been talking about getting a house and marriage so i basically told him that if you are serious since thats a very big step and you want me to be serious he needs to 3 way a call or meet with her somehow to prove to me that nothing happened--i cant live my life everyday thinking you did something with her and it denying it--of course now hes mad and wants me to break up with me==i told him he shouldnt be mad out yourseld in my place! for real! so telling him were through unless he does that--he says he doesnt want to look back and that he just wants to go forward so i told him 156 calls to her! i counted them up from his phone bill--he got mad again and said i found them illegally--hung up pissed off which i didnt want to happen i told him i would call people and i didnt care why is he so mad? and why cant he just prove it somehow? and the other girl who is supposedly old friend with?? why doesnt she speak? ive thought about calling or texting her all week--ive left it alone for over a week now but i cant live everyday wondering i just gotta know! Link to post Share on other sites
LovesJim55 Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 Sounds like he is just mad he got caught. An innocent man would have no issue with you letting you talk to this girl. Link to post Share on other sites
InsanityImpaired Posted May 30, 2007 Share Posted May 30, 2007 156 calls? That rules out any explanation that she is psycho, stalking him et cetera. Who would willingly call his stalker? So even if she is lying about being with him since the start of the year, his behavior is inexplicable - and thus the explanation that he is cheating is perfectly justified. As for the angry part, he is angry because he got discovered, and cannot refute the accusations. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted May 30, 2007 Author Share Posted May 30, 2007 well he just admited it-that it happened once a few months ago==when we were having big problems but thats beside the point-=we werw just diring diriving around to pick up my car from shop and argued and fought threteaned me, spit on me i punched him in the face, he broke his phone was gonna throw mine--took my wallet--told me he was sorry and would marry me today! i told him no--he said if i leave him he will kill me etc i finally got my car and he went back to work--thanks god he doesnt have my key! im crying like never before told him thats the worst thing--he said it wasnt even good sex--but i dont undrstnad we had sex everynight--he said he used a condom--i bet in the last 6 months weve only missed 3-4 days--how could he? thats the most disgusting thing--i couldnt be with him he wants me to forgive him but i dont think i can--i will think of him doing it to her everything hes with me! i dont have to forgive him! he violated my body etc// and i did everything to him! and we were so intimate! ive never dont half the stuff i did with him with anyone else--im not gonna ramble on im just so hurt and disapointed i want to leave and die Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted June 3, 2007 Author Share Posted June 3, 2007 well since he finally admitted to cheating so much drama and its not the same--i am always thinking what did they do how long did it last- i decided not to call the other girl anymore bcause i just couldnt hear it anymore and wasnt sure who to believe sinve my bf has been saying that he told her to leave him alone a few weeks ago--i tried so hard to be somewhat nice to him thurs and fri since he promised me $$ and i think i deserve it and will try to take as much as i can! so fri he gave me $100 and spent like over $200 getting a hotel room with a jacuzzi and dinner and breakfast--well bfore we got to the room the other bitche decided to put us through a chase around town(we were in a jeep her in a car!) went over cementetc... lost her in an alley when i told him to turn off lights and go thru one way street--luckily the hotel was across town in the boonies! it was an ok night there--got down on one knee and proposed to me blah blah blah--i just dont know i dont think i can ever forgive and forget and i cry everyday all the time---well got home sat morning to find my car was keyed everywhere! i told him he better take care of that crazy bitch--she admitted it i called the police and filed charges and even filed restraning order on her from coming to my apartment etc.. he doesnt know i have to go to court tues--he says hes gonna pay for the damage! damn right! that is personal property and she shouldnt have messed with my car! his yeah! now hes scared that i am going to go out and cheat! oh boy is he worried! all of sudden now he wants to be the way i wanted him to for so many months by being around, not having a problem telling me whre he is, and taking me around his family! big change! but i said it might be too late when i mention that i am not sure if i can keep going on like this he gets really mad says im not leaving him! i really dont think he will leave me alone its so hard bcause i do love him buy betrayal is such a big mistake Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 I think you could really get a lot of benefit from talking to a counselor.. someone with the education to help you sort out how your feeling and what you want in a partner. You're going through so much right now, and you shouldn't have to shoulder this on your own. I hate to break this to you, but your bf is abusive. As soon as he knows you forgive him, he'll go right back to the old ways. Threatening to kill you if you leave is... it's wrong. Your relationship is highly toxic to both of you. Ps. He's lying about how often he was with the other girl. The trick is to cop to a lessor felony to get away with the bigger scam. He's scamming you girl. I even gave that lie about "it was only once" to my ex and he bought it hook line and sinker. You want to believe it was only once. He conned you again girl. He'll tell you half a truth so you won't question the real truth. All I can really advise you on is.. Get out of the relationship. And if you won't do that, then at the very least talk to a counselor. There's so much going on in your life that you need to take a moment to just focus on you, and how you feel, and what you really want in life. Not if you want this guy, but where do you see yourself in 10 years and what type of person do you want by your side for those years. I highly doubt your answer would be "this guy" if his idea of monogamous means not telling you about the numerous sexual encounters with another woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted June 4, 2007 Author Share Posted June 4, 2007 i have been going to counseling since march the first time we started having problems when i checked his cell phone bill etc............it helps a very little bit--i go to see a dr and get evaluation next week for depression and anxiety Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 Alexa, Do yourself a huge favor and be gone with this man. You already have all the information you need. It hurts, I get that, but he's already proven that he's "just not that into you". I know this because my ex pulled the same type crap. He was talking to other women at 4am on IM or the phone and said they were just friends or he didnt want to date them, etc. I'm sorry but if youre content with your situation, you dont need to be talking to others in the middle of the night. He's proven to you that you dont matter enough for him to be faithful. Even IF he does "love you", is it all the love you deserve? I suspect it's not even one one hundreth of what you'd deserve. Do yourself a huge favor and walk away from this man, take time to heal, and then you'll eventually find someone who actually is appreciative of you and the relationship. This is what I'm doing now with my ex. I'm not going to sit here and claim it's easy, it won't be, but would you really be happy in a relationship forever when you had to be insecure enough to check his phone? I checked his phone too, and I HATED that I got that insecure as to be that way. I don't want or need someone that makes me feel that way. He should add to my life, not make it more complicated. Please, do right by yourself, and cut off this man and try to move forward. Link to post Share on other sites
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