"treat them mean keep them keen"

[MissKissNada_Gal]

"Treat them mean keep them Keen"?

who agrees with this?

do guys really go by this saying? treat u with some meanness and space and youll come back for more?.....

 

wut about...

[COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]"Treat them mean they will get bored and move on" [/FONT][/COLOR]

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[COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] The quote was made by Unidentified, (giving him/her credit)[/FONT][/COLOR]

[COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]for the record he/she made this may 21st 2007.[/FONT][/COLOR]

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[2ndIINone]

treat em' mean??? No, bad idea... but the defination of 'mean' in this phrase should be defined.

 

My idea of mean is.... verbal abuse, physical... cheating, lying....etc...

 

Not sure what you're 'getting at'...???

 

A person should have their own life... and not let their life revolve around their SO's life. Specially in the in the first six months of dating.

 

Doesn't return every phonecall? Doesn't accept every proposed date? Sometimes late? Doesn't call that often? Is this being mean? or having a life of his/her own?

[Lizzie60]

treat u with some meanness and space and youll come back for more?

 

this expression means be confident and independant and he'll be at your feet... and it does work! I don't see it as being 'mean' like 'nasty' that wouldn't work for me...

 

I can't stand doormats (female or male).

[2ndIINone]

this expression means be confident and independant and he'll be at your feet

ugh... and even THAT get's old after awhile. Some women AND men take it a little too far.

[D-Lish]

I think at the bottom of this- is the necessity that one needs to respect themselves enough to be assertive with their wants, needs and boundaries in a relationship.

 

Being a b*tch isn't going to have a man falling at your feet. However- standing up for yourself, showing respect and demanding it in return is an attractive quality.

[MissKissNada_Gal]

I think at the bottom of this- is the necessity that one needs to respect themselves enough to be assertive with their wants, needs and boundaries in a relationship.

 

Being a b*tch isn't going to have a man falling at your feet. However- standing up for yourself, showing respect and demanding it in return is an attractive quality.

men/guys does this saying go for any of you?

[D-Lish]

lol- you don't trust my insight?

Just kidding.

 

I'll give you an example from past and present dating experiences.

 

first: being a b*tch. Well, I've done that- mostly because I didn't know how to ask for what I wanted out of my partner. I'd get pissy because my guy couldn't read my mind and know what I wanted- or didn't want. So instead of addressing the issues, I'd just punish him with silence or cutting remarks. Well, I lost a couple really good guys with that kind of behaviour. maybe at first they were attracted to the fiesty-ness... but I eventually wore out their patience and got dumped.

 

second: I'm a little older and a little wiser now....and have learned from my mistakes. I've been dating a lot recently- especially since my divorce. And what I have found is that when someone does something I don't like- I tell them flat out...."look, I'm not okay with what you did or said...etc".

 

This direct approach works much better. Address the problem as soon as it happens- and if the person still doesn't show respect- I move on.

I've been seeing someone who is a bit of a free spirit. He doesn't always call when he says he will- and he sometimes doesn't follow through with plans. So- I just told him that he needed to respect me enough to call when he says he will, and if he has to break plans that he needs to let me know. That is standing up for oneself. Telling them what you want and what you need in order to remain in the relationship.

 

Since addressing that issue with him- when he realized I was going to walk away if he didn't shape up.... he has done a turn around. Now he is the one making the effort, following through with our plans- and he is treating me much better. That is establishing boundaries- saying "hey, this is what I am okay with- and this is what I am not okay with".

 

It seems to be working. If someone can't show you respect, you have to be prepared to walk- that is the attitude that tells someone you won't be a doormat. But we don't have to be nasty to pull that off.

 

It's more about being confident and assertive.

[MissKissNada_Gal]

lol- you don't trust my insight?

Just kidding.

 

I'll give you an example from past and present dating experiences.

 

first: being a b*tch. Well, I've done that- mostly because I didn't know how to ask for what I wanted out of my partner. I'd get pissy because my guy couldn't read my mind and know what I wanted- or didn't want. So instead of addressing the issues, I'd just punish him with silence or cutting remarks. Well, I lost a couple really good guys with that kind of behaviour. maybe at first they were attracted to the fiesty-ness... but I eventually wore out their patience and got dumped.

 

second: I'm a little older and a little wiser now....and have learned from my mistakes. I've been dating a lot recently- especially since my divorce. And what I have found is that when someone does something I don't like- I tell them flat out...."look, I'm not okay with what you did or said...etc".

 

This direct approach works much better. Address the problem as soon as it happens- and if the person still doesn't show respect- I move on.

I've been seeing someone who is a bit of a free spirit. He doesn't always call when he says he will- and he sometimes doesn't follow through with plans. So- I just told him that he needed to respect me enough to call when he says he will, and if he has to break plans that he needs to let me know. That is standing up for oneself. Telling them what you want and what you need in order to remain in the relationship.

 

Since addressing that issue with him- when he realized I was going to walk away if he didn't shape up.... he has done a turn around. Now he is the one making the effort, following through with our plans- and he is treating me much better. That is establishing boundaries- saying "hey, this is what I am okay with- and this is what I am not okay with".

 

It seems to be working. If someone can't show you respect, you have to be prepared to walk- that is the attitude that tells someone you won't be a doormat. But we don't have to be nasty to pull that off.

 

It's more about being confident and assertive.

big thanks for taking the time to care about my "silly questions" as some ppl mite say. sigh.

[Topper]

Funny I had this conversation last night with a new friend. She is a very insightful woman. One of the things that always goes on in an male female relationship is that men speak one language and woman another. we think we are saying one thing they hear another. Woman and men need to learn how to really communicate with each other.

Personally I think these games of being mean or cold to get pursued or to put yourself in a superior position are a waist of time. A little honesty and direct communication goes along way.

[polywog]

I don't have a mean bone in my body when it comes to men and dogs (or women, or any animal). But I ain't no doormat, either. Does that make me "mean"?

[GregsBad]

lol- you don't trust my insight?

Just kidding.

 

I'll give you an example from past and present dating experiences.

 

first: being a b*tch. Well, I've done that- mostly because I didn't know how to ask for what I wanted out of my partner. I'd get pissy because my guy couldn't read my mind and know what I wanted- or didn't want. So instead of addressing the issues, I'd just punish him with silence or cutting remarks. Well, I lost a couple really good guys with that kind of behaviour. maybe at first they were attracted to the fiesty-ness... but I eventually wore out their patience and got dumped.

 

second: I'm a little older and a little wiser now....and have learned from my mistakes. I've been dating a lot recently- especially since my divorce. And what I have found is that when someone does something I don't like- I tell them flat out...."look, I'm not okay with what you did or said...etc".

 

This direct approach works much better. Address the problem as soon as it happens- and if the person still doesn't show respect- I move on.

I've been seeing someone who is a bit of a free spirit. He doesn't always call when he says he will- and he sometimes doesn't follow through with plans. So- I just told him that he needed to respect me enough to call when he says he will, and if he has to break plans that he needs to let me know. That is standing up for oneself. Telling them what you want and what you need in order to remain in the relationship.

 

Since addressing that issue with him- when he realized I was going to walk away if he didn't shape up.... he has done a turn around. Now he is the one making the effort, following through with our plans- and he is treating me much better. That is establishing boundaries- saying "hey, this is what I am okay with- and this is what I am not okay with".

 

It seems to be working. If someone can't show you respect, you have to be prepared to walk- that is the attitude that tells someone you won't be a doormat. But we don't have to be nasty to pull that off.

 

It's more about being confident and assertive.

 

D-Lish,

 

Great post - I really appreciate this.

 

I think some people pretend to be mean, because they want what you want (I want it too) but they heven't yet figured out how to communicate as well as what you've said here.

 

Thanks!

[Woggle]

I don't think that you have to treat women mean but you shouldn't be afraid to put her in check if she is disrespecting you. In order for a relationship to work a woman has to respect you and for the most part women don't respect a doormat. If a woman is in the wrong don't be afraid to tell her so and if she keeps mistreating a man he should decide it is better to be alone than stuck with her.

[green-eyed beauty]

I don't think that you have to treat women mean but you shouldn't be afraid to put her in check if she is disrespecting you. In order for a relationship to work a woman has to respect you and for the most part women don't respect a doormat. If a woman is in the wrong don't be afraid to tell her so and if she keeps mistreating a man he should decide it is better to be alone than stuck with her.

 

Basically, if you switch the sex in this scenario, you just paraphrased the book Why Men Love Bitches.

[Woggle]

Basically, if you switch the sex in this scenario, you just paraphrased the book Why Men Love Bitches.

 

I guess it is true but men need this advice more than women and by putting her in check I don't mean any type of violence. The best way to put a woman in check is just refuse to deal with her at all when she is crossing the line. I remember a male friend and I were at a table with a bunch of women and one of thoses women was his girlfriend at the time. The women go into a male bashing session and we signal each other to get up and leave the table to go to another place across the street. He ignored his girlfriend all night and the next day she was kissing his ass. That is what I mean by a man putting a woman in check.

[green-eyed beauty]

That's odd I never hear women just sitting around bashing men in general. I do hear relationship problems and frustrations. I guess it is my profession, teaching, and I associate with a lot in that profession that they just don't view humanity in that way. It is nice.

I would never kiss a guy's ass, so to speak, anyway. As well, I've never had a guy treat me the way you have said.

[Woggle]

That's odd I never hear women just sitting around bashing men in general. I do hear relationship problems and frustrations. I guess it is my profession, teaching, and I associate with a lot in that profession that they just don't view humanity in that way. It is nice.

I would never kiss a guy's ass, so to speak, anyway. As well, I've never had a guy treat me the way you have said.

 

Maybe it is because I deal with a lot of businesswomen who get off on trying to emasculate men. I work for the chamber of commerce so I know most of the business community in my area and there are many women who seem to strive to be powerful just so they can hold their power over men. There are many women who earn their position as well so don't think I am trying to smear all successful women. My friend at the time was dating one of these women and they like to get together and talk about how horrible men are but if a man says something back they will report him. That night we just left and he acted like she wasn't even there and it worked.

[alphamale]

Maybe it is because I deal with a lot of businesswomen who get off on trying to emasculate men.

yes i've personally seen this many times in the workplace. high-ranking females who treat men under them like dirt. many of these women are not married and don't have any kids and their work is their whole life.

[Woggle]

yes i've personally seen this many times in the workplace. high-ranking females who treat men under them like dirt. many of these women are not married and don't have any kids and their work is their whole life.

 

I am not intimidated by these women and I let them know it. Some women are like dogs where if you show fear they will go in for the kill but if you are not afraid of them and aren't impressed by them they will respect you. These type of women are always the ones that give me the most problems about paying their membership dues as well and if they don't pay I drop them from the chamber.

[green-eyed beauty]

yes i've personally seen this many times in the workplace. high-ranking females who treat men under them like dirt. many of these women are not married and don't have any kids and their work is their whole life.

 

Men take it that way, and exaggerate it I'm sure, because they don't like seeing a woman more successful than they are. Now other men in that position act the same way, by asserting authority and such, and he is respected by other men.

[Woggle]

Men take it that way, and exaggerate it I'm sure, because they don't like seeing a woman more successful than they are. Now other men in that position act the same way, by asserting authority and such, and he is respected by other men.

 

I know successful women who are not like that so it is not exaggerating and I don't like men who think it is good business practice to treat people like garbage. If people despise you it is very hard to get what you want done. I have had to set a few men straight who tried to take over my projects and boss everybody around. I have a few businesswomen who I have a very good professional relationship with so it is not all women but a certain type of woman.

[Trialbyfire]

"Treat them mean keep them Keen"?

who agrees with this?

do guys really go by this saying? treat u with some meanness and space and youll come back for more?.....

 

wut about...

"Treat them mean they will get bored and move on"

Why would anyone want to deliberately be mean to someone to keep them? It's one thing to have those PMS moments and another to continually abuse someone.

 

If anything I agree with the second quote more. After awhile of abuse by either gender, sooner or later people are going to bolt.

[DanielMadr]

Only possible reason sane man (not some submissive mommy seeking psycho) would like mean girl is they are easily dumped. You can tell them to f@ck off any minute without feeling any guilt or remorse. It is the same with jerks. When you dont want to really commit, marry and have children, you chat up a jerk or a bitch. You are constantly one leg out of "relatonship".

 

For your debate about gender issues. I dont care about it that much. It is mostly about what is the person made of. There is constant stream of azzholes of both genders through centuries.

 

Only think I do care about is when female is adopting only the worst male behaviour and easily gets away with it, because "she is woman after all".

 

If you dont behave like gentleman dont expect to be treated like one....the same goes for ladies.

[justagirliegirl]

Back years ago I did treat some guys like dirt. It was because I wasn't really into them. It seems like the worse I treated them, the more they came back for me and treated me better. They would jump through hoops for me.

 

Sad but true.

[Woggle]

I think the key to keeping a woman is to always leave her wanting more and always make it conditional. There are some guys that give their all to a woman and will continue givin their all no matter how bad she treats him and a woman loses respect for a man like that. Like I say time and time again respect is the number one ingredient in a woman's attraction to a man so when she loses respect for a man she no longer wants him. My wife knows that if being with her becomes too much drama I will leave and I will throw her out on the street if she cheats. My prenup says that the betrayed spouse gets the house so it is conitional with me. Most men today just let women walk all over them.

[DanielMadr]

Back years ago I did treat some guys like dirt. It was because I wasn't really into them. It seems like the worse I treated them, the more they came back for me and treated me better. They would jump through hoops for me.

 

Sad but true.

 

It was because they loved you or liked you already very much and thought they did something wrong. They probably wanted forgiveness.

 

When someone you care about says something bad to you you want him prove wrong. So you jump through hoops. Essential skill of saying to yourself "He/she is wrong about me but F@ck him/her anyway." is not easily obtained trait.

 

I can say it was pretty bad on your karma;)