I cheated on my wife, and i dont kno .....

[BurningPhoenix]

Its like all the stories you hear, I was drunk she was drunk and it happened. My wife and I havn't been getting along great lately. She was going to partys and drinking while i was at home alone, and it upset me. She had told me that things didnt feel the same anymore and crap like that, She was upset with me for checking her myspace and stuff like that. Ironic how what i was worried about her cheating on me i ended up cheating on her. Shes currently in new york right now for fleet week, Were both in the navy. and when i left back to california for a dew weeks untill she gets back to VA, she did cry and say she loved me and that she wasnt leaving me.

 

But thinks have been wierd and still are between me and my wife. But I LOVE MY WIFE WITH ALL MY HEART. Im 19 and shes 19 were young, and looking back probably to young but its to late for that now.

 

I've been told to tell her and ive been told not to tell her. I want to tell her but i know if i do it will be over, right now for sure since things are hard as it is. I can honestly say i would never have dont this crap to her if i was sober. I love my wife so much and this kills me, i cant stop thinking about it, and i feel like crap. I can honestly say i would never and could never do it again. I could be drunk as hell but i kno after feeling like this i could never do it again. I feel like vomiting everytime i think of it. But i know now to not drink in situtions like before. This was just a mistake a huge mistake, i have never cheated before and i dont know how, people can cheat multiple times on anyone, it makes me sick doing it once.

 

Am I a horrible person? I dont think im going to tell her right away maybe after i get back to VA and she gets back and we have our new house and things have settled down. Or maybe never. I just i cant lose her over this stupid mistake i made. When she went out and left me at home i layed in bed and cryed, and it wasnt like she left me at home once in awhile she went out for weeks and partied and stayed at her friends house. or something it hurt me alot and i dont know if what she did to me had something to do with what i did.

 

dont get me wrong tho my wife is a wonderfull person, well she was when we first got married not so much lately. but i still love her with all my heart and soul and im just dying inside right now.

 

Am i horrible what should i do how should i feel. I need some input please.

[whichwayisup]

You two need marriage counselling AND, you both need to grow up, stop getting drunk to the point you make stupid mistakes that you can't take back.

 

Together, you two need to grow together and be adults if you want to stay married.

 

My suggestion is, better yourself NOW. Get some counselling, figure out why you couldn't talk to her, and why you allowed yourself to cheat on her. Make boundries and lines that you won't cross, that way you won't be putting yourself IN a situation where something could happen with another woman.

[BurningPhoenix]

You two need marriage counselling AND, you both need to grow up, stop getting drunk to the point you make stupid mistakes that you can't take back.

 

Together, you two need to grow together and be adults if you want to stay married.

 

My suggestion is, better yourself NOW. Get some counselling, figure out why you couldn't talk to her, and why you allowed yourself to cheat on her. Make boundries and lines that you won't cross, that way you won't be putting yourself IN a situation where something could happen with another woman.

 

I have accually thought of us getting counceling. and i agree we do need to grow up. and i can honestly say i will never get into this kind of situation again. so do i just try and move on and get over this mistake and be the best husband i can be, or do i tell her and lose her forever.

[quankanne]

get to counselling first. Because when you do tell her about your affair, you're going to need to know *how* to present the information in a way that it won't totally incapacitate her. Kinda dumb to say, because that's not something you can soft-peddle, but with counselling you will be strong enough to tell her AND give her hope to work through this.

[LakesideDream]

You are in a real mess. Both of you are in the Navy serving your country at 19 years of age. I'm not sure of the wisdom of that. I enlisted in the Marines in '69 at the age of 18 and I realize now that that's just to young.

 

Both of you decided to marry, presumably at 18, that's also way to young. Not to mention the fact that you are both drinking heavily at 19, which isn't legal, and yes I understand the contridiction of being able to fight and die, but not drink when you are not yet 21. I hope your CO's don't find out about the drinking.

 

My only advice is to take everything two steps slow. Don't rush into anymore questionable situations. Stay away from drunken parties, and honor your marriage vows. You two have been rushing into everything head first. It's time to slow down.

 

Be careful and safe, the bad guys are everywhere. God's speed and good luck.

[whichwayisup]

I have accually thought of us getting counceling. and i agree we do need to grow up. and i can honestly say i will never get into this kind of situation again. so do i just try and move on and get over this mistake and be the best husband i can be, or do i tell her and lose her forever.

 

Yup, I'm glad to see that you're willing to put in the effort and do some changing. Even if your marriage doesn't workout, you'll learn about yourself and learn how to stick to boundries and rules.

 

You have to tell her the truth, you can't NOT tell her. If she finds out from someone else, it will be worse. She also has a say in whether or not she wants to stay married to you.

 

Your actions from now count, so back up your words in actions too, MAKE that committment to gain your wife's love, respect and trust again. It won't be easy, so don't give up.