How to deal?

[soulseeker]

I started dating a really wonderful guy about a little over a month before he left to go home for the summer. We didnt really say, "let's stay together over the summer," but I told him I wanted to pick up where we left off when he got back. He agreed. The night before he left, he made several references to us doing stuff when he got back, and references to me as his gf.

 

Since he left, we have talked quite a bit on the phone, nearly everyday. Thing is, I am not a phone person. I really dislike sitting there talking about what happened that day. And I dont want to have serious conversations over the phone because you miss so much that way, i.e. body language, etc. I feel like it can take them steam out of a relationship (whatever it is we are).

 

While he was here, we had so much fun just learning about eachother through experiences and talking, and that is how I want to learn about him and for him to learn about me. I am afraid that my loathing for the phone might kill what we have. I dont have fun talking on the phone in romantic relationships.

 

Anyone have any advice as to how to deal with this? Or to change my attitude. Maybe I am looking at this the wrong way? He will be back in August. And just to be clear, I am not looking to date anyone else. I see this guy as serious ltr potential. We really click in person, I am just not feeling it over the phone

[euronumber]

there are other means of communicating besides the phone; try email; just as you go through the day and there is something you want to share with your boyfriend, put it in an email; do that for a few days, like a compilation of your daily activities and then mail it to him; instant messenger is another way of communicating if the phone is not an option; regardless, keep it light and save the heavy stuff for in person meetings; you may 'learn' to enjoy phone conversations the more you do it; just tell your bf that the phone is your least favorite thing to use for communicating because of the lack of body language and all the non-verbal clues that are missing; still the nice thing is to hear his voice - try not to over analyze too much

[soulseeker]

Thanks for your advice. I guess I just need to tell him that the phone is my least favorite form of communication. In person, you have the luxury of the non verbal clues. Texting is not an option since niether one of us has free texting, but email is more my pace than the phone. It is nice to hear his voice, but again, I'm not one to call just to say "hey." Atleast not more than one a week.

 

I guess I just dont know how to get this across without seeming like I am not interested or that it has to be my way or the highway.

 

Also, this is potentially his first "serious" relationship and I am a bit older than him. I'm not sure how that matters, but I thought I would mention it.

[euronumber]

Try to commit yourself to 1 phone call a week; just communicate to whim about your phone apprehension - be open and frank that is the most important thing; also, in addition to email, you can also send cards and notes to show how much you care and miss him - good luck!!