zilverenvlinder Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 I was just curious as to how many people here would be open to the idea of a menage a trois with their significant other. Every woman I've discussed this with that I know would not do it, with the exception of my roommate. I, personally, am completely fine with the entire thing. I have a rule though... I get to pick the girl. I've come to find it is very difficult to find the other party, though. Last week, my man and I got a little drunk at the bar and took one of my co-workers back to his house. Unfortunately, she wasn't into my boyfriend. ;-P So, what would you ladies do/think if your gentleman friend asked you to participate? Link to post Share on other sites
Author zilverenvlinder Posted May 23, 2007 Author Share Posted May 23, 2007 (Also, unfortunately, that girl seems to think I'm a freak now and avoids me at work. Oops.) Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Hi, I am confused. This girl was not into your boyfriend so I assume she was into you so why does she think you are a freak? What am I missing? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 I had 2 on two different occasions (diff. guys each time). Never tried it with another woman ...yet. The first time was 'weird'... The guys were straight... so it was a lot of work for me.. LOL The second time was amazing... I really enjoyed it... we were relaxed... the guys were bi...two good friends and co-workers (paramedics) so it was a homosexual experience as well for them (my biggest fantasy). But if I was to have a 3-some with a couple... I would have to have some kind of chemistry with the female for sure...unless we don't touch each other and it's a 2 on 1 for the guy. It's a nice sexual experience if you want to try it. Link to post Share on other sites
Tangerina Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 I wouldn't want to do it with another girl and I wouldn't want to do it with someone I'm in a long term relationship with and I am not really the type who seeks out random hook-ups when I'm single, I don't think it is gonna happen for me, lol. It just isn't a big fantasy for me. Both of my exes made me feel guilty about not being into the idea. My take is, it is fine if they want to but not while they are dating me, I just don't want to do it. I have no problem with the concept morally, it just isn't something I'm into and I think it is not cool to put pressure on someone about any sex act they aren't into beyond the "Are you sure? You might like it..." sort of thing. Once you have established that they really aren't going to change their mind you either deal with it or leave, you don't hold it against them. Plus, my exes would never agree to a MMF sort of thing which is the only way I'd be interested. I also think it is dumb that guys feel it is perfectly reasonable to suggest a MFF and think you're uptight if you reject it (I'm not attracted to women in that way!!!) but think it is totally in their right to get totally indignant that you would even suggest they might want to do it with another man. DOUBLE STANDARD! When Dan Savage came to my school to talk he made a really good point... as a generalization, threesomes (within the context of a relationship, that is, the weird emotional stuff isn't that big of a problem if you are single) can be a healthy part of an adventurous couples sex life, but usually if the couple has been together for a few years and knows they are committed and comfortable with each other and are in it for the long haul it can be really cool with that level of trust and not cause problems. What is more often the case is the guy wants to break up and see other people but doesn't have the balls to do it and hurt their girlfriend so they want to bring another woman into the situation. That was definitely the case with my exes and in that sort of case I think it would just destroy the relationship. On the other hand, I should have just dumped them when I realized they didn't want to be with me... it's clearer to see that a year later, though. Luckily my current guy isn't into that stuff so there won't a conflict in that department. After he asked if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend I tried to ask him how he felt about exclusivity and threesomes... both my exes had felt fairly entitled to get something on the side but were too decent to do it, but they used it for guilt trips... and he was confused because it never occurred to him that he would see other people while he had a girlfriend.... which is totally how I feel even though I don't think there is anything wrong with open relationships.... The bottom line is that people who want to be non-monogamous should be with other people who feel the same way and people who want to be monogamous should be with other monogamists... and everyone should stop putting pressure on their SO to mold their sexuality to their own, there should be compromise without resentment, or maybe they just aren't compatible. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Never have, never will. While other people might be comfortable with this type of sexuality, it's not something I would want to do. If a guy were to ask me to participate, it would be our last date. So far I've never been asked so I must be giving the right signals... Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 If I were to partake in a threesome, I think it would have to be three people with no real relationship involved between any two. I know for myself, I would not be able to emotionally handle seeing my SO with another woman. It would tear me up even though I am very sure he is completely in love with me. Mentally I don't think I would be able to separate it from "us." I would have no interest in seeing two men together in any way. It's just not my thing at all. Why not proposition your roommate? Your coworker is probably uncomfortable and maybe she misread the signals. I think I would avoid including coworkers unless I had firm evidence they would be agreeable. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 In all faithfulness I've been curious about threesomes, but since I am single I would especially with females I dont know and I might never see again. It would be cool. Or with a dude. (no homo) but me and him would take turns tag-teaming that phat *ss. Who knows we might enjoy it. But in the context of a serious relationship I dont think it would work, someone would ger hurt. What happens when your boyfriend starts seeing the OW on the side while you at home, Or your wife starts having feelings for a woman? then what? So it's possibly okay if your single and unattached but a big no when your married, commited relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 If I were to partake in a threesome, I think it would have to be three people with no real relationship involved between any two. I know for myself, I would not be able to emotionally handle seeing my SO with another woman. It would tear me up even though I am very sure he is completely in love with me. Mentally I don't think I would be able to separate it from "us." I would have no interest in seeing two men together in any way. It's just not my thing at all. . ME too DDL. Wonderboy is more than enough for me. And I know he feels the same. I think if you are in a R, a threesome has potential to be very damaging. Link to post Share on other sites
dbtmarley Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 I would not do it with someone I was in an exclusive relationship with. If it was a woman I was just having sex with it would not be a problem. I am an old fashion type of man... to me a couple always meant two. One thing I do know that this is not something my fiance and I will ever be exploring together. See we have this little issue... we are both HIV positive. My ex wife now... this is still painful.. lol. Let me know she was bi curious by accidentally leaving a telephone number with a pin number and everything. What was it for? It was for this dating line thing you call into... i punched her pin in and her add came on. She was looking for a woman and a guy to get it on with!! OMG!! Talk about having your gut ripped out!! I was a glutton for punishment though and stayed with her an additional 7 years. Needless to say she gave me something that I can't get rid of... A gift that keeps on giving! Thomas (Who feels like a dick for straying way off topic) PS. Say no to threesomes! Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Hey lizzie, i want to ask u when you was with the two guys did you do a DP??? How did that work out for you? Link to post Share on other sites
Tangerina Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Thomas! That is such a sad story Link to post Share on other sites
Darth Vader Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 I would not do it with someone I was in an exclusive relationship with. If it was a woman I was just having sex with it would not be a problem. I am an old fashion type of man... to me a couple always meant two. One thing I do know that this is not something my fiance and I will ever be exploring together. See we have this little issue... we are both HIV positive. My ex wife now... this is still painful.. lol. Let me know she was bi curious by accidentally leaving a telephone number with a pin number and everything. What was it for? It was for this dating line thing you call into... i punched her pin in and her add came on. She was looking for a woman and a guy to get it on with!! OMG!! Talk about having your gut ripped out!! I was a glutton for punishment though and stayed with her an additional 7 years. Needless to say she gave me something that I can't get rid of... A gift that keeps on giving! Thomas (Who feels like a dick for straying way off topic) PS. Say no to threesomes! What does your now EX feel knowing that she just killed you, if she feels anything at all. I hope you don't mind me asking......... Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Like DDL, I would (and have) so long as there's no 'real relationship' between the people involved. I couldn't handle it if I even so much as romantically "liked" the guy(s) involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Jinxx Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 No thank you. Not my thing ever. Link to post Share on other sites
dbtmarley Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 What does your now EX feel knowing that she just killed you, if she feels anything at all. I hope you don't mind me asking......... I do not mind the question at all really. When I was first diagnosed I had this type of thought. That is that she had giving me something that would cause my death. Today I think differently... it was meant to be. I met a beautiful woman who also has many things in common with me other than my illness. We are both healthy and content. The only thing that burns me up is that my ex hurt my mental state with the deception and lies. I work constantly to realize my fears and my own insecurities. Yes... my ex shattered the confidence in myself that I once enjoyed, but I realize it and I own what is now mine. Next week I marry my best friend... for that I am grateful to my ex. For the doubts I sometimes have in myself because of her... I am angry! Ultimately it is her (ex's) guilt to deal with... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 Hey lizzie, i want to ask u when you was with the two guys did you do a DP??? How did that work out for you? I didn't do that... I am not too crazy about anal. Link to post Share on other sites
cn283 Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 I've always wanted to be a part of a threesome, but not while I or anyone else involved is in a relationship. I would be afraid it would make things weird. Link to post Share on other sites
GregsBad Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 I know you asked the girls, but I'm a guy and I hope I can add something worthwhile. I've done it with girls. It was great! I didn't care about either of them. But if I cared for another girl and saw her with another guy ... I could NEVER get past it. So I assume that a girl who cared for me could NEVER really be OK with seeing me between the legs of one of her friends. It would be OVER - OVER. Either way. There is no way I'd agree - if it was somone I cared for. Here's my point: If you really like a guy - don't go there - you'll ruin things. And if HE goes there then he doesn't care about you. Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 I know you asked the girls, but I'm a guy and I hope I can add something worthwhile. I've done it with girls. It was great! I didn't care about either of them. But if I cared for another girl and saw her with another guy ... I could NEVER get past it. So I assume that a girl who cared for me could NEVER really be OK with seeing me between the legs of one of her friends. It would be OVER - OVER. Either way. There is no way I'd agree - if it was somone I cared for. Here's my point: If you really like a guy - don't go there - you'll ruin things. And if HE goes there then he doesn't care about you. That's definitely the way my BF sees it, too. Not everyone is into monogamous sex, even when with a committed partner. Some like their sex a little more "randy." To each their own, but I have seen many LS posts with women who agreed to threesomes and regret it. Then again, you probably see more posts from those who are suffering from than lauding their menage a trois. Link to post Share on other sites
GregsBad Posted May 24, 2007 Share Posted May 24, 2007 That's definitely the way my BF sees it, too. Not everyone is into monogamous sex, even when with a committed partner. Some like their sex a little more "randy." To each their own, but I have seen many LS posts with women who agreed to threesomes and regret it. Then again, you probably see more posts from those who are suffering from than lauding their menage a trois. Right Legs! I swear that if my gf ever asked, or pressured me that way ... I would say NO! NO WAY! I'd tell her she is all I want! But then if I was dating somone I didn't really care about, who invited me into a 3-way ... then I'd want some viagra because I don't want to fail in such a vital mission. Duty calls! Link to post Share on other sites
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