DesperateDad Update

[DesperateDad]

Hey guys, I'm back. I haven't logged in for the longest time because I just gave up on my relationship and threw myself into other things to take my mind off of it. My original thread is this one: Another Love but not IN Love Story. Here's the update:

 

I have no love left for my STBXW and we're getting a divorce. Everything I suspected about her interest in the neighbor guy, or POS as I like to call him, has been confirmed. Up until a few weeks ago STBXW swore up and down that they were just friends. That is, until I found a stack of love letters professing his undying love for her and also cards saying "Happy 21 Month Anniversary SoulMate."

 

The kind of sappy crap in those letters would be funny as hell if it weren't real and happening to me. Regardless, I have no feelings left for her other than disgust. Yes, I'm still in a stage where I'm bitter and resentful and I have a lot of anger over the lies and betrayal. All of that was unnecessary and caused me a lot of pain.

 

Many of you here told me to stop being a dumbass and realize the truth and you were right. The love letters also mentioned a ring and a promise to marry her. Keep in mind that we have been living in the same house, are still legally married, and sleeping in the same bed (yes, just sleeping for the past year and some change).

 

Another neighbor of mine admitted to me recently that everyone knew what was going on and were disgusted with the two of them. The STBXW has been telling me for a long time that the neighbors stopped visiting because they didn't like me and thought I treated her badly. My (good) neighbor said this was completely false and that the avoidance was all about the open affair the two lovers have been having while I'm working 50-60 hours a week. I know I'm just about the biggest tool in history and it makes me sick.

 

My financial situation is a disaster and we'll be losing our house in the next few weeks. We both have plans to move into apartments in June. Unfortunately, it looks like all three parties in this relationship will be moving into the same apartment complex. POS is moving into the next building from her and I found a place several buildings away.

 

Many of you will tell me this is a huge mistake and you could be right. I made the decision based on a couple of things. Some of you know I have five children ranging from 2 to 7 as well as an older stepdaughter. I only have a small car that won't fit them all and I have no way of getting a larger one in the near future.

 

Being this close will allow me to see my kids much more often and have them at my place without having to drive a distance to go and get them. I had intended on getting a place farther away, but I'm having a hard time with the idea of being away from my kids. I've at least picked out an apartment that's away from hers and POS, so I won't be able to watch them coming and going.

 

Honestly, I have a lot of misgivings about this situation. I'm thinking of trying it on a trial basis and seeing how it works out. I've been living for more than a year with STBXW and POS dating right under my nose and it's been hell. A worse hell for me is to be away from my kids who I now see every day.

 

I've talked before about how I take care of them when I get home from work and watch them most weekends. I know I won't be able to do that in the future, but being close to them is important.

 

So, I have a couple of questions for you: is it a terrible mistake for me to move so close? I think I can avoid the starstruck lovers for the most part, but I know I'll have to deal with the fact that they are together anyway.

 

That leads me to the next question: How should I feel about her and this guy? Should I accept what's going on and just try to be polite? I can't and won't be friends with either even though she says that's what she wants. If she'd wanted to be friendly, she would have moved out and filed for divorce before getting involved with this guy.

 

She doesn't think she's done anything wrong and thinks I'm a jerk for being so upset. She's actually asked me why I can't just move on with my life and be happy she's found someone. Again, this is funny stuff except it's real. I'm exhausted from thinking about it and looking forward to being on my own, but I'm terrified of losing my children...

[sumdude]

Some call it the fog .. whatever you call it she's under the influence of the most powerful drug known to humankind. A fairly new love (or sexual) affair.. added with the excitement of intrigue (the cheating). Like any addict she will rationalize everything and show no real remorse. It doesn't matter whether or not thier relationship succeeds or fails in the long run. She is done with you and you must face that square on. Seems like you have at some level.

 

You must get as far away from them as humanly possible in your situation. Have as little contact as possible. If you must deal with her be businesslike and civil. Him I would just ignore. You have to take care of yourself first. Go through the greiving process and the letting go of her process. Every time you see her or OM it will make it all that much harder to get through.

 

You've read it here a million times ... in the long run you will be so much better off with her out of your life.

 

In a backward way, find a way to be happy she's found someone else .. not for her but for yourself. Now you can live a better life because this lying, cheating person who broke your trust a hundred times will be gone forever. Don't bother talking to her about it or responding to it. Just let it all go because it just doesn't matter anymore. Stop beating the dead horse, you'll only wear yourself out. In a way she's right about one thing .. move on with YOUR life.

[quankanne]

IMO, a parent never, ever makes a bad call by putting the children first. I can't imagine how soul-ripping it would be to have to live in an area where you know the two of them are right next to each other, but for your kids' sake, you're going to need to put those feelings aside as much as you can, because you're still the dad, not the fornicating neighbor. I guess the proper term is to "co-exist peacefully" while living in that same complex.

 

you don't have to make nice just because she wants it to all be one happy family, but you can carry yourself in a civil manner, you know?

 

my heart goes out to you ... I have never understood those people who would rather ruin the lives around them by lying and furtively carrying on instead of making an honest break of things.

 

q

[curiousnycgirl]

I think you need to be polite for the sake of your children. As far as being friends, I think there is too much hurt at this point for that to be possible.

 

I completely understand why you chose to live so close - and in time the wounds will heal and seeing her and him will not be so bad. For now I guess you just need to suck it up for the kids.

 

I'm so sorry you are going throug this.

[sumdude]

If your only option is to live that close then so be it. But before you sign a lease .... think think think of what else you could do! Could you somehow trade your car for something larger? Find somewhere else not so damn clse to live? Improvise! Find a solution.

[Gunny376]

Hey DD ~ Long time no see Bro.

 

Sorry things went south on you ~ but hindsight be 20/20 you can look back and see it with perfect clarity.

 

I realize your going through a really tough spot, and I'll post more later tonight (Getting ready for work right now)

 

But, I think your doing one Hell of a job in manning up and putting your little ones before your own wants and needs, and doing what's in the their best intersts. That's what Daddy are suppose to do ~ and I'm here to tell you Bro, they grow up fast, and I mean super fast. Don't blink your eyes.

 

And over the course of the years, they're going to see Mommy's BS for what it was and is. And her for what she is.

 

I know its hard to see right now, but there's going to come a day when you're going to Thank God you didn't invest not a second more with this woman. If anything you're going to be PO'd that you stayed with her as long as you did. Trust me, you're going to soar in life, now that you've gotten rid of this dead horse of a wife and not dragging her around with you everywhere you go.

 

On the financial side, I've been there, and have some resources that you can look into and check out. They'll cut your recovery time in half.

 

Keep posting

 

Gunny

[DesperateDad]

Thanks for all the comments, guys! I probably should have posted more over the last months instead of just trying to suck it up. I know I'll be better off without her, but also that I have to accept this relationship which totally pisses me off.

 

I'm also getting involved in other things in my life. I've been taking golf lessons and going out with friends more often. I've also done some things I've never done alone before, like go to a rock concert all by myself. I've come a long way, but I still have a long way to go.

 

Gunny, it's good to hear from you again! I've been checking out some of the things you've written and I'm really impressed. You are a voice of wisdom. I remember when you first started posting last year and how you pissed people off. LOL. I'm looking forward to any advice you have for me at this point.

[Ladyjane14]

Geez, I'm sorry to hear it, DD.

 

Have you seen an attorney yet? Maybe a way can be found to help you keep the house and keep the kids at home. I would definitely check into it. I think I'd be the first to hit with papers and a temporary custody order, if it was me. Who knows?... maybe something can be worked out with your creditors too?

 

Anyway... if an apartment nearby is the best you can accomplish, it'll have to do. I think you're going to end up feeling like her personal babysitter if you end up in too close proximity though. There are some advantages to that in spending more time with the kids... but it's not nearly so good as having your ex-tramp write out a child support check every month with YOUR name on it.

 

See an attorney before you make any BIG decisions.

[Ladyjane14]

Ooooohhh... here's an alternative. Let her move into her little cramped 'lovenest', then you join the National Guard and leave her stuck there with SIX children up her butt full time. Meanwhile, you're calling and sending them little cards and gifties so they like you better.

 

Now THAT would put a bit of a crimp in her trashy, little love life wouldn't it?

Picture OM trying to get some attention then. Particularly if you have a no-overnight-guests clause in the custody agreement.

 

(My God... we really need an emoticon with little devil horns! )

[DesperateDad]

LOL. It's good to talk to you again, LJ! Yes, I've spoken to an attorney several times already and followed his recommendations. On the legal front things are looking pretty good. My attorney recommended that we agree on as much as we can and then he would put it in legalese. He said the judge wouldn't really care about the details as long as it wasn't completely one-sided.

 

With that said, we've agreed to just about everything, division of property and debts, as well as custody. I don't have much chance of getting more than a standard custody arrangement with her being the custodial parent. My attorney said not to worry about that, but to concentrate on the financial stuff.

 

I'm not too concerned about parental time as I think she'll be happy to have me for a babysitter. If I'd moved farther away, I have a feeling she would be looking for other people to watch the kids and I would see them much less, possibly only as much as the divorce agreement dictates.

 

There is a precedent here, though. She basically let her first husband see his daughter any time he wanted and was very flexible in working parental time out with him. I expect that she'll be pretty flexible with me, too. If not, the kids will know it because they'll know where I live...

 

As far as the house goes, if you remember, I let her run the finances for most of our marriage. The problem is that while she always had money to pay for cable TV and fast food, those pesky little student loan and mortgage payments ended up being paid late or not at all. She claimed that she paid for the stuff she wanted out of her money, that is her child support checks and whatever she made from whatever other sources.

 

I've taken control of my part of the income and talked to the mortgage people and student loan people. I managed to keep the student loans out of default (for now), but the house is a lost cause. They simply aren't willing to deal and neither one of us can afford to make the payments alone.

 

I can't tell you how sad I am that the kids are losing their nice home in the suburbs. This is the only home the younger ones have really known. It's a great place with lots of other kids and lots of space to run around. I've really enjoyed being friends with my neighbors (all but one, that is) and I'm sorry to have to leave.

 

I suppose it's good that I won't have to leave the house to her and POS to enjoy when I'm out of the picture. I know they can't wait to get on with their lives. You should see the matching rings they wear! It's embarrassing and shameful. Someday I hope she wakes up and realizes what a mistake it was...

[annabelle75]

I think staying close for the kid's sake is a very wise and mature thing to do. My XH and I live on the same street. At first it was uncomfrotable but our daughter loved it. It made the transition of our divorce easier for her to handle. She felt more secure knowing the other parent was never very far away.

[DesperateDad]

Hi annabelle. I've been thinking that, too. I do spend a lot of time with my kids now. They even run after me down the driveway in the morning to make sure I kissed them and hugged them goodbye. I really do have a close relationship with them and I would hate to lose that.

 

I know it's going to be difficult being so close to her and POS, but I keep hearing my kids begging me to move close to them and then I think I can deal with it. I would love to be farther away from the lovebirds, but I don't want to sacrifice my relationship with my kids.

 

I know that part of this is selfish, too. I just don't want to be away from my kids. I really have let go of the STBXW, though. I wouldn't even consider reconciling at this point.

[Ladyjane14]

Someday I hope she wakes up and realizes what a mistake it was...

 

Hon... all she's getting is a nasty piece of crap who was willing to f*ck his neighbor's wife.

 

I'm starting to think that EVERY cheater should end up with the no-account POS they cheated with. It's just desserts.

 

Your STBX traded in a decent man with a good heart. And look what she got in exchange. How could that NOT work out disastrously???

[DesperateDad]

Thanks, LJ. I have to say I've learned from this guy, though. When I read some of his letters to my STBXW, some things hit me. Keep in mind that this is a guy who only just got divorced from a woman he had been married to for almost 20 years. They met as teenagers and went from there. He's never had another adult relationship.

 

My point is that I see what a trap that desperate loneliness and unhappiness can be. It can make you do things you never would have done before. I think I talked here before about how he looked me in the eye and shook my hand and swore he wouldn't take my wife away from me. This was a year and a half ago. He said it twice to make sure I heard it, too.

 

Understanding what happened here doesn't change how I feel about the two of them, but it helps me to avoid doing the same thing myself. I'm starting to get involved in doing my own things in life and making new friends and it's really great. I still have a lot of mental baggage to unload, but I think it will be easier when we're not under the same roof.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

I'm terribly sorry for your situation, good luck moving on. I wanted to comment on living in the same apartment complex as your children. My sister and BIL went through a very similar situation. Sis married OM then divorced a few years later and has many R's since. She constatly needed him to sit for the kids with her crazy lifestyle. Eventually she just left the older ones to care for the younger. (4 in all)

 

He had never minded having the children as he knew they were much happier at his home. He married a wonderful woman with 2 of her own and they have an "open door" policy. Any of the 4 is welcome no matter whose day it is. Since my sister had permanent custody and child support was determined by the number of days she had them then he made her agree that payment would be subtracted for the days they stayed with him. That gave her reason to keep them and he wasn't paying through the nose and supporting them as well. They also live with in safe walking distance from each other and that has been a blessing for the kids as well.

 

He is the room father, scout leader, coach, DI leader, PTO representative, husband to a loving, beatiful woman, father of 6 now and one of the happiest men I've ever met. She is miserable, still bouncing around, never happy, blames everyone else for HER problems. I spent MANY nights with him crying on the phone after all of this, he was so hurt, begged her not to do this thought his life was over. Through it all, he always took the high road, always did what was best for the kids and his life couldn't be happier. I remember when he told me that she didn't know why he couldn't just accept it, that HE needed counseling for making her feel guilty about her decisions ect., ect., ect.

 

Good Luck to you, I'm glad, atleast its all out in the open and you can see what you have to deal with now.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

I'm starting to think that EVERY cheater should end up with the no-account POS they cheated with. It's just desserts.

 

LJ,

 

I'm absolutely sure of it! Infact when I saw SC's best revenge thread I wanted to answer with this but figured it would just sound bitter, but I believe it whole heartedly. Birds of a feather and all that....!

[Darth Vader]

I'm surprised that you havn't beaten the crap out of this guy. Protect you assets, can you go for joint, or better yet sole custody. Make sure your children are yours, get a DNA test done pronto! If one of them isn't yours, you may be able to sue her for fraud.

[Darth Vader]

Ooooohhh... here's an alternative. Let her move into her little cramped 'lovenest', then you join the National Guard and leave her stuck there with SIX children up her butt full time. Meanwhile, you're calling and sending them little cards and gifties so they like you better.

 

Now THAT would put a bit of a crimp in her trashy, little love life wouldn't it?

Picture OM trying to get some attention then. Particularly if you have a no-overnight-guests clause in the custody agreement.

 

(My God... we really need an emoticon with little devil horns! )

 

 

You really are EVIL! :cool:

[Darth Vader]

I suppose it's good that I won't have to leave the house to her and POS to enjoy when I'm out of the picture. I know they can't wait to get on with their lives. You should see the matching rings they wear! It's embarrassing and shameful. Someday I hope she wakes up and realizes what a mistake it was...

 

 

When she does wake up, you're not going to want to be around her at all! The drama would continue, and it would still be all about her.

[Darth Vader]

Hi annabelle. I've been thinking that, too. I do spend a lot of time with my kids now. They even run after me down the driveway in the morning to make sure I kissed them and hugged them goodbye. I really do have a close relationship with them and I would hate to lose that.

 

I know it's going to be difficult being so close to her and POS, but I keep hearing my kids begging me to move close to them and then I think I can deal with it. I would love to be farther away from the lovebirds, but I don't want to sacrifice my relationship with my kids.

 

I know that part of this is selfish, too. I just don't want to be away from my kids. I really have let go of the STBXW, though. I wouldn't even consider reconciling at this point.

 

 

Eventually, there will be someone else for you, in the meantime concentrate on your healing. Your STBXW, will be seeing the impact of her actions for years to come, how your children Love:love: you, how they run to kiss you goodbye before you go to work despite what she did to you. You're basically saying to her by your actions, you may have gotten what you wanted, but you didn't destroy me, or my loving relationship with my children. I would almost be willing to bet my Saber, that your children don't act that way with her, kinda funny huh? The children KNOW who the real parent is, and so do we...........

[Billy Bob]

DD, you are on the way to being one happy fellow! Life has changed, but new opportunities will present themselves. I have never been happier after unloading my dead wood wife... but at the time it was devastating! Your in good health, able to see your kids, have a roof over your head... everything will work out just fine in the end.

 

Get yourself a girlfriend! Or even a FWB (friend with benefits) - Start living it up a bit.

[Gunny376]

Piss people off? Who? Me?

 

You must have me confused with someone else?

 

Anyway, I've been thinking about your latest thread all day while at work. I read LJ's post, ~ and the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, and since the STBXW is totally focused on her and the OM, and they're little fantasy world.

 

I was thinking? Her she is coming out of her second marriage, and he his first of 20 years? And, she's a cheater getting in a relationship with another cheater. That's like to ax murders getting together ~ saying "Yo! I've got nothing but trust for you?"

 

I mean how does that work? It doesn't? And, then I got to to thinking, here you've got LJ with her vast and deep resivor of knowledge and experiene, and me studying this twenty-four-seven, reading and re-reading books, and all these other fine learned folks here at LS that are looking for the answers to the questions, and solutions to the problems ~ and these two don't have a clue as to how to make a marriage work. And, arsen't even trying to find out how to make a marriage work.

 

I mean Hell, these two weren't even willing to try and learn how to make their last marriages work ~ how the f**k is this one going to work? The part about her spending "her money (aka child support) on fast food and cable tv really pissed me off. That's where she needs to get off her dead azz and that comes out of her pocket. Child support is for child support ~ just that plain and simple. Don't take offenses to that personally ~ you were in love and blinded by love and her BS ~ I know ~ I've been there! I won't be making a return trip, I can promise you that for sure and certain.

 

In the long run of it you're going to be better off with out this parasite sucking the life blood and youth out of you. It took me many a year, and many a fifth of Canadian to get a clear pretty picture in my head of the type of person my XW was and is. I almost feel sorry for the poor bastard that took her from me.

 

My grown children tell me tales of things she does and says ~ manipulative ways of hers ~ and I think, "You poor stupid bastard! ~ But by the Grace of Almighty God ~ there go I.

 

Forgive me if I ramble, but as I said I was thinking about you all through my shift tonight.

 

First off, I don't know if I so much want to call it advice ~ as I would like to look back over the last seventeen years, (I'm single ~ never re-married) since my divorce.

 

At this point in time? The children are and should be your first priorty. I'm telling you! They grow up really, super-fast quick. Before you can blink your eyes, they'll be grown and gone. It accelertates with each passing phase. Once they've got they're driver's liscense, you'll be lucky to corner them up for a ten minute chat. So, I would make that my number one priorty in life for the next ten or so years.

 

Any woman worth her salt, will understand and be on-board with that. If not? You don't need her.

 

The great news is that if you are looking for a GF, or another wife (when you're ready) then you're in the cat birds seat. Forget bars? Head for the ball field.

 

The simple truth of the matter is ~ at your age and with six children ~ dateable women that you're going to meet ~ have children, and a large part of their time, effort, and energy is slotted toward that.

 

Forget about being lonely ~ get comfrotable with being single. When you're comfortable with being single ~ you could care less if you're single are not! You could care less if you have someone in your life ~ because you know what ~ I'm happy by myself and with just me and my children.

 

Which brings me to my next point. Its all a state of mind. You are what you tell yourself you are. Abe Lincolin said, "Most people are about as happy as they make their minds up to be!" That is so true!

 

Me? I rather be single, alone, and happy, than go back through being married, miserable, and un-happy, hating life and everyone in it! Wondering when and where my so-called wife is, and who she's out scroggin!

 

I would rather have control of my destiny, my finances, my day to day, ~ have my "life" back than I would have what I had with the XW. And, that's what you're getting back out of this ~ your freaking life! It yours ~ all yours! And, no one elses!

 

Better to live hard, and die free, than to suffer the humilation of bondage!

 

You're got so much going for you ~ but you know what? You're getting your self esteem and self respect back!

 

You knew she was scroggin the POS, you knew! The same damn way I knew. You didn't need the negihbors, you didn't need the tv show "Cheaters", you didn't need a PI ~ you knew!

 

You knew the way I knew! You don't have children with someone, lie in the same bed year in and year out ~ and not know! And yes! I took a boatride up the river "D'nile!" I so wanted it not to be true!

 

Keep posting ~ I've got some good links for you on the financial side of the story! And some books about children and divorce ~ I'm talking long term effects. Other good stuff ~ but right now this post is too long ~ and I'm out of gas! LOL!

 

Gunny

 

PS ~ Was it you or Crying Canuk that called me a "redneck"

[ilmw]

Piss people off? Who? Me?

 

You must have me confused with someone else?

 

Anyway, I've been thinking about your latest thread all day while at work. I read LJ's post, ~ and the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, and since the STBXW is totally focused on her and the OM, and they're little fantasy world.

 

I was thinking? Her she is coming out of her second marriage, and he his first of 20 years? And, she's a cheater getting in a relationship with another cheater. That's like to ax murders getting together ~ saying "Yo! I've got nothing but trust for you?"

 

I mean how does that work? It doesn't? And, then I got to to thinking, here you've got LJ with her vast and deep resivor of knowledge and experiene, and me studying this twenty-four-seven, reading and re-reading books, and all these other fine learned folks here at LS that are looking for the answers to the questions, and solutions to the problems ~ and these two don't have a clue as to how to make a marriage work. And, arsen't even trying to find out how to make a marriage work.

 

I mean Hell, these two weren't even willing to try and learn how to make their last marriages work ~ how the f**k is this one going to work? The part about her spending "her money (aka child support) on fast food and cable tv really pissed me off. That's where she needs to get off her dead azz and that comes out of her pocket. Child support is for child support ~ just that plain and simple. Don't take offenses to that personally ~ you were in love and blinded by love and her BS ~ I know ~ I've been there! I won't be making a return trip, I can promise you that for sure and certain.

 

In the long run of it you're going to be better off with out this parasite sucking the life blood and youth out of you. It took me many a year, and many a fifth of Canadian to get a clear pretty picture in my head of the type of person my XW was and is. I almost feel sorry for the poor bastard that took her from me.

 

My grown children tell me tales of things she does and says ~ manipulative ways of hers ~ and I think, "You poor stupid bastard! ~ But by the Grace of Almighty God ~ there go I.

 

Forgive me if I ramble, but as I said I was thinking about you all through my shift tonight.

 

First off, I don't know if I so much want to call it advice ~ as I would like to look back over the last seventeen years, (I'm single ~ never re-married) since my divorce.

 

At this point in time? The children are and should be your first priorty. I'm telling you! They grow up really, super-fast quick. Before you can blink your eyes, they'll be grown and gone. It accelertates with each passing phase. Once they've got they're driver's liscense, you'll be lucky to corner them up for a ten minute chat. So, I would make that my number one priorty in life for the next ten or so years.

 

Any woman worth her salt, will understand and be on-board with that. If not? You don't need her.

 

The great news is that if you are looking for a GF, or another wife (when you're ready) then you're in the cat birds seat. Forget bars? Head for the ball field.

 

The simple truth of the matter is ~ at your age and with six children ~ dateable women that you're going to meet ~ have children, and a large part of their time, effort, and energy is slotted toward that.

 

Forget about being lonely ~ get comfrotable with being single. When you're comfortable with being single ~ you could care less if you're single are not! You could care less if you have someone in your life ~ because you know what ~ I'm happy by myself and with just me and my children.

 

Which brings me to my next point. Its all a state of mind. You are what you tell yourself you are. Abe Lincolin said, "Most people are about as happy as they make their minds up to be!" That is so true!

 

Me? I rather be single, alone, and happy, than go back through being married, miserable, and un-happy, hating life and everyone in it! Wondering when and where my so-called wife is, and who she's out scroggin!

 

I would rather have control of my destiny, my finances, my day to day, ~ have my "life" back than I would have what I had with the XW. And, that's what you're getting back out of this ~ your freaking life! It yours ~ all yours! And, no one elses!

 

Better to live hard, and die free, than to suffer the humilation of bondage!

 

You're got so much going for you ~ but you know what? You're getting your self esteem and self respect back!

 

You knew she was scroggin the POS, you knew! The same damn way I knew. You didn't need the negihbors, you didn't need the tv show "Cheaters", you didn't need a PI ~ you knew!

 

You knew the way I knew! You don't have children with someone, lie in the same bed year in and year out ~ and not know! And yes! I took a boatride up the river "D'nile!" I so wanted it not to be true!

 

Keep posting ~ I've got some good links for you on the financial side of the story! And some books about children and divorce ~ I'm talking long term effects. Other good stuff ~ but right now this post is too long ~ and I'm out of gas! LOL!

 

Gunny

 

PS ~ Was it you or Crying Canuk that called me a "redneck"

 

Damn Gunns.. you are on fire with the post lately... nother great one.. Thanks... and yeah.. Its starting to feel good to be single...

[Gunny376]

LOL!

 

Gunny, it's good to hear from you again! I've been checking out some of the things you've written and I'm really impressed. You are a voice of wisdom. I remember when you first started posting last year and how you pissed people off. LOL. I'm looking forward to any advice you have for me at this point.

 

NOW! You understand ~ "Its up against the wall, You Redneck Mother ~ Trucker! I'm going for your azz!

 

"By God!" :mad: :mad:

[notspiritual]

How should I feel about her and this guy? Should I accept what's going on and just try to be polite?

 

DesperateDad, imagine your STBXW happily married with the OM. They live the perfect love until the end of their lives.

 

Does it hurt? It shouldn’t. Even a second spent thinking over your STBXW is an awful waste of time. What the STBXW does, is no longer your business. Do not pollute your beautiful mind with the thought of the bitch.. She is not even worth a time of a thought.

 

The only thing that should be in your mind is your kids. Be the best dad you can be for them. Even if you are broke, even if you are emotionally broken, gather your strength to take care of your kids. That is why I say you have a beautiful mind. Do not dirt it by thinking of the bitch. Your happiness will be the happiness of your kids. THEY need to be in the center of your mind, not your STBXW. Even if you were never to love another woman again, raising your kids is your most beautiful goal in life.