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Driving myself crazy, should I worry


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Hello everyone,

 

I am a 32 year old male, married with 2 infant children. Here's my issue and it's been effecting my mood lately. My wife is going to her cousins

bachelorette party in about 5 weeks. I'm going to go back awhile when we were dating to explain why I'm worried. I got home from work late in the evening about 7 1/2 years ago, and we were living with her mother. When I got home she said that her daughter wanted me to meet her at the bar near her work, that she was there with her friends. Her one friend always cheated on her husband, and was wild, my g/f at that time could be wild herself if with the wrong crowd. So I pop in, there's my g/f with her shirt up, bra showing and she's pulling balloons filled with sand out of her 40 DD bra. I'm pissed, and she knows she's busted. I asked her if they were showing there tits or bra for free drinks and she swore no. 2 years ago, her best friend, another cousin, is getting married. We decide to have the entire wedding party over about two weeks before the wedding just to sit back and drink and shoot the ****. Probably about 3 hours into it, were all feeling pretty good, joking about sex and my wife stands up and starts to unbutton her shirt. She only got 2 of them because fire flew out of my eye's and she sat back down. Needless to say the rest of the night went great but I completely flipped my lid afterwards because there was one guy there that I didn't know that great but considered him a friend. Was I wrong? Married with a son at that time , think he was 8 months old sleeping upstairs. Her cousins fianace made a comment about her big tits, he is my friend, thats what gave her the thumbs up to do it, as I joke and laugh. To me thats my wife, I should be the only one to see those bad boyz. The bachelorette party a week or so later, I'm worried that she's going to do something stupid again on a crazy night. She comes home the next evening tired and alittle hung over yet. I question her about the extra $$ that was takin out of the account, and she mentions that one girl didn't show up, so everyone had to pay extra for the limo. Fine, No problem, but then I notice that she has a giant bruise on her brow. When I asked what happened she said they were dancing, they're was a band playing and her cousin thought the singer was cute and was teasing him all night, and they were having fun. But a a group of girls pushed the two of them into the speaker. Now to me, they must have been doing something that pissed two other catty girls off, but to this day she swears. The wedding, her bridal partner is a complete geek, 34 yr. old virgin that lives at home with his brother and mom, and doesn't work. She's pretty drunk, and runs out on the dance floor and shakes her boobs at this guy. I'm bull****ting with her father, and I could see he was alittle pissed, I'm holding it in. The next dance comes, it's a slow one, and she mentions that the geek said something to her, but for me to promise not to cause a scene, yeah okay I promise, right! Aftet doing that I noticed that he did lean over to her and whisper something but didn't think anything of it. But he said why don't you leave your husband and come home with me and I'll show you a whole new world. Big mistake, anyways, I told her she asked for it, being a tease and shaking your tits in some geeks face, what did you expect. Made alittle scene but didn't want to ruin the wedding. So, my question is there's this party coming up in July, and I usually have to lie or not answer the phone if I'm having a few beers after work, and if I come home feeling pretty good, I usually hear about it, and I'll get the silent treatment for a day or two. Wife doesn't really bother with her friends, mostly just her family cousins, which this is who the bachelorette party is for. My wife doesn't drink at all, unless it's an occassion like this, and she never goes out, even though I tell her too all the time. Do I have reason to worry, or not trust her? And was I wrong in any of these cases?

Sorry so long, but I wanted to explain that there's a bit of a history with her tits since I've known her 9 years. My wife is alittle big bone, has currently lost all this weight for the wedding and the dress, and the nite out I'm sure. Said that because she's not this model type, your typical young mother look. Thanks for reading, honest replies please, and just let me know what you think!

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behappy999

Your wife sounds like an immature college girl on Girls Gone Wild.

 

I'M a college girl... been with my bf for only 6 months and no way in hell would I EVER act the way she does. EVER. Totally NOT acceptable. And she's married with children!!!

 

YES you have reason not to trust her. If she does that stuff in front of you, just imagine what she's capable of when you're not. Not to mention if she doesn't drink a whole lot she'll probably get a little crazy when she does.

 

Why do you have to lie to each other? What kind of marriage is that?!

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Darth Vader

I wonder what her problem is if you are having a few, in your own home, but she can go crazy when she is out, I sense a Double Standard and lots of Bullcrap coming from your wife. Have you ever brought this up with her. Has she ever been unable to account for unexplainable time?

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Ouch... I can feel your pain my friend. If you two do not get a handle on this, your feelings are going to cause you to resent her if you do not already that is. Me personally I would have left her when she was caught in the bar. It is my guess that you have had trust issues with her from this moment on. I would ask myself, "Is this really something I want to continue feeling and wondering about?" If it is worth it to you the two of you may need some counseling.

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This is really sad. She has so little respect for you that she is willing to do these things in front of you. God knows what she does when you are not present. I think what happened at the bar is a pretty clear indication of what she will do at parties when you are not present.

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LakesideDream

Big double standard. Your SO is an exhibitionist. My bet is that if you went to strip clubs, or (Gasp) looked at porn she would be here screaming to the high mountains.

 

Time to dump her and find a woman that is more trustworthy and to your liking. Who cares about the kids, they will be better off in a household without the stress anyway.. right?

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We don't have the perfect marriage I'll admit. I've created alot of hell and stress on my wife, one I'm a compulsive gambler in recovery since Febuary, she has stuck with me through this hardship twice, so her trust in me and anything I do is gone, I have to earn it back. When I go to a bar to meet up with a buddy and don't answer the phone because I don't feel like explaining myself, I'm wrong and immature in that case. She comes right home everyday from work sametime, tends to her children and myself. It's just her having fun infront of friends but taking it alittle too far, and I agree due to her state of mind during these instances, I'm sure she thought it was all out of fun, but I agree it's a lack of respect for my feelings but her own. And your right about strip clubs and porn.

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Darth Vader

Then you better lay down some ground rules, like yesterday, and both of you stick to it. It looks like she's looking for a way to cheat on you, if she hasn't already. I can sense it coming!

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