Why is she doing this to me?

[Shameless]

Been married for 3 years. I have loved her with all my heart, body and soul. Flirting comes to me naturally and in the 3 years we have been married she has caught me flirting 3 times on the internet with ex girlfirends. she has always tolds me she doesnt like it, and each and every time she has caught me, i have had to pay the consequences, first time she started flirting with a friend of mine, second time she slept with an old flame, but now she has told me we are separated and she is sleeping with a guy she met in a pub. this has been going on for three weeks now. i cannot move out of the house coz she threatens to write to the home office and have my settelement visa cancelled. we have a 2 year old daughter who she leaves me with to go meet this guy.

 

the weirdest thing is when she comes back she wants to make love claiming that the other guy is hopeless at sex and only makes her laugh thats why she goes back to him. she claims she needs to be separate from me for a year and then we can get back together, but i have to win her back. but how do i do that? when she comes home i resent her so much. She says she cant stand me sleeping with anyone else coz if i love her then i should focus on winning her back but not go and sleep with anyone esle. whats going on? i dont understand....should i just forget everything and move on?

[amaysngrace]

You both sound pretty dysfunctional. No offense. You were wrong to contact your exes and she is wrong to screw around. So as I see it you both treat each other poorly.

 

I think major counseling is needed for you two.

 

And if you two stay together without intervention it will be your daughter who is going to need counseling down the road.

[Shameless]

THANKS for the reply, but she says she knows what the counsellors are going to say and she doesnt need it. i am having now to play dirty with the guy she is seeing. calling him at weird times of the night. having him followed etc. it is working as he seems not to want my wifes company anymore as he is scared ****less. But its now a guarantee i will get her back. and i want her back for both my daughters and her sake.

[sumdude]

THANKS for the reply, but she says she knows what the counsellors are going to say and she doesnt need it. i am having now to play dirty with the guy she is seeing. calling him at weird times of the night. having him followed etc. it is working as he seems not to want my wifes company anymore as he is scared ****less. But its now a guarantee i will get her back. and i want her back for both my daughters and her sake.

 

Oh boy. Your green monster is way out of control there man. Your extreme jealousy and tactics will do one thing. Pushing her farther and farther away as fast as you can say SEE YA. Look, you're creating an 'us vs. him' atmosphere for the two fo them. Making their bond stronger and you the enemy. Who the hell wants to go back to someone they percive as the enemy?

 

So your best bet is probably to let her go man. See what happens when you just let it be. These games you both have been playing will never add up to a good relationship unless you BOTH take a big step back and calm the hell down.