Trying to stop from cheating again. ?

[Guestboy44]

OK, i know that you all already hate me from the title and will probably hate me even more after you read this. Just please respect the fact that i'm being honest.

 

I've been in a relationship with my woman for 5 years. But when we first started dating, i was dating someone else. When my gf and i decided to get more serious, i dumped the girl i had on the side. My gf went away to college in Atlanta and we agreed that we would wait for eachother. We talked every night but occasionally, i'd have some overnight visitors.

 

I ended up moving to Atlanta because my job had an opening and transferred me. Plus we both wanted to be closer together. The next few years, i was a goodboy. Didn't cheat or even entertain the idea. We even lived together on and off over the next few years and the relationship grew to where i loved her more and more.

 

She ended up going away for about 4 months for a fall camp she has to do for school once a year. We didn't talk as often as we had before when we were apart so i assumed she was probably sleeping with someone. Everytime i'd call, she would be too busy to talk, so one night, i got drunk, went to the club and met this girl. She was fine too but i wouldn't trade my girlfirend for any of these girls. Anyway, to make a long story short, i ended up banging her. It was fun while i was doing it but i after a while, i actually felt guilty. Did i tell my gf? Hell no. But we're still together to this day and we love eachother very much. I support her financially while she's in school so i treat her very well.

 

Now here's my question. She's going to be leaving again for the same camp in August. I live in the big city now so i see more pretty young gals than i've ever seen before. I'm thinking , "Hey, i'm only young and in my 20s once. Plus, we're not married yet. Why not?" I do plan to marry my girl in the next year but before i do i'm figuring, "Why not get it all out while i can before i'm married?" The thing is, i woudn't be able to handle the consequences because i really care for this girl. She's my best friend and we do alot together. I really hope one day we will be married but with her leaving on the camp every year i figure hell, what would any man do? The last thing i want to do is break her heart but with her leaving i figure what she don't know can't hurt her.

 

PLease loveshack, deep down, i already know what i'm considering is wrong. It's almost like i forgot how guilty i felt when i stepped out on her during the 3rd year in our relationship. But the other side of me is telling me that it's better to get everything out now than while i'm married. I don't want to break up with her because we have the best sex and the best friendship. It's just sometimes, i can't help but have the wandering eyes. I'm not a bad person at all but sometimes it's too easy to do the wrong thing, even if you know you'll probably regret it later.

 

PLease, i need a little advice