victor alexis Posted May 25, 2007 Share Posted May 25, 2007 ok heres the background for ya's. ive known my friend for 7 months now and i have always liked her as more than a friend. (we are both 18 by the way). i asked her out a little after a month of being her friend and she replied by saying that she didnt want to ruin the friendship. i then asked just for clarification if that was a no, but she then said that she wasnt saying no and that she was just shocked and without words not wanting to say the wrong thing. things got awkward and we never talked about it since. shortly afterward she started dating someone 3 years older than her...no clue if there is any connection between them starting a relationship and the timing of my actions that could have pushed the answer she gave me in a particular direction. anywho, we drifted apart while they were dating and we had little contact for around 3-4 months. she broke up with him 2 months ago and we began to catch up. within a matter of 2 weeks we went from never doing anything together to practially spending every evening together. we always do things alone instead of with other friends, like watch movies at each others houses, hiking, ice skating, bowling, etc.... she is a really friendly person but lately i get the feeling that she is flirting with me in a way that makes me think she may see me as more than her friend. she always laughs at my little jokes no matter how lame, looks me in the eyes and holds it for 5+ seconds without saying a word, smiles all the time, play wrestles with me, holds my hands occasionally, rests her head on my shoulders, and is just really 'close' to me in general. she also is always saying stuff like " well thats what friends do for each other" after me thanking her for doing something for me. and sometimes she will say "guess what? i have a date tomorrow night, just kidding! its just a friend from school. also once at a small party we fell asleep in the same bed watching a movie in which nothing happened but she seemed really comfortable with it. so do you guys think there is anything there or is it just one of those really good friendships? ----o and thanks to anyone who actually read all of this it is greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author victor alexis Posted May 28, 2007 Author Share Posted May 28, 2007 i really need help on this guys, its driving me nuts. please someone tell me something, i fear time is against me. Link to post Share on other sites
Reckless Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 Yes, she likes you; the signals she is sending are to transmit the following message: Ask. Again. Stoopid. You could have probably gone out with her before if you had been a bit more agressive about it. Women (even girls) don't flirt like tha unless they want the guy to come up to bat. If you ask her she will probably say something like she did before "I don't know ... I like you as a friend" this is code for "If you really like me, nows the time to push it"; We like our men to put up a bit of a fight for us; if you therefore say "oh oh-kay then..; " and slink away we'll go out with the other guy. The one that ASKS. More than once. (A definite "no" is accompanied by the view of her back rapidly moving away; a "maybe" means yes, probably if you do a bit more of the 'alpha male' thing..) Mentioning other men is a (bad) way to see if you will pull your finger out (British expression for 'step up to bat'). Be a little more agressive or the next time she mentions a guy it will be that she's going out with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Diamonds&Rust Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 You might also have to assure her that you'd still be friends with her after you guys broke up, because I'm sure she's worried about it. As to how you'd do that, I have no clue. It's a lie anyway, so I'm not sure how to get it out. Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 I think you're in the friends zone. Any time a girl says "I don't want to risk losing our friendship" or other BS like that it usually really means "I'm not interested." Don't even bother paying attention to all of those flirting signals as if they're some failsafe measure of attraction. I've learned they mean little nowadays because girls flirting doesn't necessarily mean interest. You need more concrete proof of interest, such as if she gets jealous if you're with another girls...things like that. But anyways I would just say take a risk and ask her out again. I say most likely she gives some 'let's just be friends' line but better to take a shot and know for sure then to always wonder what would've happened. Why would you want to be her friend anyway if you're interested in her? Next thing you know she's gonna start telling you about the latest guys she is dating...and why would you wanna hear that? Link to post Share on other sites
Ciprian Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 What if you kissed and she felt like a sister? You need to just kiss her already and see what happens. Talking about it over, letting it stick in your head, etc, will just drive you crazy, and its a waster of productive time. Next time that you are with her, be a man, and go in for the kiss. Sparks will fly, and she will be glad that you finally showed real interest, by making the move. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 If you want to know you have to take the risk. This means possibly spoiling your friendship if things become to uncomfortable. You have to think of what you want out of your relationship because right now she is treating you as the guy friend she hangs out with until a guy she really wants to date comes along. My guess is that she views you as just a friend but if you want to know then you have to take the risk. (and yes, women will flirt and have no interest in you) Link to post Share on other sites
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