im i right in thinking

[ollie]

Hi, I'm 26 years and have been in a relationship for 6 months with a girl that i worked with 3 years ago.

 

I was friends with her but was in a relationship myself and she was too with the same guy for 6 years and they have a 4 years daughter.

 

I know she wasn't happy with him and that she was cheating him a lot with different guys and didn't feel at all guilty.

Now we have a very sexual relationship, we make love or **** at least 2 times a day for the last 6 months. She is naturally witty and sassy and no man could ever say no. She is sexually adventuress and has a very high sex drive.

 

She assures me that she would never cheat on me and that I'm everything to her and she loves me.

She works weekend selling roses in bars and clubs to make ends meet as she has a daughter.

Lots of guys touch her an tell her she is beautiful. sher assures me that nothing will ever happen....

she makes a lot of weekly contact with the same guys and especially the doormen/bouncers.

I have been with her to do this selling (driving car for her and waiting her as we go to next bar) its not always possible that i can go with her as i work weekends too.

Anyway this one particular bar where i am unable to see the door as the car park is at the side. I was surprised to find that she was having a fine and dandy conversation with 2 of these doormen and she was flicking her hair and laughing and standing very close. one of these guys is just her type (as am i) When she came back to the car i confronted her and she said it was only 2 min conversation. I stood and watched (in secret) for over 10 min. she let slip that she knew this one guys name. and also that yes hes good looking and she could have sex him if she wasn't with me.

she always goes on the same route and has for months.

 

also i know that she hasn't informed those door men that she has a boyfriend as it never come up!!!!

I have only been twice with her and some times doesn't make as much money as she could. she leaves at 20.30 and returns home at 04.30 or even later 05.30 and once at 06.00, yet when i go with her we are home at 04.00

 

I have been confronting her all week and never she gives me the answer i would like to hear. she just says that he is not interested and i am stupid for accusing her. All men are interested in her as she is gorgeous.

 

should i trust her or try to catch her?

 

Other than this crap we are very happy Monday to Friday and spend a lot of time together, i cook a lot (I'm a chef) and i massage her ,we make love we go for walks, she tells me she loves me(not as often as i would like)

yet I'm so sure she is cheating me.

[dbtmarley]

Going to bars to sell flowers? Is she selling stinky flower? Ok, just kidding.... I will admit I do not get a good vibe from your story and if I was in your shoes I would most likely have the same thoughts you do.

 

 

I think you have your suspicions. Are they correct? Maybe they are, maybe they are not. One thing I know for sure is that you are wondering... not good in a reltionship. That **** will eat at you.

 

Me personally, if a woman was honest enough with me to let me know she cheated on her ex, I would be honest with her and show her the door.

 

Can I ask you one thing... How much money does she make from selling flowers in the bar? There are a lot of bars in the my area. I am a guy, but hell if the moneys right I'll go sell tullips in the local watering hole!!!

 

Dude... I would drop this one.

[LovesJim55]

I would be nervous as well since you know she repeatedly cheated on a guy she was with for 6 years.

 

Bottom line, if you can't feel you can trust her then this is not a healthy relationship.

[Missy27]

Well.. I suppose you judge a person to a certain extent on their track record and your GF's track record is not exactly as pure as the driven snow is it ?

 

Its difficult to advise you on what to do because you've only been together for 6 months, which is no time at all in the grand scheme of things, and everybody handles things differently. When you first get together with someone I think it's wise to give them the benefit of the doubt because it can take people a little while to adjust to a new relationship, even if they've been in LTR's before. I would let the dust settle a bit and then re-assess the matter in 6 months time. There's not really alot you can do about whether you THINK she's cheating/has cheated on you unless you have hard proof and unless you're going to spend every waking hour following her every movement then its unlikely that you're going to know either way. Give her a little space and see how she reacts to it, a little bit of trust to begin with is never a bad thing.

 

For the immediate future however, I would suggest that you sit down together over a nice bottle of wine and talk about how you would both like your relationship to progress. Nothing too heavy or serious, but just try and get a feel for what it is she wants from your partnership. It may be the case that she just wants to have a bit of fun with someone. She has afterall just come out of one long term serious relationship, so she might not want to jump straight into something quite so deep yet. Either way, I think you need to define your boundaries with eachother and work out what's best for both of you.

 

Good Luck

[dbtmarley]

Well.. I suppose you judge a person to a certain extent on their track record and your GF's track record is not exactly as pure as the driven snow is it ?

 

Its difficult to advise you on what to do because you've only been together for 6 months, which is no time at all in the grand scheme of things, and everybody handles things differently. When you first get together with someone I think it's wise to give them the benefit of the doubt because it can take people a little while to adjust to a new relationship, even if they've been in LTR's before. I would let the dust settle a bit and then re-assess the matter in 6 months time. There's not really alot you can do about whether you THINK she's cheating/has cheated on you unless you have hard proof and unless you're going to spend every waking hour following her every movement then its unlikely that you're going to know either way. Give her a little space and see how she reacts to it, a little bit of trust to begin with is never a bad thing.

 

For the immediate future however, I would suggest that you sit down together over a nice bottle of wine and talk about how you would both like your relationship to progress. Nothing too heavy or serious, but just try and get a feel for what it is she wants from your partnership. It may be the case that she just wants to have a bit of fun with someone. She has afterall just come out of one long term serious relationship, so she might not want to jump straight into something quite so deep yet. Either way, I think you need to define your boundaries with eachother and work out what's best for both of you.

 

Good Luck

 

Missy very well said!

[ollie]

It doesn't make me any more sure that even women cant give me the answers or support i was looking for. Thanks Missy, i think I'm going to take your advice. Try to catch the her after the dust has settled. People only stop to commit crime when they get caught red handed.

 

If she is not doing anything then it would be a shame to break it of with her as i really love her. And I'm sure that she loves me (that doesn't stop people from cheating though does it).

 

Actually we are so in love but i have my doubts. She tells me I'm everything to her and what she could do if we broke up? She is a goddess to me i adore her, massage her everyday bring her flowers i cook every day and we text a lot when we are not together. i get on well with her daughter (4 years old) We go to park and play a lot together. My GF does lots of things for me too, massage and buying shirts and aftershave to me even i have a lot of those things. I consider my self handsome and good looking (Even a bi metrosexual)

 

We started to buy things together like toaster and kettle and coffee machines ( her ex took the old ones).

I don't want to end up spending a lot of money and then getting heart broken. I left my last relationship without even a pair of socks to change into.

 

We talked of getting married and that she is so sure she wants to be with me rest of her life. Thats why she cheated her ex, she knew it wasn't going to be the guy she wants to be with forever, he even left her for another woman. She told me that I'm everything she ever wanted like a fairy tale.

 

Now i just think that its too perfect and that she will get bored of me and cheat me anyway!