michguy Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Okay... here goes. After 20 years of a faithfull marriage, I had an affair with a younger woman. The affair turned from lust to love. Three and a half years... one divorce (mine) and one separation (hers) later, we are still together. To say this has been difficult for both of us is an understatement. We have had some really difficult times in which we both questioned whether or not we are meant for each other... each time... we have chosen to stay together. We are very different... she is extrememly social... I am basically the quiet type. We have different values when it comes to sex and other aspects of social interactivity. And of course the age difference (16 years). This never seemed to be an issue... but lately we have talked about it. Early in our relationship... she chose to sleep with two other guys... and lied about it. Throughout our relationship... there would be "incidents"... guys at work... friends... neighbors... all of whom I would discover later... she would be talking too... sometimes flirting with... had an interest in having sex with her... as far as I know... this has never happened. This past Summer... I discovered that she initiated having sex with someone she swore to me was just a friend... it didn't happen... because he chose for it not to happen. She likes to go out with her friends to bars without me... "because she can't be herself" with me... she refuses to introduce me to many of her friends... because she says "this is apart of her life" that she doesn't want to give up. She says she loves me... and I say I love her. When were together... when things are good... it is a beautiful thing. The problem is... I can't seem to accept her for her... I constantly think and say hurtfull things to her... because quite frankly, I don't agree with many things she does... and I also think deep down I'm afraid of her hurting me again. I still have anger deep down from before. And perhaps there is still a trust issue here. I wonder sometimes if I'm just afraid to let go out of fear... it doesn't seem fair for either of us. We either should get it right or let it go. Wow... I could go on and on... Any advice here??? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 I don't see anything good about this. It is not a match made in heaven. It started off bad, continued that way, and it is a total mess now. Exactly why are you staying with this woman. She must be hell in bed if everybody's trying to get her there. This is pretty much a no-brainer. You aren't very good at picking women. You need to dump this one and find one more suited to your personality and likes. Yes, I know that's a little work but it'll be a lot more work to stay with this woman. It won't be long before she'll be gone on her own accord anyway...so you may as well beat her to the punch. And I could go on and on and on.... Link to post Share on other sites
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