myrakle Posted May 26, 2007 Share Posted May 26, 2007 The man i love more than anything else in the world thinks i am going to cheat on him and i am starting to have a hard time dealing with it since we have been together i stopped talking to all of my old friends that were guys to respect him i dont ever talk to guys and everyday he says something about what i he thinks im going to do. He doesnt even say that he thinks im going to cheat he says "Eventually u are going to find someone else" Now it is really starting to hurt my feelings someone please help me and tell me what i should do. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 26, 2007 Share Posted May 26, 2007 He obviously has issues about cheating, maybe a previous girlfriend cheated on him, or something happened growing up - His parents could have cheated on eachother...Either way, he has insecurities and he needs to learn to trust you and not think you're going to cheat on him. He needs therapy to get over his insecurities or atleast he needs to TRY to trust you and not assume the worst. Does he see ANY good in the relationship? Or is he just focussing on the "what if's" too much. Do you two have fun together? Link to post Share on other sites
peace_pipe Posted May 26, 2007 Share Posted May 26, 2007 The truth of the matter is, if you consider it in percentages.... Most people do cheat several times in their life times. Not for me, but many do. Link to post Share on other sites
Carbine Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 If you're not a troll, or a prepubescent schoolgirl, then you're probably a saint. Or near enough. Jeez, you've given up your male friends for him? You must REALLY care about him to do that. I'd probably do anything to get my ex back, but if it came down to sacrificing my close male friends I'd have to think very hard about it. Anyway, sainthood or not, it's a tactic that's not going to work. May I ask, do you have a male boss at work? If yes, then you may as well start looking for a new job - one where the boss is female - because that'll be the next thing on the list to go. What about sports? Do you play sports and is your coach male a youngish male? Oh well he'd better blow a kiss goodbye to a chance of winning state champs this season coz one of his best players just got struck down by a severe case of "respect". Ooh yeah, and what about the nice guy who works at the convenience store down the road?? There goes his business from you...from now on you'll be trekking all the way across town to buy your milk and bread to the other store with the female cashier...do you see my point??? The man i love more than anything else in the world thinks i am going to cheat on him..."Eventually u are going to find someone else" I can suggest a really great self-help book that you can buy for him. It's called 'How to Revamp Your Psychic Abilities - Because the Ones You Have Suck Bigtime'. Grrr. Look...if his issues are that bad - regardless of the cause - then there's absolutely NOTHING you can say to reassure him or put his mind at ease. Trust me, the more you try, the worse it'll get. STOP taking the bait. IGNORE him, tell him to BACK OFF, or GO into another room - whatever, but don't keep playing his game. You also can't predict the future; who knows if you'll end up together? So don't even bother feeling guilty about this. So... Apparently The bottom line, is that if you cheat on him he'll be shattered, ruined and emotionally disfigured for life, right?? If you don't cheat, his life will be nothing but sunshine, lemondrops, rainbows and lollypops *stifles urge to dryretch*. So what do you think you'll do? You sound like you're not planning on cheating anytime soon, if ever. In which case it's Problem Solved. You're not going to do anything wrong, so get on with your life and let him stress about it for as long as he needs to. Let him moan, cry, suffer insomnia. Let him interrogate your friends about what you get up to 'behind his back'. Let him secretly follow you down the street, hack into your email, tap your phone and install f**king surveillance equipment in the house if that satisfies him. At the end of the day, you're conscience is completely clear and he'll come up with nothing. There you go; a Fairytale Ending. That's if you want him that badly... Worst Case Scenario a) : time does NOT heal his paranoia and he begins to behave in a way that makes you realise things have gone way too far. Get legal help or threaten to call in the crisis assessment team. Leave him until he wakes up to himself. Worst Case Scenario b): he's the one who goes out and cheats. Cut off his balls...yes, BOTH of 'em! Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 The man i love more than anything else in the world thinks i am going to cheat on him and i am starting to have a hard time dealing with it since we have been together i stopped talking to all of my old friends that were guys to respect him i dont ever talk to guys and everyday he says something about what i he thinks im going to do. He doesnt even say that he thinks im going to cheat he says "Eventually u are going to find someone else" Now it is really starting to hurt my feelings someone please help me and tell me what i should do. My ex was like this. And he drove me insane. I ended up breaking up with him because in the end he tried to control my FEMALE friends as well. he thought they were all "sluts" and if I hung out with them, I would be a "slut" too. your R is doomed unless he gets help for his insecurities. Link to post Share on other sites
imonyourside Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 ha me too, my current bf labels all my friends as "sluts" or "druggies" and doesn't want me hanging out with them........arghhhh anyway yeah this guy has some problems. if you can knock some sense into him, try and remind him that if you wanted to cheat, you would. and him giving you sh#t about it every day doesn't help the situation. tell him that after him saying that everyday, he is pushing you away slowly to where your mind is becoming convinced that you sHOULD infact find someone else. with his insecurities, i don't know if you could tell him any of that without him freaking out. hopefully you can explain to him though that his comments wont help out any situation. if he wants to keep you, he needs to keep his mouth shut on certain topics like this Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 ha me too, my current bf labels all my friends as "sluts" or "druggies" and doesn't want me hanging out with them........arghhhh I hope you aren't my ex's new GF...!! Link to post Share on other sites
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