Would you love to tell?

[justagirliegirl]

And you would think it "funny" would you if the bs harmed herself. You need to grow up.

 

I know of an OM who thought it was OK to tell his MW's husband in order to force a decision.

Two days later the husband was found swinging from the apple tree at the end of the garden. The wife wanted nothing to do with the OM and the kids are completely messed up.

Still find it amusing do you???

 

Yes it is funny. You are being a bit dramatic.

 

The OP confessed to her H and he isn't swinging from a tree is he?

 

What really happens is the snake slithers back to his wife and lays low for awhile and then he seeks out another woman to have an affair with. Most of these people are serial cheaters. They are counting on not being found out or someone telling on them. Where is the cheater's responsibility or consequences in all this? Seems like they get off scott free. What they really fear about the wife finding out is she will find an evil lawyer who will take him for everything he has. That is his real fear.

 

What would be even funnier is if OP's MM found out HIS wife had been cheating on him! Now that would be a hoot!

 

solution is keep your pee pee at home where it belongs and none of these problems would exist.

[Meaplus3]

You can't trust him with what he says about her.

 

I'm trying to help you too.

You asked for opinions on telling the wife that you had an affair with her husband. I gave you mine.

 

I think you'll do more damage - beyond what you've already done.

 

I don't mean to be rude and I'm speaking from the POV of a man who has deeply hurt another betrayed man. My understanding that he was an a**hole, did not make what I did OK.

 

I stil say LL made a good point above.

It's hard to ignore what she said?

 

You make a Good point by saying I can't "trust '" what he's say's. I guess I trusted to much at the start of the A and that's what kept me hooked on to it.

 

AP:)

[Meaplus3]

"What really happens is the snake slithers back to his wife and lays low for awhile and then he seeks out another woman to have an affair with. Most of these people are serial cheaters. They are counting on not being found out or someone telling on them."

 

justagirliegirl, I believe what you said here to be very true.

[justagirliegirl]

Maybe someone should send a note to the cheater MM and say his wife is having an affair! I'm sure he would very understanding!

[justagirliegirl]

"What really happens is the snake slithers back to his wife and lays low for awhile and then he seeks out another woman to have an affair with. Most of these people are serial cheaters. They are counting on not being found out or someone telling on them."

 

justagirliegirl, I believe what you said here to be very true.

 

I get the impression you have suffered enough pain from this situation not to let it happen again. The MM lied and lied and he hung you out to dry to save his marriage. He lied to her saying you were coming on to him making him out to be an angel and you some desperate tart. How humiliating. Then you were brave enough to tell you H what happened. MM has suffered no consequences.

 

If you are unhappy in your marriage, either work on the marriage together or get out. Affairs may be short term fun but end up to be long term messes.

 

 

Best wishes in getting things straightened out.

[GregsBad]

I don't see any concern over anyone else's best interest.

 

You've already said enough to show you're disgusted with her.

This isn't about you wanting to let her know the truth for her sake. You want to hurt her, don't you?

 

If my wife cheated, I'd want to know.

 

If her lover told me out of wanting to let me know the truth, it would hurt bad enough. But if he showed even a hint of what is so clear in your writings, I'd see through it easily, and it would be even that much worse.

 

Getting your husband to do the deed for you won't change a thing.

 

You did what you did. You f*cked a slithering snake.

You owned up to it which is great.

But now, from my POV, you're out to hurt her.

 

Why would you want to do that? Well, you've already said why.

[bigblueeyes]

I would never tell MM's W about our affair - even if she asked me. His reasons for cheating is for him to talk to her about, not me.

 

To me it sounds like you are trying to blame someone else for your own problems, ie MM's W. Which is so wacked if you ask me. I can understand BW blaming only the OW for the affair, but what is there to blame BW for??

 

Leave this woman alone for God's sake. Sort out you own life and get on with it.

 

If you start meddling in her life instead of dealing with your own issues, you'll just add more problems to your world and sounds like you have enough.

 

And whatever MM told you, remember you only have his version of things!!!

[mopar crazy]

LL is making a good point here.

 

You have no idea of how you can screw things up.

Much MORE damage on top of what you already did with the affair.

 

I think it's sick to be obsessing over letting the MM's wife know.

I think it's sick that one of your responders suggested to do it anonymously.

 

GB, I was the one that stated she should do it anonymously. I think a BW should know her H is having an A. But then again I guess some W would rather not know, but I would want to know. I wouldn't want to feel like a stupid fool not knowing my H had been having an A and I had no clue. I don't know any woman that wouldn't want to know if her H was cheating.

 

So, GB do you think the OP should just keep her mouth shut and not say a word about her A w/ this woman's H? Don't ya think she has the right to know she is M to a cheating *****bag of a H? My friends told me about my H A. Was I suppose to hate them b/c they told me and brought on the pain, the tears, the hurt, the vomiting, the hell I went through? No, I don't hate them at all, I was glad they told me and even told them that. While I do agree she shouldn't be the one telling her as the OW, that is why I said to do it anonymously. Just a little letter stating that she thought she should know but her H is having an A w/ some OW. She shouldn't tell her in the letter she is the OW, but someone who thought she should know.

 

About the man that committed suicide b/c he found out about his W A. This is sad, very sad, but there was obviously other mental issues that he was having, the A was the straw that broke the camels back and it's a shame. I feel so sorry for the children.

[Woman Whisperer]

OK, let me see if I have this right.

 

You got into the affair because you were having marriage problems and needed support

and you're the kind of woman who see's the good in everyone and just sort of gullible ....

Who could blame you for that?

 

Then the ball-less weasle (according to SeenItAll)

couldn't keep his pee-pee at home (according to girlygirl)

and took advantage of you.

He's clearly a slithering snake, for sure.

 

Then Romeo and Juliet "had a blow up" where she threatened to tell his wife.

Whoa!!!! That would scare the crap out any weasle-snake.

So he ran home to cook up some damage control.

He concocted a little cover story - making you look like a serious little flirt (not a neighbood adulteress)

and his duped wife wants to be buddies with you.

Ooooh what a bitch she must be ... just ask the snake!

 

But here's where you've told something (well sort of told) that may be revealing.

YOU ran home and confessed to your husband, who hasn't thrown you away.

Sounds like you managed a little damage control of your own. And he kept you.

Way ta go!!!

 

So now it turns out that although you made a big mistake, you took responsibility.

Nice! Clearly superior to all the others around you.

 

And you're pissed that Romeo got off so easy.

 

I think you're a sneeky snake too

You can't stop obsessing about what's going on next door.

You're itching to tell the little twit that you've had her husand between your legs.

I know some chicks enjoy that kind of thing.

 

And you tend to gravitate toward ball-less men.

[GregsBad]

GB, I was the one that stated she should do it anonymously. I think a BW should know her H is having an A. But then again I guess some W would rather not know, but I would want to know. I wouldn't want to feel like a stupid fool not knowing my H had been having an A and I had no clue. I don't know any woman that wouldn't want to know if her H was cheating.

 

So, GB do you think the OP should just keep her mouth shut and not say a word about her A w/ this woman's H? Don't ya think she has the right to know she is M to a cheating *****bag of a H? My friends told me about my H A. Was I suppose to hate them b/c they told me and brought on the pain, the tears, the hurt, the vomiting, the hell I went through? No, I don't hate them at all, I was glad they told me and even told them that. While I do agree she shouldn't be the one telling her as the OW, that is why I said to do it anonymously. Just a little letter stating that she thought she should know but her H is having an A w/ some OW. She shouldn't tell her in the letter she is the OW, but someone who thought she should know.

 

About the man that committed suicide b/c he found out about his W A. This is sad, very sad, but there was obviously other mental issues that he was having, the A was the straw that broke the camels back and it's a shame. I feel so sorry for the children.

 

Yes Mopar, I think any BS deserves and needs to know the truth.

 

But not from the woman he slept with, with an attitude like she is demonstrating.

 

AP hs an attitude that will cause more damage than good.

 

How would you feel if your husband's mistress came to you with her attitude? Thinking you're a bitch and a phoney neighbood "facade" woman who the other neighbors don't like either. I've read this thread and that's what I get from AP. BTW "Attitude" is as revealed to observers, which is what we are. I SEE the attitude and that makes me suspicious of her motive.

 

Your FRIENDS told you because they care about you. Not the same!

 

She's NOT talking about "doing the right thing" (like your friends). No, she wants to hurt somone.

Sicking the husband on the couple will have the exact same damage.

 

This is one situation where I think AP and her husband need to take care of themselves and forget about the neighbors.

[mopar crazy]

Yes Mopar, I think any BS deserves and needs to know the truth.

 

But not from the woman he slept with, with an attitude like she is demonstrating.

 

AP hs an attitude that will cause more damage than good.

 

How would you feel if your husband's mistress came to you with her attitude? Thinking you're a bitch and a phoney neighbood "facade" woman who the other neighbors don't like either. I've read this thread and that's what I get from AP. BTW "Attitude" is as revealed to observers, which is what we are. I SEE the attitude and that makes me suspicious of her motive.

 

Your FRIENDS told you because they care about you. Not the same!

 

She's NOT talking about "doing the right thing" (like your friends). No, she wants to hurt somone.

Sicking the husband on the couple will have the exact same damage.

 

This is one situation where I think AP and her husband need to take care of themselves and forget about the neighbors.

 

 

I haven't read through the whole thread, just skimmed through it so I will do that. No, if the OW came to me w/ an attitude like "I slept w/ your H and he liked it and blah, blah, blah" then no, I wouldn't want to hear it that way but if I did I would be off the phone w/ her and finding out where she lives and confronting the bitch face to face.

 

From what you stated the OP is just that way, trying to rub into the BW face and that is not the reason to tell.

[GregsBad]

About the man that committed suicide b/c he found out about his W A. This is sad, very sad, but there was obviously other mental issues that he was having, the A was the straw that broke the camels back and it's a shame. I feel so sorry for the children.

 

I don't think any of us are thinking she'll hang herself. Just be devastated.

 

To read about her through AP's words, shes a little off balance.

AP is a little off balance too.

 

If AP shows herself as a bitch confronting the wife ...

and being permanent neighbors ... I can't think about this - I'm getting queezy!

 

Nope! AP and MM not only cheated.

They both sh*t in their own well.

 

I hope that cooler heads prevail in the AP home.

[Ruby Tuesday]

If you were so concerned about right and wrong, then maybe you shouldnt have been modeling your teddy for your next door neighbor while hubby was at work, providing a home and money for his sick, spoiled, selfish WW. You know what? I think you're just jealous because she has what you want (MM) and you're not going to be happy until you get whatever it is you are after.

 

Just remember you helped put your marriage in the toilet, you went after a MM and helped try to put his marriage in the toilet. Do you not sense the self destruction you create everywhere around you? No of course you don't. It's everybody elses fault. Who are you to toy with peoples lives? You think you're so seperate from the xMM? And I'll bet you'd love to tell because it shows everyone just how manipulative and mean spirited you really are inside.

 

You're no victim, AP. Not even close.

 

For God's sakes you are even jealous when she puts flowers out on her porch at Christmastime. So, I think, perhaps, someone should warn her about you and not the other way around. You do realize it's a crime to stalk people and harass them. Their marriage is none of your business. It never was in the first place. LEAVE THE BW AND XMM ALONE!!!

[Meaplus3]

If you were so concerned about right and wrong, then maybe you shouldnt have been modeling your teddy for your next door neighbor while hubby was at work, providing a home and money for his sick, spoiled, selfish WW. You know what? I think you're just jealous because she has what you want (MM) and you're not going to be happy until you get whatever it is you are after.

 

Just remember you helped put your marriage in the toilet, you went after a MM and helped try to put his marriage in the toilet. Do you not sense the self destruction you create everywhere around you? No of course you don't. It's everybody elses fault. Who are you to toy with peoples lives? You think you're so seperate from the xMM? And I'll bet you'd love to tell because it shows everyone just how manipulative and mean spirited you really are inside.

 

You're no victim, AP. Not even close.

 

For God's sakes you are even jealous when she puts flowers out on her porch at Christmastime. So, I think, perhaps, someone should warn her about you and not the other way around. You do realize it's a crime to stalk people and harass them. Their marriage is none of your business. It never was in the first place. LEAVE THE BW AND XMM ALONE!!!

 

Just the kind of response I would expect from you RUBY! You clearly are of no help to anyone on these board's IMO.

 

AP

[Meaplus3]

OK, let me see if I have this right.

 

You got into the affair because you were having marriage problems and needed support

and you're the kind of woman who see's the good in everyone and just sort of gullible ....

Who could blame you for that?

 

Then the ball-less weasle (according to SeenItAll)

couldn't keep his pee-pee at home (according to girlygirl)

and took advantage of you.

He's clearly a slithering snake, for sure.

 

Then Romeo and Juliet "had a blow up" where she threatened to tell his wife.

Whoa!!!! That would scare the crap out any weasle-snake.

So he ran home to cook up some damage control.

He concocted a little cover story - making you look like a serious little flirt (not a neighbood adulteress)

and his duped wife wants to be buddies with you.

Ooooh what a bitch she must be ... just ask the snake!

 

But here's where you've told something (well sort of told) that may be revealing.

YOU ran home and confessed to your husband, who hasn't thrown you away.

Sounds like you managed a little damage control of your own. And he kept you.

Way ta go!!!

 

So now it turns out that although you made a big mistake, you took responsibility.

Nice! Clearly superior to all the others around you.

 

And you're pissed that Romeo got off so easy.

 

I think you're a sneeky snake too

You can't stop obsessing about what's going on next door.

You're itching to tell the little twit that you've had her husand between your legs.

I know some chicks enjoy that kind of thing.

 

And you tend to gravitate toward ball-less men.

 

 

 

Just want to clarify one thing here I did not have a SEXUAL affair! This was an ea.

 

AP

[GregsBad]

Just want to clarify one thing here I did not have a SEXUAL affair! This was an ea.

 

AP

 

By Emotional Affair, do you mean you had no sex with him?

Or do you mean that there was sex but also some emotional bonding?

 

I don't know? I'm just asking.

[Meaplus3]

By Emotional Affair, do you mean you had no sex with him?

Or do you mean that there was sex but also some emotional bonding?

 

I don't know? I'm just asking.

 

That's right! NO SEX, I think that's easy to understand. Emotional bonding YES. You clearly have not read my thread's and post's. Also you called me a "Little off balance", Well who wouldn't be when they are in the middle of trying to sort out a marriage and live nextdoor to a mm that they had and ea with?

 

AP

[GregsBad]

That's right! NO SEX, I think that's easy to understand. Emotional bonding YES. You clearly have not read my thread's and post's. Also you called me a "Little off balance", Well who wouldn't be when they are in the middle of trying to sort out a marriage and live nextdoor to a mm that they had and ea with?

 

AP

 

I read the posts in THIS thread and all I saw was AFFAIR. And given the big question herein "Should you tell?" I assumed you had sex with him.

 

So then he took advantage of you how? And he's a slithery snake for what again?

 

I mean if you go and tell his wife that you had an EA but no sex, if she were a nice person and trusted that you didn't bang each other ....

 

No wait, HE told her that ... um ...

 

Aw sh*t! I'm totally confused! All this has been about a non-sexual affair?

 

Somebody help here!

[Woman Whisperer]

Wake up Greg! We told you he is ball-less.

[mopar crazy]

I know how you feel Greg, I thought it involved sex too.

[Meaplus3]

I read the posts in THIS thread and all I saw was AFFAIR. And given the big question herein "Should you tell?" I assumed you had sex with him.

 

So then he took advantage of you how? And he's a slithery snake for what again?

 

I mean if you go and tell his wife that you had an EA but no sex, if she were a nice person and trusted that you didn't bang each other ....

 

No wait, HE told her that ... um ...

 

Aw sh*t! I'm totally confused! All this has been about a non-sexual affair?

 

Somebody help here!

 

Greg, Sorry if I confused you by using "A" instead of ea. Normally I write ea if you read back through my post's you will see that, however it does not matter it was an Affair.

 

AP

[Ruby Tuesday]

I read the posts in THIS thread and all I saw was AFFAIR. And given the big question herein "Should you tell?" I assumed you had sex with him.

 

So then he took advantage of you how? And he's a slithery snake for what again?

 

I mean if you go and tell his wife that you had an EA but no sex, if she were a nice person and trusted that you didn't bang each other ....

 

No wait, HE told her that ... um ...

 

Aw sh*t! I'm totally confused! All this has been about a non-sexual affair?

 

Somebody help here!

 

That would be right. AP lives next door to this married couple, watching them everyday and waiting to mess up their lives over a very brief EA with the xMM.

 

And neither BW, BH, or even xMM are aware of the ongoing problem AP has with letting go of the "affair" for that matter. She's like a bomb waiting to go off on all of them.

 

Oh yeah, she forgot to say that there's kids are involved too. On both sides of the property line. They will just be more casualties of her "affair" if she makes up her crazy mind to ruin their lives too.

 

Ask her if she really cares about any of them because it's obvious to me she isn't concerened with anyone else but AP.

 

AP, Dont mess with me lady. I'm not the one out to ruin my family. Who the hell are you to judge me. You are out of your mind.

[NoIDidn't]

AP

 

Don't tell. If I were the W and its been over for a couple of months, I would just think of you as some crazy stalker and would tell the rest of my neighbors to avoid you.

 

The outcome of telling is not good for you whether you or your husband tell. You both will come off as bitter and vengeful.

 

Let him think he got away with something. His next OP might not be as nice as you.

[GregsBad]

AP,

 

That's right. You never refered to this as an EA in this thread. I don't believe that you just slipped and accidentaly called your thing an "affair".

NO WOMAN WOULD BE THAT STUPID! As to constantly refer to this as an affair.

 

You have presented the whole scenario as an affair. Now you want to pretend that you didn't mean to imply that you banged him. I think you're spinning this back downwards for a reason. It doesn't take a genious to think of a few reasons.

 

Expecting readers to search OTHER threads is rediculous.

 

C'mon AP - you banged him didn't you? No woman could have slipped out so much information otherwise. People don't grow this much bitterness unless sex was involved.

 

You're anonymous here .... can't get real advice without giving he real picture!

 

Why is he such a snake and how did he take advantage of you if there was no sex?

[GreenEyedLady]

You have presented the whole scenario as an affair. Now you want to pretend that you didn't mean to imply that you banged him. I think you're spinning this back downwards for a reason. It doesn't take a genious to think of a few reasons.Expecting readers to search OTHER threads is rediculous. C'mon AP - you banged him didn't you? /quote]

 

You're somewhat new here...AP has since the beginning said that this was an Emotional Affair...I know because I've been here for awhile...

 

Yes, there are such things as EA's...I know it's hard for men to believe that...