Married man cheats

[libra77]

The facts... He's been married for 3 years. With her about 12. They have a 3 year old little girl. We have been 'seeing' each other for about 11 weeks. we met through a mutual friend who now (because he apparently has much higher level of moral decency than either of us or so he thinks) doesn't want anything to do with me but has to talk to him because they have to work together. So i have regretably lost one of the best friendships i have ever had in this process.

 

His marriage was over long before i was on the scene. I never premeditated any of this although our mutual friend thinks differently. I don't think you can help who you have feelings for but i do think you can help how you deal with a situation. I've started to feel so bad. Not that i ever thought this was right, but i've started to REALLY think, what about her, how would i feel if i was her, i would want the other woman to have the decency to step away and at least let me and my husband sort out our issues before trying to stray him away.

 

I don't think he's happy. He says he's fine. He wants everyone to be happy and for everything to be fine but you can't live your life a lie. You can't keep living as though your in two worlds and that it's ok. You have to live life as honestly and fully as you can. I dont' steal or lie or cheat people... but maybe i do... i'm stealing time away from his life with her. It's not fair to any of us. I love him but having said that... am i going to live my life in fear. Will he go bakc to her, will he cheat on me 'once a cheater, always a cheater'.

 

i think they got married as a matter of progression, not because they were in love with one another. But hey, it's only my interpretation! They were together from age 18. They got married, brought the wedding forward because she got pregnant - basically had a simple wedding and i'm sure it was right for them at the time. When i asked him if he was happy the day he got married he said, and i quote...'i think everyone is'... not yes i really was happy, or i thought so at the time or yes i was really in love with her then, or any number of statements that would indicate that he was truly in love but 'i think everyone is'.

 

Do i step away and let him sort this out? He left her after 5 weeks of seeing me but went back after 2 away because she was pregnant (after i encouraged him because he has an obligation as a father and a husband to try harder and to give it his best shot) she lost the baby after he was back for a week (was it a sham on her behalf i wonder) he's still there because he doesn't want to hurt her but he is lying to her by staying and not being in love with her.

 

How the hell do people get themselves into these situations i ask you... they get selfish... that's how... not consideration at the time for consequence, just consideration for ones own feelings and how good it feels. I think your better off being true to yourself and living life as honestly as you can. We do learn by our mistakes. I've never cheated on anyone before but i feel like i'm cheating because he should have ended it with her before he started something with me.

 

It's become an emotional affair because were not having sex. I told him no sex until the situation is right! But will i feel the same for him once he's left her which .... even in my experience.... without conning myself... i believe he is about to do. He over it and was over it before i was in the picture... i think i just gave him the courage a man needs to move on!!!

 

AAAAA

what do i do. as brutal as it needs to be... what do i do?