Is he playing games?

[jamie]

I met a great guy through a dating ad I placed online. We met at a starbucks about a month and a half ago, and we really hit it off.

 

Since then, he calls almost every day and is very affectionate and generous. Here's the problem:

 

We are both very busy, but he makes plans with me and either cancels them or reduces the amount of time he has to spend with me because he's busy. I don't have a problem with his working hard, in fact it is a turn-on. My problem is that he is unapologetic about how he makes plans and reduces them back, almost as if they were never made. We have never spent an entire afternoon together, and we have not slept together.

 

Tuesday, he told me he was going snowboarding in Vermont for the weekend. I asked if he was available Thursday night before he went away, and he said yes, and then either forgot to call or purposely didn't. I'm not sure if he's playing games, sending me a message, or is a space cadet. I guess I am expecting a lot too fast. Anyone have any advice?

[Jim]

Hmm..

 

As for playing games? I don`t think he is.. infact hes living his side of his life, his way.. Most men (especially those who haven`t been in a relationship for a while) don`t see that they are doing this, infact I remember that I spent 6 months 'pissing-off' a girl because I living two lives.. one for her, and one for my time.. You might want to get involved in his work, or hobbies..

 

If hes a business man, then hes got work on his mind - hes also probably stressed :-)

 

Let us know, how it goes..

 

Jim

[Simmer]

I met a great guy through a dating ad I placed online. We met at a starbucks about a month and a half ago, and we really hit it off. Since then, he calls almost every day and is very affectionate and generous. Here's the problem: We are both very busy, but he makes plans with me and either cancels them or reduces the amount of time he has to spend with me because he's busy. I don't have a problem with his working hard, in fact it is a turn-on. My problem is that he is unapologetic about how he makes plans and reduces them back, almost as if they were never made. We have never spent an entire afternoon together, and we have not slept together. Tuesday, he told me he was going snowboarding in Vermont for the weekend. I asked if he was available Thursday night before he went away, and he said yes, and then either forgot to call or purposely didn't. I'm not sure if he's playing games, sending me a message, or is a space cadet. I guess I am expecting a lot too fast. Anyone have any advice?

 

Doesn't sound as if he's playing games, sounds more like he's self-centered. It's a good thing you haven't slept with him yet or gotten too involved because he probably is only concered with pleasing himself. You or anyone else may never be 1st on his priority list.

[michele]

Hmm.. As for playing games? I don`t think he is.. infact hes living his side of his life, his way.. Most men (especially those who haven`t been in a relationship for a while) don`t see that they are doing this, infact I remember that I spent 6 months 'pissing-off' a girl because I living two lives.. one for her, and one for my time.. You might want to get involved in his work, or hobbies.. If hes a business man, then hes got work on his mind - hes also probably stressed :-) Let us know, how it goes.. Jim I believe he is very inconsiderate,of your feelings, He is being very selfish. It seems that if you were so important in his life he wouldn't cancel or at least call. If he is doing this right now, in the first stages, what's down the line, more heartaches and frustations. do you deserve this. No! Run from this potential relationship, he seems unworthy of you.

Michele

[Jamie]

Thanks to those who responded.

 

I am very disheartened and feel very alone right now. All of the promise of this new relationship has been thrown out the window, which is such a sad shame. I don't know what to even think--he came back from Vermont on Sunday and never even called. I am tired of investing and opening up to new people only to be the last consideration in someone's life. Everyone will say to move on, and that I am worth more than that, but it just doesn't seem fair.

[Simmer]

Thanks to those who responded. I am very disheartened and feel very alone right now. All of the promise of this new relationship has been thrown out the window, which is such a sad shame. I don't know what to even think--he came back from Vermont on Sunday and never even called. I am tired of investing and opening up to new people only to be the last consideration in someone's life. Everyone will say to move on, and that I am worth more than that, but it just doesn't seem fair.

 

Hey, been there, done that! When it comes to finding new partners we seem to be attracted to the same type without realizing it. I've been married twice to abusive men. Now I think I have finally found someone who is very gentle and sweet. I had decided to "dis" all men, when this one came out of left field. Don't give up just yet.