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Can somebody explain this to me about my friend's wife?


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A friend of mine that lives across the street is going through a nasty divorce and it is getting ugly. She cheated on him and left him for another man. She gave him the typical speech about how she needs to find herself and she fell out of love with him while blaming him for everything. He begged, pleaded and tried to be super husband but it did no good so he gave up and filed for divorce and that is when the **** hit the fan. She got mad at him for not trying harder to save the marriage and accused him of being a coward. He has found out that he is so much happier with her feels like the warden has moved out of the prison as he puts it. It is great seeing my friend go from a spineless nice guy to a strong man. He is throwing a bog BBQ tommorow to celebrate.

 

He had paid most of the mortgage on their house so he cut her a check fir her half of the house and kicked her out. One day he called in sick and when she came home from work all her stuff was on the porch and the locks were changed. The other day she was banging on his door and accusing him of being heartless because he is moving on so fast. He just wants her to sign the divorce papers so he can move on but she is fighting him every inch of the way. She was the one that wanted out so why is she so mad that he is so eager to give it to her?

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Because he "maned-up" and women find that very attractive in a man! :p:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

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DesperateDad

That's so true. Being a pushover will just make your spouse, man or woman, treat you like crap. In my case, the nicer and more accommodating I got, the less respect she had for me and the more time spent abusing that freedom by getting involved with another man. This guy is awesome! I should have done the same thing as soon as I suspected...

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The funny thing is that he is the last guy I would expect to grow some balls. He is a macho guy at all. He is more the sensitive and soft spoken poet type of guy but he has impressed me very much with his actions.

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She was the one that wanted out so why is she so mad that he is so eager to give it to her?

coz he took the initiative to file for divorce and also cause he did something out of character. he now has the upper hand psychologically cause he's dumping her. we all know how women hate to give up the upper hand.

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Lady Aurora
coz he took the initiative to file for divorce and also cause he did something out of character. he now has the upper hand psychologically cause he's dumping her. we all know how women hate to give up the upper hand.

 

I would agree. That and in her mind, she was the one that was supposed to be breaking up with him. She is ticked that he did not become a quivering mass of jello left to pine away for her. He has taken initiative, and is getting on with his life. That messed up her little mental picture of the "the way things are supposed to work" and it pisses her off. She was expecting him to roll over and take it one more time. Good for him that he didn't.

 

Aura

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Curmudgeon
coz he took the initiative to file for divorce and also cause he did something out of character. he now has the upper hand psychologically cause he's dumping her. we all know how women hate to give up the upper hand.

 

I don't know about that in general but it was certainly true of the ex. She had it all figured out, planned to leave me, already had someone else on the sidelines, had prepped our children to hate me then left and filed for legal separation. Three days after I was served I responded with a counter-filing for divorce.

 

None of those half-way measures for me. She'd also filed a trumped-up domestic violence restraining order which I had the court rescind as it was falsely based. The ex has hated me ever since (13 years now) because I took control away from her and also because, by filing for divorce, I "rejected" her. Those are powerful blows to a narcissist!

 

Good for Woggle's neighbor. My first reaction to receiving the final divorce order was a profound sense of relief. I'm guessing his will be the same. Sometimes when you step back from a bad relationship you discover just how confining and restricting it's been. Both are unpleasant.

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His wife also blames me for putting ideas in his head. My friend did say that seeing my good marriage makes him realize that he deserves better than what he had but that is not my fault. I think that the type of women that do what his ex did get off on leaving a man heartbroken and lonely and he took that away from her. She was gearing up to take his heart and rip it to shreds and now she finds out she doesn't even have his heart anymore.

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She was gearing up to take his heart and rip it to shreds and now she finds out she doesn't even have his heart anymore.

hahaha isn't that great???! Nothing like pulling the rug out from under her high-heeled tootsies :laugh:

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Her other man also dumped her. He only wanted to get laid and he moved on to another woman. My friend laughed in her face about it when she showed up at his house the other day.

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LucreziaBorgia

I agree with what was posted, and I would add here also that there is the 'safety net' factor. It sounds like she wasn't expecting it to be jerked out from under her so quickly, and she is probably insulted that he let her go so 'easily', and is now wondering why. And she got dumped by OM too? Rich, I tell you.

 

I commend your friend for doing exactly what needed to be done when the time came to do it.

 

Your friend has quite a fight on his hands, but hopefully with strength and determination he can pry this stubborn barnacle of a stbxW off of him and move on with his life.

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Curmudgeon
...he can pry this stubborn barnacle .... off of him...

 

What a perfect discription. Unsightly and irritating. May I use it?

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Woggle, you had another set of friends...the one where the H completely blindsided his wonderful wife by cheating on her, even though she did did everything for him to make his life good. How did she deal with the cheating? Are they getting a divorce? Who filed?

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Darth Vader
Because he "maned-up" and women find that very attractive in a man! :p:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 

 

Speaking of "Manning Up", Gunny go read the lastest Thread in OM OW Thread, by Forbidden Fruit. Or just track my posts whatever is easier. You may like it.

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Woggle, you had another set of friends...the one where the H completely blindsided his wonderful wife by cheating on her, even though she did did everything for him to make his life good. How did she deal with the cheating? Are they getting a divorce? Who filed?

 

That was my wife's friend and she is filing for divorce. She decided to forgive him at first but he is still seeing her.

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My friend is beyond cold blooded. She comes by the house almost every other day and he won't even let her in. He comes outside and talks to her and sometimes just slips things through the mail slot. Today she was over there complaining that the air conditioner is broken in her apartment so why doesn't he let her stay for a few days while she gets a new one. His view is that if he lets her back in she won't leave and he is probably right so he said no. She was whining that she is hot in her apartment and she can't live there so he gets one of those keychain fans that cost a buck and slips it through the mail slot. She fumes at him and then leaves. I am taking this guy out this weekend just to comend him on growing some serious balls. Even I felt a little bad for her but only for a second.

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notspiritual

He’s right not to let her in or she will change the locks and cheat on him in his house. Buy him an extra beer for me.

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re:

 

Woggle: " He had paid most of the mortgage on their house so he cut her a check fir her half of the house and kicked her out. One day he called in sick and when she came home from work all her stuff was on the porch and the locks were changed. The other day she was banging on his door and accusing him of being heartless because he is moving on so fast. He just wants her to sign the divorce papers so he can move on but she is fighting him every inch of the way. She was the one that wanted out so why is she so mad that he is so eager to give it to her?"

 

 

To answer that last question: Because the rent came due wherever it was they were playing house, and neither one of them wanted the day-to-day responsibility of their actions -just the drama, sex, and fun of it all- that's why!

 

My opinion: Let her sleep and eat in the hog slop of a life she made for herself.

 

It's one thing to realize you've made a mistake (he was apparently paying everything and taking care of her pretty well) -but it's quite another to view all you have and how well you've been treated with contempt by rubbing your benefactor's nose in it.

 

Then, later, return to resume the life you left behind with the stench of another man on you, and thinking (hoping like hell, more like it) that your old benefactor will forgive, forget, and receive you back with arms wide open.

 

She's getting exactly what she deserves.

 

Foolish, destructive people!!!

 

-Rio

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Why am I getting such joy out of seeing my friend completely turn the tables on this woman?

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Why am I getting such joy out of seeing my friend completely turn the tables on this woman?

cause its fun (and free) entertainment :laugh:

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Darth Vader
Why am I getting such joy out of seeing my friend completely turn the tables on this woman?

 

 

Maybe not what AM said, but, perhaps more like because you've seen the horrors of being treated badly by women, or have seen other men treated unfairly, or badly. It's something like reassurence that a man can legally kick a woman's :lmao: all over the place, and see at least one of them actually face reality in it's harshest forms, hence, your friend's STBXW! Maybe it's a pshyc thing, I dunno, in any case, he's not gonna let her ever get the upper hand on him ever again, and she can't stand it!

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Maybe not what AM said, but, perhaps more like because you've seen the horrors of being treated badly by women, or have seen other men treated unfairly, or badly. It's something like reassurence that a man can legally kick a woman's :lmao: all over the place, and see at least one of them actually face reality in it's harshest forms, hence, your friend's STBXW! Maybe it's a pshyc thing, I dunno, in any case, he's not gonna let her ever get the upper hand on him ever again, and she can't stand it!

 

I think that is it. He is going nuclear on her ass and it is good to see a man not lying down and taking it. He also filed on grounds of infidelity and emotional plus physical abuse so he has some legs to stand on in court. He also has my divorce lawyer who is known for winning damn near impossible cases for men. He has no desire to have her back even if she comes crying on her hands and knees and the only worry he has is the upcoming divorce battle. I really don't think she knows what she is in for because this guy chewed up my ex and spit her out.

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Why am I getting such joy out of seeing my friend completely turn the tables on this woman?

 

Because when it's the woman who is cheated on and treated like crap, she doesn't have the same resources to bully her ex.

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Look -I know it doesn't take much to get Woggle to jump on the bandwagon when it comes to trashing women- but in this case, he's taking the stand (or a similar one) that I would take (and I'm usually pretty lenient with even the most stupid people, male or female.)

 

I also recognize that nearly any resourceful, even semi-bright female on the edge of a divorce goes and finds herself a lawyer asap, and whether *she* knows the next step or not -*he* certainly does.

 

That includes being given enough ammo (from marriage dollars) to play volleyball (if she wants to) with the soon-to-be-ex-hubby, in most cases, and especially, if he's the one caught cheating.

 

She may be poorer in the future after the divorce, if she winds up having to live off *her* own generated income (par for the course for the lower salaries of most women) but she'll have access to money from the marriage to pay for her divorce, if she picked the right attorney.

 

And if her hubby cheated and she picked a really good attorney -she may never have to depend on her own salary!

 

However, it seems almost a sin for this particular woman Woggle is describing to even have access to marriage funds for her side of the divorce!

 

Of course, the whole turnout depends on which state -or country- you happen to be living in, and what caliber of an attorney you happen to choose.

 

-Rio

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