Take a look at this ring and tell me what you think

[K-os]

I've been lurking around here for awhile, but now I have a question. I'm planning to propose soon and am still deciding on a ring. My girl and I are not very concerned with tradition and not materialistic. I now I want to find something totally different for her, and I know she'll love something like that. And don't tell me she requires a $2k diamond solitare. That's fine for some people, but it's not us at all. I've been shearching around for weeks on the net and have been to a large number of stores in person. I've come across quite a few rings in all price ranges that are nice and would do the job, but only one has really stood out and stuck in my mind. The ring is just beautiful and matches her so well.

 

The only thing I'm affraid of is that it doesn't look "fancy" enough or enough like an engagement ring. My budget was originally set at $500 (give or take). This is a little under that, but that's not why I'm thinking of choosing it. I would like it just as much no matter what price it is was. I've seen a lot of other rings from drastically less to drastically more that have more and bigger stones. I guess I'm just a little worried that she'll be disapointed it doesn't have a bigger peridot center stone or lots of little diamonds around the sides.

 

Anyway take a look and tell me what you think. Thanks in advance!

 

http://www.antiquejewelrymall.com/r197per.html

[Star Gazer]

I've been lurking around here for awhile, but now I have a question. I'm planning to propose soon and am still deciding on a ring. My girl and I are not very concerned with tradition and not materialistic. I now I want to find something totally different for her, and I know she'll love something like that. And don't tell me she requires a $2k diamond solitare. That's fine for some people, but it's not us at all. I've been shearching around for weeks on the net and have been to a large number of stores in person. I've come across quite a few rings in all price ranges that are nice and would do the job, but only one has really stood out and stuck in my mind. The ring is just beautiful and matches her so well.

 

The only thing I'm affraid of is that it doesn't look "fancy" enough or enough like an engagement ring. My budget was originally set at $500 (give or take). This is a little under that, but that's not why I'm thinking of choosing it. I would like it just as much no matter what price it is was. I've seen a lot of other rings from drastically less to drastically more that have more and bigger stones. I guess I'm just a little worried that she'll be disapointed it doesn't have a bigger peridot center stone or lots of little diamonds around the sides.

 

Anyway take a look and tell me what you think. Thanks in advance!

 

 

Maybe I'm a materialistic biatch or something, but an engagement ring really does need to have a diamond, not a peridot. Why a peridot?? Assuming she's born in August and that's why you're choosing it, doesn't that make it traditional? The diamond doesn't have to be big, the ring doesn't have to be fancy, but this is a ring that she's going to have FOREVER...and ever...and ever... (G_d willing that your marriage lasts! )

 

I don't require the 2-months' salary rule, but I think if you make bank and are only willing to spend $500... hmm... That said, there are several rings on the site you posted under $500.

 

An engagement ring is about your future life together. That said, it's not about "us/you" it's about HER. What are HER tastes? What does her other jewelry look like? What is her style/lifestyle? You can find a ring with a diamond to fit anything...

[polywog]

Well, I'm not her, but I LOVE peridot. And the price, I would guess, is based on the gold and not the stone. I have an Art Deco ring with a largish Citrine surrounded by small diamonds in a setting of white gold that cost about the same, as Citrine is not fancy and the diamonds are tiny accents. Everyone comments on how much they love it.

 

Have you ever gone around with her to antique shops to see what she responds to, ringwise? And what sort of jewelry does she like/wear? That setting, while handsome, is specifically intricate. Great if she likes that sort of thing, but if she reponds to simpler rings, maybe not.

 

That being said, I think it's a lovely ring and it's touching that you feel it's "her" and have spent so much time looking... your intuition is probably spot on. Love the fact that it's an antique, by the way.

 

Lastly, I am no fan of diamond engagement rings. That phenomenon was a marketing blitz by the diamond companies early in this century. Before that, people bought all sorts of gemstone rings.

[Lishy]

With the risk of sounding materialistic (you did ask for opinions) I think that ring is awful!

 

I would be sooooooooo disappointed if my boyfriend presented that to me as an engagement ring, actually as any ring!

 

but that is ME ... She may be elated to recieve that!

 

I wish you a very happy engagment and marriage!

[Trialbyfire]

It's up to the two of you what you like. When buying an engagement ring, keep in mind that you will also be adding a wedding band to it, so you have to consider how it looks together.

 

Surf for estate jewelry. You will get a much better ring, for the same price.

[LucreziaBorgia]

It is a pretty ring - very pretty and that green is a nice color, but it doesn't look like an engagement ring and your girlfriend probably will not see it as one either. The setting just doesn't say 'engagement'. Certainly it says "I love you and think this would look beautiful on your hand", but I don't know that I would give it as an engagement ring. When she shows it off, I expect she wants people to look at it and not mistake it for anything else BUT an engagement ring. I'm not materialistic at all myself, but even I would want something that looked like an engagement ring. I looked around there and this one is also a periodot, and looks more like an engagement type ring:

 

http://www.antiquejewelrymall.com/r199wper.html

 

Maybe its just the setting? I dunno. Now its a bit more expensive, so it probably won't work with your budget - however, the solitaire setting just seems more traditional, and will fit better with a wedding band when the time comes.

[Star Gazer]

I agree with LB too - that it doesn't look like an engagement ring. It's a pretty ring in general, but it doesn't look like an engagement ring and you're going to have difficulty finding a wedding band that would go with it. I do like the one LB suggested, assuming you're stuck on the peridot.

[Trialbyfire]

Here's a citrine ring, along the lines of what poly mentioned. It's got more wow factor to it and is very reasonable. It's a 1950 1.75 ct oval citrine, in 14K white gold for $335.75. A very simple setting.

 

http://jewelry.ross-simons.com/perl/rssh0001.cgi?DETAIL=JERI%20231366%20067%204W

[polywog]

Girls, you should become personal shoppers! Great suggestions! I love the citrine, but I particularly like/love the one that LB picked out. I think it reads

"untraditional engagement ring" better than the rest because of the setting.

[Trialbyfire]

I missed LB's link. It's nice but you've bumped him up to twice the amount he wants to spend.

[corazoncito]

Just my 2 cents. May not jibe with what everyone else feels. I should also confess I'm not a fan of diamonds and I think engagement rings are kind of silly (for me). I'd say check out her jewelry and see what styles she likes. And the size she likes to wear too. Also take into account her lifestyle and work. You need to think of a ring she can feel comfortable wearing every day and not worry about losing or damaging. Also, are you dead set against involving her in the selection?

 

When my ex-fiance gave me my engagement ring, I LOVED how it looked. It was a ruby solitaire (July birthday) with two small diamond side stones in a platinum basket setting. I could have done without the diamonds, but the ruby was just a beautiful, rich shade or red, about 1 carat. Beautiful ring. Not like anything I would have ever picked for myself (I don't normally wear rings at all and didn't want him to get me one), but once I saw it I thought "who cares? It's gorgeous!".

 

Well, I discovered quickly on that it was very heavy and it felt like it was always just about to slide off my finger (and the fact that jewelry store refused to resize it because they couldn't believe my finger was really a 4.5 didn't help). It made me really nervous because I always felt like I was going to lose it and I knew it was expensive and he had put a lot of effort into picking it out. I walked around with my hand half clenched all the time. Plus, I also realized I am a total klutz because I was always accidentally whacking it into things (the ruby stuck out a lot from the setting) and I was worried about damaging the stones and setting. For my job, I do outdoor and laboratory work that involves metal tools and a lot of dirt, and I noticed when doing some microscope work that I was putting all kinds of dents into the setting and lots of dirt was getting between the setting and the stones. I started to worry about wearing it when I did that kind of work, the problem was that I do it all the time so it meant only wearing my ring on the weekends or around the house (which really hurt my ex-fiance's feeling and defeated the purpose of having it).

 

Ultimately we decided to end the engagement (for different reasons), so I don't know if maybe I would have found a way to live with the ring. I don't mean to sound shallow. I loved the ring, but it wasn't until I understood that I would have to deal with this every day for the rest of my life, that I began to see some of the practical side of jewelry selection.

 

Another woman in my field was recently proposed to and she has a ring not exactly like yours, but similar in that the stones don't protrude from the setting (instead of a solitaire it has a row of 7 tiny diamond chips. I think it's very elegant). That type of ring I think would be much more practical for what we do and still looks great. I guess it doesn't look like a traditional engagement ring, but she loves it and it fits her lifestyle. Actually, now that I think about it, most women I know in my field that have an engagement ring (and most don't) have some kind of setting where the stone is completely recessed into the ring, sort of like yours.

 

But the only thing that really matters is what works for your girlfriend.

[justagirliegirl]

I think you should find out somehow what she likes. Notice the type of jewelry she wears. What color stones. What color metal. What size. Are there multiple stones or just one.

 

You could ask her to look online at rings and to show you some that she would love.

 

This is a ring she will be wearing for a long time and you want her to love it. I would somehow include her in the choice.

[Lizzie60]

you know her better than anyone else...so if you think she would love a ring like this one...get it...

 

I personally don't like it... IMO it looks like a $50 ring and I don't like the ring TBF posted either... but it's your money, your taste, your girl...

 

I personally don't like engagement rings... I never saw one I like really... I like simple wedding bands... I'm not crazy about diamonds.

[K-os]

Thank you for all the replies and advice so far. I appreciate all of your opinions - even the ones that help confirm my worries. I'll try to address most of what's been brought up.

 

Getting a diamond ring (whether it's unique or not) is pretty much out of the question. That just seems so cliched and dull to me, and I know she would appreciate something with gemstones so much more. I want to get peridot because it's my birthstone. That way she can kind of carry me with her everywhere she goes (a bit corny I know :-b). It also happens to be the favorite color of us both. It would, however, be awesome to get something with diamond accents. That still isn't crucial though.

 

As far as making a wedding band work, I really don't think that's going to be much of an issue. I always thought the terms "wedding ring" and "engagement ring" were refering to the same thing. Now that I know the difference I find it to be a very strange an unappealing custom. We've talked about other people getting married and hinted to each other before, and she shares the same sentiments. I doubt we'll want two rings for her, just one for each of us!

 

I saw the ring LB posted, as well as others like it. I definitely like rings in that style. They look much more like engagement rings too. I'm sure I would totally get something like that if I could just find one I found great instead of just good. Although, that may just be what I end up doing if I don't figure this out soon.

 

To corazoncito:

 

I don't want to propose without a ring. But not matter what I choose, I'll certainly inquire about if she wants to return it for something else or change it in some way. I know exactly what you mean about finding something that fits her other jewelry/clothes and will fit well into her lifestyle. One of the things I love about it is that it's so flat on top. Not to be mean but she's a little clumsy with her hands. Peridot is a bit of a softer stone, so the flat surface of the ring would help protect it quite a bit. Rings that stick out also have a tendency to get caught on clothing. She's expressed an interest in other girls rings with bezel settings for just that reason. The thought I had was that hopefully I'll have my whole life to surprise her with the most extravagant jewelry I want. Maybe it would be better for this to be something that would fit very comfortably into her daily life and bright, fun, casual style. It is, afterall, something she may wear every single day for the rest of her life.

[norajane]

I think you need to find one with a bigger center stone, and make sure it's in a bezel setting then. The tiny-ness of the peridot is what really stands out because of the width of the band around the stone.

[green-eyed beauty]

I have no problem with the 3-month's salary guideline because isn't she worth going into a *little* debt for? Gimme a break.

That ring would make a great birthday present, but it's definitely not an engagement ring.

Also, women will SAY they don't want a diamond...but they do. Get at least a 1-carat diamond. Isn't she worth it?

[justagirliegirl]

I have no problem with the 3-month's salary guideline because isn't she worth going into a *little* debt for? Gimme a break.

That ring would make a great birthday present, but it's definitely not an engagement ring.

Also, women will SAY they don't want a diamond...but they do. Get at least a 1-carat diamond. Isn't she worth it?

 

I have to agree. People spend plenty on cars, cell phones, cable tv, computers, and so on but they can't find a few thousand for an engagement ring.

[Star Gazer]

Getting a diamond ring (whether it's unique or not) is pretty much out of the question. That just seems so cliched and dull to me, and I know she would appreciate something with gemstones so much more. I want to get peridot because it's my birthstone. That way she can kind of carry me with her everywhere she goes (a bit corny I know :-b).

 

This is soooooooo concerning to me. You're focusing on what YOU think, not what SHE wants. So what if it's cliche to YOU. This ring is about HER. SHE is going to be wearing it forever, it should be something SHE should want. I can tell you this: I actually know two girls who turned down a proposal because of the ring. Not because of how much it cost/how big it was, but because it was entirely obvious from his choice that he didn't know her at all, and didn't make any effort whatsoever to find out what would make HER happy. The ring was what HE liked.

 

Honestly, I would about die if my BF gave me a ring with HIS birthstone. I'd feel like he was trying to "tag" me or something.

 

I always thought the terms "wedding ring" and "engagement ring" were refering to the same thing. Now that I know the difference I find it to be a very strange an unappealing custom. ... I doubt we'll want two rings for her, just one for each of us!

 

A wedding ring and an engagement ring ARE two very different things. Unless you KNOW that she doesn't want an engagement ring and a wedding ring, you really shouldn't assume. You "doubt" she'd want two, but do you really know for certain?

 

Your entire thread here smells more like, "I want to get this ring, I like it, is it okay?" NOT "This is my GF's style, this is what she likes, do you think she'll like it??"

 

This IS a ring that she'll wear every day of her life. It should be special to HER and match HER tastes, not yours. Also keep in mind that a peridot doesn't match everything...

[green-eyed beauty]

I have to agree. People spend plenty on cars, cell phones, cable tv, computers, and so on but they can't find a few thousand for an engagement ring.

 

Glad someone agrees with me. I thought I'd be taking heat for stating what I did.

Good point you made aobut spending money on other stuff.

[Trialbyfire]

To turn this around, can she afford to get you anything in return for the same price tag?

[green-eyed beauty]

TBF, what difference does that make?

I've never heard of a proposal where the guy proposes and states "this ring costs X amount of dollars.....now whatcha buyin' ME?" lol

I guess I always thought of the proposal process as the guy wants to marry you so he buys you a ring.

[Trialbyfire]

You can't have the six goats/three pigs hand in marriage and then turn around and expect equality...

[Star Gazer]

Honestly, I've never really thought of it as the guy buying the ring. I mean, inevitably the girl/wife is going to have to pay for it. Even if he pays cash, that's less cash then THEY will have within the marriage. If he finances it, some of their marital money will go to pay for it. So it's really not him buying it alone...KWIM?

[Trialbyfire]

The only time the woman will pay for it, is if they live together. It's not as if he's necessarily going to save the money, even if he didn't get her the ring.

 

I'm an equalist in matters that can be made equal, regardless if it's advantageous to women or not. It only seems fair.

[green-eyed beauty]

1. I wouldn't marry a guy where 2 or 3 months salary would really put him out. So....any working professional man...this shouldn't be a problem, at least one I'd want to marry. In other words he's gotta have his shyt together before he gets to marry me.

 

2. In return for my hand in marriage, he gets to have sex with me for the rest of his life. That more than makes up for the ring. ha ha