Take a look at this ring and tell me what you think

[justagirliegirl]

The only time the woman will pay for it, is if they live together. It's not as if he's necessarily going to save the money, even if he didn't get her the ring.

 

I'm an equalist in matters that can be made equal, regardless if it's advantageous to women or not. It only seems fair.

 

What does this have to do with equality?

 

It is a tradition. The man buys the woman a ring and proposes.

[Citizen Erased]

Thank God I was born in September, that gemstone is hideous. Sapphires all the way lol.

 

I have always known that when I am engaged, I will buy him a watch. I don't see why I am the only one who gets something out of this, and I know that it will be appreciated so much more.

 

OP, keep looking. I would suggest you get something with her birthstone, not yours. It is her ring she will be wearing hopefully for years to come and she is going to be pestered with if the stone is her birthstone. Not to mention, again, the stone is not very nice no offence. It's not about how much the ring is, just that it reflects her as a person, not you.

[Trialbyfire]

What does this have to do with equality?

 

It is a tradition. The man buys the woman a ring and proposes.

It's also traditional for the man to work and the woman to be a stay at home mother. If you're the traditional type, fine, but if you want equality between genders, this would be part of it. A woman can't have the best of both worlds.

[justagirliegirl]

It's also traditional for the man to work and the woman to be a stay at home mother. If you're the traditional type, fine, but if you want equality between genders, this would be part of it. A woman can't have the best of both worlds.

 

That's all well and good but that isn't what this thread is about is it.

 

Do you have any suggestions for OP about the ring?

[green-eyed beauty]

That's for the birds. So every gift-giving occasion is going to involve making sure you each spend the same amount on each other.

Fun.

If I was proposed to, I wouldn't even want to know what he spent on it.

[Trialbyfire]

That's all well and good but that isn't what this thread is about is it.

 

Do you have any suggestions for OP about the ring?

Advice is already given. You might want to read the thread first.

[justagirliegirl]

Advice is already given. You might want to read the thread first.

 

Fabulous! I'm glad that's all resolved.

[K-os]

Yikes. Do I really sound that self-involved, Star Gazer? I really didn't mean to come off that way. What do other people think? I've been pondering and agonizing for weeks specifically over finding something perfect for her. If I didn't care I would just go out and buy a really expensive, plain, diamond solitaire - even if that sounds counter-intuitive to some of you. I honestly am trying to put her needs and wishes above my own. We do have very similar tastes and fall in love with a lot of the same things based on their looks and how different they are. The reason this has popped out at me so much is because it's completely and 100% "her". I also haven't seen anything at all similar to it anywhere I've looked. She values uniqueness and individuality just as much as me. Oh, and I apoligize for not making this clear, but I do know that she doesn't want two rings. She agreed with me that that's weird and she wouldn't want that. The only doubt comes from the fact that minds do change over time. In the unlikely event that that's the case, we'll make the proper arrangements.

 

As far as equality, I guess the best way to achieve that would be to just both get stoneless rings of some kind. Some people choose to even just exchange identical, smooth, plain bands. I personally think that's an awesome idea if that's what you want. I honestly don't know how much she'll want to spend on a ring for me, but I honestly don't care either. I would be just as happy with a $30 silver one as I would be with a $2000 platinum one. Actually, I take that back. $2k would be a ridiculous amount for her to spend on a ring, so I wouldn't want her to go near that high. But you get the point.

 

Let me end this post with a few other rings for you all to look at:

 

1) http://www.netaya.com/4cwlr6pd-00.html

2) http://www.faycullen.com/engagement_rings/800/d521r8pd.html

3) http://www.myjewelrysource.com/peridot-rings/gr3071_peridot_engagement_rings.htm

4) http://www.amazon.com/White-Gold-Genuine-Peridot-Diamond/dp/B000BJ2UMG/ref=sr_1_17/102-4687954-8252931?ie=UTF8&s=jewelry&qid=1180322185&sr=1-17

5) http://www.amazon.com/White-Genuine-Round-Peridot-Diamond/dp/B0006UOJVU/ref=sr_1_16/102-4687954-8252931?ie=UTF8&s=jewelry&qid=1180322185&sr=1-16

6) http://www.amazon.com/2ctw-Diamond-Peridot-Ring-White/dp/B000NA8T6E/ref=sr_1_1/102-4687954-8252931?ie=UTF8&s=jewelry&qid=1180322476&sr=1-1

 

It would be awesome if some of you wanted to post some stuff here. Maybe give me some ideas or even provide me with a link for the perfect ring! Just try to keep things somewhere in the vicinity of $500 (plus or minus a couple hundred).

[dropdeadlegs]

Number three is my personal fave. I like the oval with the optional matching band best out of all the ring links on this thread.

 

I thought the Estate jewelry ring was very pretty and had a lovely uniques setting, but it looks a bit frail and a wedding set worn daily does take a beating.

 

The peridot is very striking in a white gold setting. Prettier than I imagined and much prettier than a diamond solitaire in white gold.

 

The flat rings are pretty but they do not say "engagement" or "wedding" in ANY way to me. they look more like dainty pinky rings.

[vocalstudent86]

I agree with everyone else in that an engagement ring needs to have a diamond. That ring does not really scream "engagement", though maybe it would be nice for another time. It's not really my taste so maybe I'm biased...but I think a diamond is the way to go.

[Star Gazer]

Now I feel bad. No, of course you don't sound self-involved! You just sounded a little clueless about engagement rings.

 

I don't care who you are, if you're a female, you have some level of fantasy about being proposed to...and what the ring will look like. A vision. The original ring you suggested would have bursted the bubble, so I had a viceral reaction to it and your defense of it. Sorry!!

 

I think the other rings you've suggested are great by design (MUCH more engagement-y!!), BUT I still really don't think you should get her YOUR birthstone. Get her either her birth stone, or a completely different gemstone.

[green-eyed beauty]

Hey, we gave you our advice. The thing is, she's going to get that ring, if it's not diamond, and deep down she'll be disappointed with it because it's not a "real" engagement ring. She won't have that fun feeling of wanting to show off the diamond when friends and family ask to see her ring finger.

Isn't she worth a $2000 diamond, give me a break. I'd rather have a 1 carat cubic zirconia set in white gold, at least it would look like a diamond. (And frankly, with Diamonique...you can't tell the difference.)

Diamonds sparkle like nothing else. Peridot is pretty, for fashion, but women....want the diamond. Take her to the jewelry store and see if she DOESN'T head straight for the diamond engagement ring case. I'm not kidding here. THIS IS YOUR FUTURE WIFE. GIVE HER WHAT SHE DESERVES.

http://www.qvc.com/qic/qvcapp.aspx/app.detail

Type in J99833 for the product number.

[K-os]

No worries Star Gazer. I appreciated your point of view, because sometimes we're a certain way and we don't realize it. The cool thing about forums is that people are much more deadly honest about everything. The only reason I was defending that ring was because I wanted people to see my point of view a little bit and what I find appealing about it. I'm here to take in people's thoughts with a grain of salt. My mind is far from made up. While I'm not an expert by any means, I promise you I'm not clueless about engagement rings. I've been doing quite a lot of research for quite a while now. And yes, diamonds and traditional rings were totally within the scope of that research. If I was completely clueless, I probably wouldn't be here right now gathering opinions on something so completely untraditional. Thank you for trying to slap some sense into me. I will take your warnings to heart.

 

 

That number doesn't seem to work, Green Eye.

[green-eyed beauty]

oh. oops. Go to qvc.com and type in diamonique solitaire ring, or the item number above in the search at the top of the page (if you want).

Anyway....I suggest you talk with her about what she would want for an engagement ring. Anymore, when people are getting engaged, they have discussed details like that before the actual proposal and the proposal with the ring is just a formality many times.

Did you like my idea about going to a store and looking at rings together? Then you get an idea of where she is coming from?

Maybe she would like one of those peridots, I don't know. I'd be sure to get her input.

[dropdeadlegs]

K-os, honestly a plain band would be fine with me. I have been married twice and neither ring was what many women would find adequate.

 

Personally, I think it's ridiculous to spend 2-3 months salary, but I also think big expensive weddings are a waste. I'm just frugal by nature.

 

I would rather have an awesome honeymoon. The memories of traveling somewhere exotic for a week would far outweigh the memory of one day in a heavy dress I will never wear again.

 

I had earlier missed the post where you explained that she doesn't want a wedding band. With a less traditional ring, I think the wedding band is even more important if appearances are important in any way. Many people will already be taken aback by a less traditional ring, but no band will have them saying "you're kidding, right?"

 

Not saying that should matter, but over time it might matter.

[K-os]

If we could put diamonds completely aside for just one moment, I'd love to hear some more opinions on the choice of gemstone. Do you think using my own so it reminds her of me even more is a bad choice? Should I use her's (amethyst) instead? Or would a different stone(s) work better? And most importantly, why?

 

Thanks for the correction, Green Eye. I understand where you're coming from about getting her direct input. That would definitely be the safest way to go. If I was to do that, I would propose without a ring and we would go shopping together for hers and mine together. I remember her remarking on how weird it is when people propose without a ring and then the girl just picks one out for herself. I suggested that some might prefer to share that experience together. She went, "Oh, I guess that could be okay then." I do know that she agrees with me that picking out rings together just prior to a proposal is weird and unromantic. At that point you might as well skip the proposal because there's nothing left to propose! All that being said, I'm pretty darn sure she would want to be taken completely by suprise and with a ring I searched long and hard for. And if it's not love at first sight then it can always be altered in someway or returned. I wouldn't take that personally at all.

[K-os]

I agree with everything you said, deadlegs. But do you think you could do some clarifying on when you said "over time it might matter". A few quick examples would be awesome.

[catrocks]

I think it's nice that you're putting so much thought into the ring, and hopefully it will show when you give it to her!

I don't like the original one you posted the link for, but the second time you posted links I liked the fifth one best. It was pretty, but still simple and not OTT. Personally, I don't like the stone, I would be happier with amythest, but that's me, and obviously you know what she will like better than anyone. Does she wear green often? That would be a good indicator that she'd like it.

 

I don't necessarily agree that an engagement ring has to be a diamond - not all women are the same! Having said that, my ring is a diamond - he picked it out, it's a plain band with one princess cut solitaire, about 3/4 carat, and honestly I think it would look odd if it were any bigger than that. I think big diamonds look fabulous on the right person, but on me it would just be weird and wrong.

 

When my fiancé and I were discussing getting engaged I tried to persuade him to spend about the same amount you are because I thought it was totally reasonable, and I sent him links to rings with cz.... anyways he decided that it should be a diamond and paid WAY more than he would have done if I'd gone with him to choose it. Needless to say, when we chose our wedding bands he tried to persuade me to get the $2000 one, and I refused cos I think that is WAY too much, so we ended up with the $399 one. And I love it.

 

Anyways, slightly off the point, I just wanted to say that not all women want the $6000 diamond. Others can say all they want that all women secretly want this but it's not true.

 

http://www.gevandov.com/.%5Cimages%5Cproducts%5C1437.jpg I like this one in amethyst...

http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.jewelsforme.com/images-MEDIUM/W/08/2004R.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.jewelsforme.com/itemlist-main.asp%3Fstyle%3D24%26category%3DRings%26GemType%3D08&h=120&w=160&sz=5&hl=en&start=2&um=1&tbnid=_c-ho93p4gVggM:&tbnh=74&tbnw=98&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dperidot%2Bengagement%2Bring%26svnum%3D10%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG

And ALL the Princess cut ones here in peridot

 

In fact, I love everything on this website: http://www.jewelsforme.com/ (search by stone and choose engagement ring)

 

good luck!

[justagirliegirl]

I like the suggestion of taking her to jewelry stores to just look around and not actually pick out anything. Pay close attention to what she looks at and tries on and then you will know what she really likes.

 

You didn't spoil the surprise as she would not know exactly what you picked out and you would not be picking out what you get in advance.

 

When I got married the ring he bought was disappointing. I hated it.I didn't tell him I hated it. Didn't want to hurt his feelings. He did get me a diamond but it was maybe .25 carat and it was emerald cut solitaire. Eeeww. It just looked so odd to me. Some men have a knack for picking out the oddest things. Later on I ended up getting a plain 1 carat marquise cut solitaire that I loved.

[Woggle]

Not all women like diamonds. My wife boycotts diamonds because of where they come from so she told me to never buy them for her. All these women saying that you need to spend a lot of money on a ring are dead wrong. If a woman really loves you she will accept a 25 cent plastic ring out of a vending machine at the supermarket. It seems that some women just want the big trophy to show off.

[justagirliegirl]

And one could say if he really loved her he would spend as much or more on the ring than he did on his big flat screen tv!

[Woggle]

And one could say if he really loved her he would spend as much or more on the ring than he did on his big flat screen tv!

 

I don't believe that a man's love is measured in how much he spends.

[Diamonds&Rust]

A diamond also has the drag of being (usually) supported by murderous cartels and international slavery, including the enslavement of young children. Not to mention its association with the engagement ring is completely contrived by advertising firms.

[Woggle]

A diamond also has the drag of being (usually) supported by murderous cartels and international slavery, including the enslavement of young children. Not to mention its association with the engagement ring is completely contrived by advertising firms.

 

This is exactly why my wife does not want any diamonds. Most Americans don't care though as long as they can bling it up.

[Sheba]

Canadian diamonds have nothing to do with murderous cartels or slavery. So, you can buy a Canadian diamond with a clear conscience.

 

K-os, if you think your girlfriend will find a diamond too traditional, I think a brilliant cut (round) or princess cut (square) solitaire of any light, good quality gemstone would be a wonderful engagement ring. A pale yellow citrine, a pale pink or pale blue topaz, etc... You could even buy a loose stone and have it set in an "engagement type" setting so that it has a matching band.