lil_regrets Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Does anyone here regret decisions they made in life and wish they did things differently?.... For me i hold regrets over my ex bf from whom i split from 18 months ago. I cant remember the exact reasons why we split now. But it was mainly because i was too young to settle down. I guess back then i was still finding my feet in the world. So many expectations and aims, so carefree at the time. I guess i didnt want to be tied down. He was a good bf loyal and loving to me. There wasnt anything he wouldnt do for me. But in the end i decided to end the relationship because i felt i wanted something different out of life. To cut the story short. 18 months later although i have my career now and a nice bf. I cant help but miss that one person. I guess i never appreciated how much he loved until now. I did and said things i shouldnt have at the time, but i do have so many regrets now. He always said that no one could love me as much as he could. As hard as it is to admit i know that he is right. Why does it take a few failed relationships to realise what you have lost? Why do we girls make these mistakes. I dream about my ex every night. Wondering what he is doing, where he is...and in some way i know he is thinking about me too. I recently found out that he has found a job in my local area. My heart tells me that i should contact him to see if he still feels the same way. But i dont have the courage. Sometimes i wish i could have done things differently. I love him. I will always love him. So many regrets. How do you cope with your regrets? Samantha Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 YOU ASK: "Does anyone here regret decisions they made in life and wish they did things differently?...." We all do...but that's what lessons are all about. You can screw you mind to hell wondering how things would have worked out if you would have stayed in a relationship or whatever. But the fact is that you made a decision at the time based on the very best information availble...or the other person left us after doing the same thing...and that's it. Everything happens exactly as it's supposed to...otherwise it wouldn't happen. Everything happens for a good reason and purpose. Spending a lot of time obsessing about the past robs you of a lot of present. There is simply no way of going back and recreating things to see how they would have worked. This is life and it doesn't work that way. Life moves forward and if we get stuck somewhere we do ourselves a great disservice. Try to bring yourself to live in the present and make the very best of each moment so you don't regret anything. And try to help yourself not regret just how life worked out...because that's the way it was supposed to happen. I don't remember which poet wrote this, but here it is: "The saddest words of tongue or pen, are those which ask what might have been." Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 I was a guy that my girlfriend split with me for the same reasons. More than 2 years in a relationship, then nothing. Is is said that you should have no regrets in life, because they will only bring you down. I think that if you are missing him this much that you should try to contact him. It takes a few failed relationships to realize what you have lost because you probably never respected what your ex did for you. I have no idea why "you" girls make these mistakes. If I knew, I'd try to get back with my first girlfriend. Some regrets are very hard to deal with, and will just cause pain. If however you can turn a regret around, I'd say go for it. If you can make something right that is wrong, do it. Just make sure you don't hurt anyone in the process. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lil_regrets Posted January 22, 2003 Author Share Posted January 22, 2003 Originally posted by Tony YOU ASK: "Does anyone here regret decisions they made in life and wish they did things differently?...." We all do...but that's what lessons are all about. You can screw you mind to hell wondering how things would have worked out if you would have stayed in a relationship or whatever. But the fact is that you made a decision at the time based on the very best information availble...or the other person left us after doing the same thing...and that's it. "The saddest words of tongue or pen, are those which ask what might have been." That is the sticking point. I wasnt sure what i was doing at the time. I was never 100% sure what i was doing was right at the time. I guess i was just going through a transition period at the time. I have had relationships since but none compare to what i had before...i have grown up now and know what i want... After writing my last post i called up a gf of mine. Talking to her made up my mind finally. I've decided to do what i should have done long ago. I dont want to live with this feeling for the rest of my life. Im going to make contact with him... I dont love my current bf, he kind of knew. I think its only right to follow my heart...it would be unfair to live a lie. Bill: My ex was like you i think. I now finally realise that he deserved better....thank you for your encouraging words... Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 I did everything for that girlfriend that I had, however I think that made things worse. When she broke up with me she said I deserved better. There was nothing that I could say to prove it otherwise. I kept saying that I wanted her, but she stayed with the same thoughts. We did not even remain friends, because she did something to justify our breakup with her friends. Basically painted me as something I am not, though she stopped when she felt guilty about it. I wish you good luck in your quest. Link to post Share on other sites
Swamp Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Yeah I am in the exact same boat as Bill and your exboyfriend. Getting broken up with hurts very badly. But it hurts worse when you know the other person is just as hurt as you are, possibly even more. Please do contact your ex. Just make sure you value him, and do not under any circumstance hurt him again. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. True love can send you in very odd directions. Can send you through Hell and right back to Earth. Please keep us posted. Id like to know how everything turns out. Bill what eventually happened? Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted January 23, 2003 Share Posted January 23, 2003 Well, I contacted the girl after I heard about it, and she stopped saying lies and things. I never talked to her again after that. That was the most hurtful breakup I had. I've only had 3 relationships, she was the first. Second one went back to her abusive ex. Third one lied to me about her age. Link to post Share on other sites
Swamp Posted January 23, 2003 Share Posted January 23, 2003 After you heard about what? What lies? I dont get it. I thought she left you for no true reason or somethin. Even though you were amazing to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted January 23, 2003 Share Posted January 23, 2003 She lied to her friends why she left me after the relationship. It was the only way she could justify that she was leaving me. Her friends were all for the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Swamp Posted January 23, 2003 Share Posted January 23, 2003 How long was it before you talked to her again? Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted January 23, 2003 Share Posted January 23, 2003 Breakup---->2months(talk to stop lies)---->never Link to post Share on other sites
Swamp Posted January 23, 2003 Share Posted January 23, 2003 Did you still want her back after you talked to her about her lies? Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted January 23, 2003 Share Posted January 23, 2003 I don't regret anything I did. I hate who I used to be, but if I wasn't that person and did the hings I did I wouldn't be where I am today. I may not have Hope I may not have my partner, and where would I be?? Life works out the way it does for a reason. me, I reckon I went through a bad period early in life, so I could be a good and responsible mother to my daughter. Link to post Share on other sites
Swamp Posted January 23, 2003 Share Posted January 23, 2003 Yeah I hate who I used to be. I hate who I was before my break up even. I didnt hate me then but I do now. Ive learned literally that much from this. Never have regrets. But at the same time... if you made a mistake and learned from it and feel that you could fix it and keep the lesson you learned. Id say give it a shot. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted January 24, 2003 Share Posted January 24, 2003 Well, I would go back with her. I don't think that will ever happen though, as I will not make an effort to do that. I know she regrets leaving me, as I gave her everything. I'm not just talking about material things either. Link to post Share on other sites
Swamp Posted January 24, 2003 Share Posted January 24, 2003 How long were you with her to begin with? Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted January 24, 2003 Share Posted January 24, 2003 2 years 2 months Link to post Share on other sites
Bummed Posted February 15, 2003 Share Posted February 15, 2003 it sounds like you're idealizing (is that a word?) the old relationship. sounds like you had the grass is greener disease and it cost you your old boyfriend and you've got the grass was greener disease and it might cost you your new boyfriend. my x had the grass is greener disease, but she got over it in about a month and we got back together. unfortunately, i NEVER got over it and ended up leaving her because i could never trust her again. instead of thinking about how good your old relationship was, think about how good or bad it might be if you started anew. you have probably changed, he almost certainly has after you dropped him for no reason... and he'd be foolish to ever trust you. Link to post Share on other sites
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