Not sure how to confront him

[tofugal]

Hi everyone -- I'm new here and I read Delectable's post (and everyone's replies) on a very similar subject, but since the situation is slightly different enough I hope it merits its own thread.

 

My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly a year and a half (we are both in our mid-twenties), we've met each other's parents and each other's friends, and other than the occasional tiff, we've never had a real argument or major relationship issues. We live 20 miles apart and he has a busy work schedule, so we usually wind up seeing each other once or twice a week, and talk on the phone two or three times a week.

 

When I was using his computer this weekend (with his permission) and went to check my own MySpace page (I've been open with him that I have an account; I use it for networking and proudly list myself as "in a relationship), I found out that HE had a MySpace account that he hadn't told me about. When I asked him about it, he said he hadn't logged in in so many months that he might as well not have one. The following day I searched for him just so I could add him as a friend, and found the first lie: he created the account three months ago and had logged into as recently as two and a half weeks ago. The pictures on the profile leave no doubt that this is his. My stomach dropped when I saw that he lists himself as single, "here for dating," and specifying what kind of woman he is looking for.

 

Other than this MySpace account there has been no indication that he is cheating or looking for other women; his sex drive is healthy, he's just as affectionate as ever, and he does not cancel any of our dates. For some reason he has a picture of an animal as his first picture and I had to go into his pictures to make sure it was him. He currently only has two "friends" on MySpace, both male, but I am concerned that he has the account set up in the first place, and is apparently looking for other women to date! How should I confront him about this?

[imonyourside]

this is pretty shady. i don't know why he would lie.

but he said he hadn't checked it in months and he had in 2 and a half weeks. while not the same, its still sounds like a long time since hes checked it... so thats good

 

another thing that is good is the amount of friends he has - two and they are both male!!! from right there i would feel so much better.

 

you should tell him you found his page and ask him why he hasn't changed it to "in a relationship"

i might be wrong, but maybe its default to say what it says- "here for dating, single, etc"

 

the dreaded fact you should face is if he was looking around. doesn't seem like he is planning on cheating or anything but i know the world wide web has given people many opportunities so maybe he was looking. its not good, but i wouldn't write him off you know?

 

i don't know if this is making sense. just from an outsiders view, i don't think he is looking to cheat.. i'm not sure what he is doing. if you've been dating for a year and a half just be upfront and ask him why it says hes single! theres not much you can from there... gL

[Trialbyfire]

I would discuss the lies with him, gauge his responses and then decide what course of action you want to take.

 

We live 20 miles apart and he has a busy work schedule, so we usually wind up seeing each other once or twice a week, and talk on the phone two or three times a week.

This also concerned me. 20 miles isn't very far away. Only seeing each other once or twice a week after 1.5 years, seems a bit distant.