I want the "Happy Me" back

[greenbutterfly]

First let me say hello. My name is Marcie, this will be my first post. And since I really dont know any of you yet I am just gonna lay it all out.

 

I am in a rut. I hae let myslef go. When I had my second child, I fought so hard to be able to be a SAHM with her. I kew I missed so much when my son was growing up due to me being a single mom and always being at work. Well, this time I was married to a great guy. We talked and worked it out so that we would cut down on a few things so I was able to stay at home.

 

Well, you know how it goes. I was preggo for 9 months, had a beautiful baby girl in October of 2005. I had a wonderful man that I adore to no end. And a great son who my DH had taken in as his own.

 

I still have allthose things, I mean my life should be great! It is exactly what i wanted. I plan on staying home untill I am done with school (which I just started back this semester) So right aroudn the time I graduate my daughter will be ready for preschool.

 

But here it is, I am a mess. I have no friends anymore. I am fat, ugly, and jsut palin bored with myself. Now by saying I am bored I dont mean with the lifestyle I have chosed by satying at home, but by jsut not getting out and doing ANYTHING!

 

I weigh aobut 50 pounds more than I did three years ago. I havent had my hair cut in a real beauty shop in years. I used to get my nails done, go out with friends. Now I am jsut too emberresed of myslef to do any of those things.

 

ANother issue is I wouod actually have to get a job to afford to do anythign like that. I dont feel that it would e right to give up being home with my daughter just so I can have money to get my hair cut or to go have a margarita.

 

I need advice to get my "Happy me" back.

I need a plan to make me feel better abut myself before I can even try and enter the real world again.

 

DH is starting to notice that I am not myslef anymore. But he jsut doesnt understand. He works, he plays softball he has a lfe outside of this house. I do not. He is always offering that I go out with my friends, and I will make agarangements for that to happen but I always end up cancleing. I never wnat to go to his friends because his friends wives are my friends also but I jsut feel out of place anymore.

 

ANy advice for me?

 

Thanks for letting me ramble on. I jsut needed to get it out somewhere.