CyberGem Posted May 29, 2007 Share Posted May 29, 2007 When I was 12 my 15 step-brother tried to touch me just at first by stroking my leg I was so shocked I didn't know how to respond so I let him do it. Over time it progressed until he got me to let him have sex with me. Although I didn't want to he pressured me and pressured me until I relented. This went on until I was 14 and he left home to be in a youth prison (for unrelated offences.) I tried to tell my best friend but she didnt believe me and I rang childline but my best friend (who I'd told) was with me and giggled in the background and because of that the counsellor on the phone didn't believe me and accused me of wasting their time. This was a serious blow to my confidence and so I never told anyone else. When I was 15 he came to stay at ours again and he tried to force me to have sex with him, when I said no he physically pinned me down and was going to rape me when I screamed for my mum and she came in my room- although when she came in I made some excuse about calling her because he was 'hitting' me as I was too scared to tell the truth. I have not seen him since but I am 20 now and sometimes I feel like it must have affected me emotionally as I have a very low sex drive and am quite scared by sex which I think may be because he tried to force me to do various things. I'm still confused even now as to whether this was abuse as I let him do it although at the time I was too scared to say no and it was the first time anyone had tried to do anything so part of me was flattered. What does everyone else think? Was this abuse or just some childhood fumbling? Gem x P.S. apologies for the long post but its such a relief to get this off my chest after so long! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts