Bringing Back gifts from ex. Good or Bad idea?

[MackinMack]

Well my ex left me 2 months ago after a 2.5 year relationship. She was confused and finally realized she doesn't want one. She hasn't someone else or been seeing someone else so I trust her on that but who knows.

 

Well after doing 1 week of NC after 1.5 months of begging and calling ect we started to talk almost everyday, most of the time I've been calling. I actually wanted to start fresh and be friends. To be honest I've been calling almost everyday and everything seemed fine. We even manage to see each other and meet.

 

We discussed about us, she said she would like to get back but is worried done the road the cycle will start all over again and she would feel guilty for hurting me.

 

Well I actually didn't mind being friends, but she feels that I am still trying to manipulate her to getting back to me or trying to get her back. So now she has gone back to ignoring me which could be due to me calling almost everyday.

 

So I finally decide for myself that I will go back to NC and will bring back all her gifts she gave me and including a letter that explains how I will be out of her life by leaving all this at her front door.

 

What do you guys and girls think?

 

Dumpers, how would you react if your ex returned the gifts you have given them?

[Art_Critic]

Just go NC.. you don't return gifts that someone bought you..

 

By returning gifts you are trying to make a statement and hurt that person to the point that they react.. it never works in your favor..

 

Keep the letter as well.. give her silence..

[Lizzie60]

Well my ex left me 2 months ago after a 2.5 year relationship. She was confused and finally realized she doesn't want one. She hasn't someone else or been seeing someone else so I trust her on that but who knows.

 

Well after doing 1 week of NC after 1.5 months of begging and calling ect we started to talk almost everyday, most of the time I've been calling. I actually wanted to start fresh and be friends. To be honest I've been calling almost everyday and everything seemed fine. We even manage to see each other and meet.

 

We discussed about us, she said she would like to get back but is worried done the road the cycle will start all over again and she would feel guilty for hurting me.

 

Well I actually didn't mind being friends, but she feels that I am still trying to manipulate her to getting back to me or trying to get her back. So now she has gone back to ignoring me which could be due to me calling almost everyday.

 

So I finally decide for myself that I will go back to NC and will bring back all her gifts she gave me and including a letter that explains how I will be out of her life by leaving all this at her front door.

 

What do you guys and girls think?

 

Dumpers, how would you react if your ex returned the gifts you have given them?

 

Yes I definitely think that the fact that you've been calling her every single day, didn't help your cause..

 

You probably look desperate and too dependant on her and that turned her off.

 

So I finally decide for myself that I will go back to NC and will bring back all her gifts she gave me and including a letter that explains how I will be out of her life by leaving all this at her front door.

 

Why would you do that? It seems like you're going from one extreme to the other... just back off... don't call her anymore... and go from there. This letter sounds very 'immature' IMO. Smells 'vengeance' to me...

 

Anyway... my advice, don't give her back the gifts she gave you, this is part of your life together and that would hurt her... and no letter... just don't bother her anymore... simple.

[MackinMack]

I guess you guys and girls are right. She does have a rough/aggressive side to her though and she is one of those girls that are tough in a way and I was attempting this as a rude awakening to get her to realise I am out of her life completely. I guess it will just make matters worse and possibly push her away even more?

 

I didn't mean to attempt be an ass, to be honest I am still going through hard time. I cry at random times, mostly at nights. I miss her alot. I wish she can realise what she has losts. Well incase you were wondering here is the letter

 

"Hey, just let me explain this will be the very last of ME I promise no lie. I hope you didn’t mind me taking this all back to you. I just feel as us being separated and my presence being around be it phone, email, person ect. is a conflict especially for you. I feel I need to give this all back to you as it is meaningless to be around without it’s motivator (us being together) but it also doesn’t deserve to be anywhere else but back to were it came from. I hope you understand that I try to be at your level of your needs, but I can see it doesn’t matter at all, and you have been completely someone different from whom I knew since day one, and as time go’s on I am becoming less an less than nothing to you despite me changing, having different interest and learning a lot of things from my experience being with and without you. I don’t know for sure if you care about my presence being around you or not but as I’ve said it seems you do not and it is aggravating you more and more. Your actions speak louder then words, I know you would hate to say you are ignoring me but it does seem that way. This is also very hard on me, as I would love to stay in touch with you and be at your level yet it doesn’t seem you want to accept it nor does it seem I am still part of your world. To this day I don’t know EXACTLY what went wrong from the beginning of you leaving the relationship, I just hope someday I will know why you felt the way you did. I still though am interested in the kind of person you are (independent, aggressive, funny, nice, sweet, chilled and laid back) and would love someone to be that way if they are with me. Well I had to give this all away and I had to send back all the emails you’ve sent me, this is truly IT I am completely going to be away and out of your life and forget everything we’ve had otherwise it will make my future difficult to reach but I will never forget your name and who you are especially. It was a nice dream and a truly dream come true, you have made my life wonderful while you were in it, and I truly couldn’t ask for anything better. I guess it’s up to time to decide when we will see each other again and finally be on the same page once again.

Hey don’t you ever think you’re a bad person and someone that doesn’t deserve a guy like me ok, I’ve always seen you much more then what you say you are which is why I was the way I was when I was with you. You are the most beautiful thing I’ve encountered both in and out and truly deserves to be happier then happy which is why you are special to me regardless of how anyone including yourself sees it.

 

For one last time, I just wanted to say this in this kind of way; Baby te quiero, you take care of yourself and keep it up I am proud of how well you are doing it, I have been missing and will miss my hot stuff and my once everything. Besito all over para mi morenita. Well enjoy your life to the fullest of course in the right way!"

[Lizzie60]

I guess you guys and girls are right. She does have a rough/aggressive side to her though and she is one of those girls that are tough in a way and I was attempting this as a rude awakening to get her to realise I am out of her life completely. I guess it will just make matters worse and possibly push her away even more?

 

I didn't mean to attempt be an ass, to be honest I am still going through hard time. I cry at random times, mostly at nights. I miss her alot. I wish she can realise what she has losts.

 

I feel she was the strong one in the relationship...so don't give her that pleasure to see you as a 'loser'... be independant... stronger. I bet she already knows that you are out of her life...no need to remind her.

 

Don't worry, you will survive and you'll eventually find someone for you.

[MackinMack]

Yea she was the one, and she is strong. She's a tough one that doesn't take crap from anyone.

 

And I thought this idea would be enough for a rude awakening or to get her to realise what she has done since she is as well aware of NC

[Art_Critic]

There is nothing more deafening than silence.. pure silence.. give it to her...

 

Go on about your life and practice NC..

 

No gift returning.. no letters... no calls.. no texts.. no smoke signals thru friends..and if she calls or contacts you then your response to her is more silence..