SouthernT Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 But yes, BEFOREhand he was very clear that he wanted a relationship. I believe he did. I also believe he simply changed his mind afterward, and made that change of heart very clear as well. People are allowed to do that, ya know. In retrospect, if there was anyone who wasn't all that clear, it was me. I went from room temp to blazing hot without any explanation or rational reason, crazy woman that I am. The fact of the matter is that waiting is no guarantee - EVER. Regardless if it's my f*ckface FF, or his crazy MC. At 35 years old, you'd think she would have figured that out by now. Yep...I agree.....it's not a matter of how long you make him wait. I think it's just a matter of waiting to make sure that things are to that point of him not changing his mind BEFORE the sex happens. Maybe it reduces that chances of a guy changing his mind after the fact...but then again...maybe not. And the amount of time that this takes depends on the individual situation. There's no set time on that. See the thing about it is....it's like playing "Russian Roulette" with your heart. So maybe this girl is being EXTRA EXTRA careful this time because she wouldnt be able to rebound as quickly if she's hurt again. Link to post Share on other sites
StartingOver07 Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 So maybe this girl is being EXTRA EXTRA careful this time because she wouldnt be able to rebound as quickly if she's hurt again. Well, I am new here and I don't know Tanbark and I certainly don't know this woman, but her behavior sounds more selfish and manipulative than scared and cautious. When I am being cautious in a relationship, I am generally not commanding my date to perform oral sex, nor counting how many times he has to do me if I do him, nor inserting the tip of his penis into me and then not allowing him to continue, etc., etc. Maybe I am just out of touch, or maybe TB isn't relaying things well, but what I am hearing is that TB is a reasonably decent guy with honorable (and clearly communicated) intentions who somehow took up with someone not of his calber. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tanbark813 Posted May 31, 2007 Author Share Posted May 31, 2007 Well, I am new here and I don't know Tanbark and I certainly don't know this woman, but her behavior sounds more selfish and manipulative than scared and cautious. When I am being cautious in a relationship, I am generally not commanding my date to perform oral sex, nor counting how many times he has to do me if I do him, nor inserting the tip of his penis into me and then not allowing him to continue, etc., etc. Maybe I am just out of touch, or maybe TB isn't relaying things well, but what I am hearing is that TB is a reasonably decent guy with honorable (and clearly communicated) intentions who somehow took up with someone not of his calber. Well I may be biased here but you sound like a smart woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 ...her behavior sounds more selfish and manipulative than scared and cautious. When I am being cautious in a relationship, I am generally not commanding my date to perform oral sex, nor counting how many times he has to do me if I do him, nor inserting the tip of his penis into me and then not allowing him to continue, etc., etc. Seriously, WHO DOES THAT??? Maybe I am just out of touch, or maybe TB isn't relaying things well, but what I am hearing is that TB is a reasonably decent guy with honorable (and clearly communicated) intentions who somehow took up with someone not of his calber. She's definitely not worthy. Link to post Share on other sites
champagne Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 I fail to see from this thread what makes TB such "high caliber." Link to post Share on other sites
nicki Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Nope, she's not worthy! Us "sluts of LS," on the other hand are very worthy of men like Tan. (Stargazer, I know he's yours...just saying Tan is one of those guys on here who has the qualities I/we admire.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author tanbark813 Posted May 31, 2007 Author Share Posted May 31, 2007 Nope, she's not worthy! Us "sluts of LS," on the other hand are very worthy of men like Tan. (Stargazer, I know he's yours...just saying Tan is one of those guys on here who has the qualities I/we admire.) Why thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Nope, she's not worthy! Us "sluts of LS," on the other hand are very worthy of men like Tan. (Stargazer, I know he's yours...just saying Tan is one of those guys on here who has the qualities I/we admire.) Tee hee! So glad you recognize my rights!! J/K Yeah, Tan pretty much rocks...my socks...off... Link to post Share on other sites
Author tanbark813 Posted May 31, 2007 Author Share Posted May 31, 2007 Yeah, Tan pretty much rocks...my socks...off... Just wait, baby.. just wait... Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Ok, I didn't read the whole thread so if I'm repeating someone else, apologies. Anyway, by now some of you know that I'm pretty conservative in these matters and even I think she's being ridiculous. If she wasn't having oral sex with you and doing everything "but" I'd have a different opinion. At this point, I'd just call her a pr*ck teaser. Anyway, I saw where she was breaking up with you. It sounds like it's for the best. You need a woman Tan..not a little girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 when you wait to long to bone a girl it gets weird, and much harder to do. generaly by week to I like to have been there and conquered, 7 weeks with bj's involved would definetly be weird when ur just not aloud that last bit of satisfaction Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Ok, I didn't read the whole thread so if I'm repeating someone else, apologies. If she wasn't having oral sex with you and doing everything "but" I'd have a different opinion. At this point, I'd just call her a pr*ck teaser. Anyway, I saw where she was breaking up with you. It sounds like it's for the best. Same here. I quickly skimmed through the thread and I agree with the above post. its the woman's job to bring up any idea of a relationship. i don't believe i've ever been the first to ask for one. Oh geez, not this close minded BS again. This "job" is not limited to just one gender, although women probably do bring it up a majority of the time, but that doesn't mean that the guy does not have to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
DanielMadr Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Oh geez, not this close minded BS again. This "job" is not limited to just one gender, although women probably do bring it up a majority of the time, but that doesn't mean that the guy does not have to do it. They bring it up a majority of time for a reason. The security of relationship/marriage is more important to them. They are the ones who can get pregnant after all. I believe when things are OK there is not even reason for asking...it is obvious you two are in relationship. No need for formal statements. Instead of words make some effort to deepen the relationship. Formal statements once the stripe goes blue. Link to post Share on other sites
DanielMadr Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 i'm trying more to get sex than a true relationship so why would i ask a woman for a relationship? You can get sex every night without much effort....and you can be more advanterous....and she can scratch your back in any time of the day;) Link to post Share on other sites
DanielMadr Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 I fail to see from this thread what makes TB such "high caliber." Good looking masculine visage, strong character, keeps his boyish charm and is funny. And doesnt take himself too seriously. On top of it he has strong potential, which everyone sees but him. No false modesty. Girls here see it and encourage him. I prefer to give him mental slaps (he could get used to be encouraged/complimented - its addictive- and he wouldnt evolve). If I wasnt homophobic I would have send him a kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tanbark813 Posted May 31, 2007 Author Share Posted May 31, 2007 Good looking masculine visage, strong character, keeps his boyish charm and is funny. And doesnt take himself too seriously. On top of it he has strong potential, which everyone sees but him. No false modesty. Girls here see it and encourage him. I prefer to give him mental slaps (he could get used to be encouraged/complimented - its addictive- and he wouldnt evolve). If I wasnt homophobic I would have send him a kiss. Thanks, man. Link to post Share on other sites
champagne Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Good looking masculine visage, strong character, keeps his boyish charm and is funny. And doesnt take himself too seriously. On top of it he has strong potential, which everyone sees but him. No false modesty. Girls here see it and encourage him. I prefer to give him mental slaps (he could get used to be encouraged/complimented - its addictive- and he wouldnt evolve). If I wasnt homophobic I would have send him a kiss. His whole attitude of "hey girls, put out, don't make decisions for yourself about sex, because "quality men" like me (in the very first post of the thread) will bail if you don't put out right away" pretty much rules him out as a high-caliber in my book. It's like it's this ultimate advice to women, put out at the guy's pace, not yours, if you want to keep a guy. The arrogance further establishes himself as non-high caliber. I'm just being honest here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tanbark813 Posted May 31, 2007 Author Share Posted May 31, 2007 His whole attitude of "hey girls, put out, don't make decisions for yourself about sex, because "quality men" like me (in the very first post of the thread) will bail if you don't put out right away" pretty much rules him out as a high-caliber in my book. It's like it's this ultimate advice to women, put out at the guy's pace, not yours, if you want to keep a guy. The arrogance further establishes himself as non-high caliber. I'm just being honest here. Baby, it's okay if you're jealous. And for the nth time I didn't bail, she did. "Hooked on phonics worked for me!" Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 His whole attitude of "hey girls, put out, don't make decisions for yourself about sex, because "quality men" like me (in the very first post of the thread) will bail if you don't put out right away" pretty much rules him out as a high-caliber in my book. It's like it's this ultimate advice to women, put out at the guy's pace, not yours, if you want to keep a guy. The arrogance further establishes himself as non-high caliber. I'm just being honest here. whoa, champagne, are we reading the same thread? that's not what he's been saying at all. he didn't bail because she didn't put out. she was demanding in bed and wanted things all her own way, all the time; eventually he got tired of it and called her on it and then she bailed. that's arrogant, IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
SouthernT Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 whoa, champagne, are we reading the same thread? that's not what he's been saying at all. he didn't bail because she didn't put out. she was demanding in bed and wanted things all her own way, all the time; eventually he got tired of it and called her on it and then she bailed. that's arrogant, IMO. I think this whole situation would have turned out differently if she wouldnt have did ANYTHING physical at all. (well, maybe kissing) Everything else she did was simply a tease. At Tan's age, he is a grown virile man. He's too old to "grind" and "tip tease" with a girl. He's not in highschool. He's pushing harder because of how far they've gone already. Which I do not agree with, BUT from a man's stand point I definitly understand. So would this have turned out differently if the two of you wouldnt have done anything other than kissing Tan? Would you have been a little more willing to continue waiting? Link to post Share on other sites
annabelle75 Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 His whole attitude of "hey girls, put out, don't make decisions for yourself about sex, because "quality men" like me (in the very first post of the thread) will bail if you don't put out right away" pretty much rules him out as a high-caliber in my book. It's like it's this ultimate advice to women, put out at the guy's pace, not yours, if you want to keep a guy. The arrogance further establishes himself as non-high caliber. I'm just being honest here. no it isn't learn to read Link to post Share on other sites
Author tanbark813 Posted May 31, 2007 Author Share Posted May 31, 2007 So would this have turned out differently if the two of you wouldnt have done anything other than kissing Tan? Most likely. I mentioned in an earlier post in this thread that the lack of intercourse hindered the oral sex in two ways: 1. During oral it left me with the nagging thought in the back of my mind if things would progress further. 2. Going down on her and getting all worked up but then not having sex is a bit of a tease. If she hadn't called things off I was planning on telling her no more oral until she's ready for intercourse. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 I think this whole situation would have turned out differently if she wouldnt have did ANYTHING physical at all. (well, maybe kissing) Everything else she did was simply a tease. At Tan's age, he is a grown virile man. He's too old to "grind" and "tip tease" with a girl. He's not in highschool. He's pushing harder because of how far they've gone already. Which I do not agree with, BUT from a man's stand point I definitly understand. So would this have turned out differently if the two of you wouldnt have done anything other than kissing Tan? Would you have been a little more willing to continue waiting? well, even this i'm not sure about...the fact that they've already done all this other physical stuff and that intercourse is so often fraught with other meaning does muddy the waters, certainly. but it sounds like the underlying issue is really that there wasn't any room for his wants - she wanted to control the pace and style of lovemaking exclusively, she wanted to make bargains on her terms only, she wanted what she wanted and that's that - and that seems utterly selfish. Link to post Share on other sites
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