Is there still a chance or none whatsoever?

[Cherbear]

My ex bf broke up with me pretty adamantly last x'mas. He thought i'd crawl back to him. I did it before. It was my first relationship. I cherish it. I was waiting quietly and patiently for the apology he owes me but i didnt go back to him.

 

He came back 2 months later. Saying that he thinks about me everyday, he can't live well without me, tried to forget but can't. This is kinda true. I was told by our mutual friend who i trust that he went to a club and some girl hit on him but he refused.

 

Things were going well. We started talking several times a day, just like when we were dating. He bought tickets to visit me(we are long distance). But a week before his flight, i had a fight with him. I was so hurt by him and i still hadnt forgiven him. He had to try a lot harder.

 

after that he thought i broke up with him. He cancelled his tickets and never talked to me again. I apologized 3 days later b/c i felt bad about his tickets(He never got the money back.) I apologized for 2 more times after that b/c i really felt bad and i didnt really wanna break up with him. he never responded. It's been 2 months and he's asked out like 10 girls. It hurts to see him trying so hard to move on. He didnt throw this in my face though. Again, i got this from mutual friends. And I just found he deleted me from aim but didnt block me.

 

I dont know. I feel like all the sweet words he said 3 months ago when he came back were all lies since he can give up so easily. If he really cant live well without me, why is he ignoring the hell out of me and not care about my apologies and feelings at all? Why is he ignoring my attempts to patch up?

 

Do u think there's still a chance that he'll be back? What should i know?

[McFadden]

Based on the pattern that has already happened it sounds like there is a chance he might randomly show up again in a few months. But what would prevent you and him from having another falling out? If you ever decide to get back together you need to sort out whatever the underlying problems are. Is it the distance and difficulty of seeing each other? If that is the problem the relationship will probably never work unless one of you moves.

[Cherbear]

the long distance thing isn't the main problem but it certainly didnt help.

 

Basically he is not a - how should i put it - very capable bf. He felt like he cant handle me in his life b/c i was high maintenance. Like in our fight which led to our breakup, I was saying he should do this and that and he failed to do. He felt like he failed me. But i wasnt being high maintenance. I was just still mad. I felt like he treated me so badly in the past, if this is gonna work out, he should do a lot more to make it up to me. But i think he's so determined that i am high maintenance, he wouldnt give me a chance to explain. I mean, i did explain that in the emails i sent him apologizing, but no replies.

 

I was heartbroken b/c it was not easy for him to come back. So i "fled" to another country for the summer. I promised my friends i would send postcards to them. Should i send him one as well? I dont know. Maybe just a nice gesture b/c i know he isnt exactly in a glorious position here. He just graduated college, without a job. And he's taking 4 more online credits to officially have a degree in august. what should i say on the card? "I'm sorry about everything. Hope you are having a great summer"? How's this? or should i apologize, again? I dont want him to think i'm desperate or anything. And in fact, i'm not. I still like him. But i have someone (who was his brother in their frat) who crazily likes me. But still, I dont want us to end on such bad terms. I dont want him to hate me and i dont wanna hate him. what should i do?

[Yernasia Quorelios]

Your ex clearly loves you a great deal and wants to be with you. However there is an aspect of your behaviour that he is having difficulty dealing with (perhaps the hi maintenance you mention).

 

If he does come back (and you must let him come to you, do not contact him) then the first words that should come out of your mouth should be "we need counselling to figure out what it is about my behaviour that you find so difficult to deal with".

 

Good luck.