Even the nice girls?

[Trialbyfire]

If you continue to woo a woman she will say you are smothering her. I think that most women are impossible to make happy.

I recommend you take the pillow off her face so she can get some air.

[champagne]

as far as "wooing" goes, I think it's something that both people do because they want to do it (say it with me now, in a happy, healthy relationship.) It's not even conscious, it's just a natural thing to want to make your partner happy, whether it's preparing a romantic bubble bath for two, or waxing their car(and yes, I have waxed a guy's car for him before.)

[champagne]

You asked why some posters responded so 'aggressively.' Well, I gave the honest answer, from my gut, that the happy, healthiest relationships I have had didn't involve the withdrawing mindgame behaviors you had described. Well, then you IMMEDIATELY dismissed what I said by saying it had no bearing on the argument, which it absolutely did. You can't pose a question and then not accept the answers you get.

Also, you kept repeating 'be honest with yourself and you will see it my way' INSISTING that you were correct. That's aggressivee and counterproductive. The whole point of your post was "men, with all women you have to back off sometimes and make her chase you" instead of asking if it were true, because it's clear this is your stance. Rejecting answers you get and trying to force people to see it your way (and then not backing up your stance whatsoever) does not making sense, so don't pose your "truth" as a question, pose it as a statement.

[DanielMadr]

I think the whole problem is not "to be a challenge or not to be".

 

I think it is simply bad timing when things go wrong. Sometimes guy is all over her, romantic, wooing her when there is no need to go that strong. He is out of ammo when problems start.

You should dose the affection carefully, because she may get alergic reaction or will be immune to it pretty soon. Like TANTRA sex or art of giving compliments - sincere ones and not too frequent. And most important thing, you should pay attention to your SO. When you have to be aloof to provoke some reaction it is pretty late then.

 

Lack of challenge is sometimes only that the one is lazy.

 

Dont get lazy, take her out at least two times a week and dont forget about bedroom(kitchen table, airplane toilets, park bench....)

[DanielMadr]

...and the most important thing. Dont do something so stupid, that she loose respect for you. When she reads some BS in cosmopolitan and tries some stunt, stay your ground. You are supposed to be her strong standby, so act like one. She will make it up for you....if you picked her well.

[Krytellan]

You asked why some posters responded so 'aggressively.' Well, I gave the honest answer, from my gut, that the happy, healthiest relationships I have had didn't involve the withdrawing mindgame behaviors you had described. Well, then you IMMEDIATELY dismissed what I said by saying it had no bearing on the argument, which it absolutely did. You can't pose a question and then not accept the answers you get.

Also, you kept repeating 'be honest with yourself and you will see it my way' INSISTING that you were correct. That's aggressivee and counterproductive. The whole point of your post was "men, with all women you have to back off sometimes and make her chase you" instead of asking if it were true, because it's clear this is your stance. Rejecting answers you get and trying to force people to see it your way (and then not backing up your stance whatsoever) does not making sense, so don't pose your "truth" as a question, pose it as a statement.

 

You aggression is really getting tiresome. There's really no more need for your input.

[hardcase]

I recommend you take the pillow off her face so she can get some air.

 

Well he has a point....if you adore your wife/gf and show her all the attention women think they should get....then we are told that men are smothering them...that men are then clingy and needy.

 

Then if you don't show this attention...the man is neglecting them and a few on here blame that for the cheating and use that to justify it.

 

Damned if we do...damned if we don't.

[Touche]

Well he has a point....if you adore your wife/gf and show her all the attention women think they should get....then we are told that men are smothering them...that men are then clingy and needy.

 

Then if you don't show this attention...the man is neglecting them and a few on here blame that for the cheating and use that to justify it.

 

Damned if we do...damned if we don't.

 

Ever heard of a balance between the two? Now, there's a concept!

 

Anyway, it's the girls who are still stuck on "bad boys" who say the attention is "smothering." Women, on the other hand, appreciate such gestures.

[hardcase]

Ever heard of a balance between the two? Now, there's a concept!

 

Sure I am aware of that...seems, however, most women don't make the distinction.

 

Anyway, it's the girls who are still stuck on "bad boys" who say the attention is "smothering." Women, on the other hand, appreciate such gestures.

 

Then I guess my wife is still a girl.

[alphamale]

it is extremly important for the man to keep and retain the upper hand when in any romantic relationship with a woman. otherwise he's screwed.

[Woggle]

Well he has a point....if you adore your wife/gf and show her all the attention women think they should get....then we are told that men are smothering them...that men are then clingy and needy.

 

Then if you don't show this attention...the man is neglecting them and a few on here blame that for the cheating and use that to justify it.

 

Damned if we do...damned if we don't.

 

Exactly. That is why I just decide to be who I am and a woman can take it or leave it, This mentality got me a woman that accepts me for who I am and I don't feel like I have to walk on eggshells in my marriage. Many men try to change who they are and the marriage implodes when these men can no longer walk the tightrope.

[Touche]

Sure I am aware of that...seems, however, most women don't make the distinction.

 

 

 

Then I guess my wife is still a girl.

 

Maybe so. I don't know your history.

 

I just know that I'm seeing that lots of girls, usually in their 20's, are not satisfied with a "nice guy." I was the same way at that age. I was immature and not ready for a guy who was not into playing games and who didn't keep me guessing all the time.

 

By the time we reach our 30's, most of us don't want that anymore. We're done with all the drama. We can appreciate a man who doesn't play games, who lets us know exactly where they stand and who shows their appreciation for us.

 

Those types of women are not that difficult to find.

 

And the girls are really easy to spot. Maybe I'll start a thread on the "signs" to watch for telling you if you've met a girl or a woman.

[Woggle]

Maybe so. I don't know your history.

 

I just know that I'm seeing that lots of girls, usually in their 20's, are not satisfied with a "nice guy." I was the same way at that age. I was immature and not ready for a guy who was not into playing games and who didn't keep me guessing all the time.

 

By the time we reach our 30's, most of us don't want that anymore. We're done with all the drama. We can appreciate a man who doesn't play games, who lets us know exactly where they stand and who shows their appreciation for us.

 

Those types of women are not that difficult to find.

 

And the girls are really easy to spot. Maybe I'll start a thread on the "signs" to watch for telling you if you've met a girl or a woman.

 

That is if these women in their 30s haven't become bitter against men after having bad boys playing them during their 20s. Women in their 20s get played by bad boys then take their anger towards men out on the good guys during their 30s.

[InsanityImpaired]

That is if these women in their 30s haven't become bitter against men after having bad boys playing them during their 20s. Women in their 20s get played by bad boys then take their anger towards men out on the good guys during their 30s.

And naturally the pattern with the genders switched is perfectly justified.

[alphamale]

Women in their 20s get played by bad boys then take their anger towards men out on the good guys during their 30s.

yea...those same good guys who are paying the mortgage and for her kids

[Touche]

That is if these women in their 30s haven't become bitter against men after having bad boys playing them during their 20s. Women in their 20s get played by bad boys then take their anger towards men out on the good guys during their 30s.

 

Of course that happens. Then we're talking about bitter women of bad character. There are plenty of those kinds of people...of BOTH sexes.

[Woggle]

yea...those same good guys who are paying the mortgage and for her kids

 

Then they cheat on the good guy, walk out on him, cut him off from his kids, screw him out of everything he owns and blame him for everything.

[serial muse]

That is if these women in their 30s haven't become bitter against men after having bad boys playing them during their 20s. Women in their 20s get played by bad boys then take their anger towards men out on the good guys during their 30s.

 

and vice versa, of course...aaaand round and round we go, until someone comes up with the courage to let go of their insecurities and bitterness.

[Touche]

Then they cheat on the good guy, walk out on him, cut him off from his kids, screw him out of everything he owns and blame him for everything.

 

The blame SHOULD be on the guy in that case....for being too stupid and thinking with his di*k instead of with his brain. I mean hello? There ARE signs to watch for so you don't get stuck with a woman like this. But if a man chooses to ignore them, then he has only himself to blame.

 

Look at some of the threads on here for example...women who are insistent on a certain dollar amount for an engament ring for one (BIG red flag guys!) and those women who always start fights and give you the silent treatment, and those who get mad at you at a drop of a hat..I could go on and on.

 

Why do men marry women like this and then complain when these women screw them over later? Because they thing with their peckers and not with their brains that's why. So they only have themselves to blame.

 

Do y'all get it now?

[Woggle]

The blame SHOULD be on the guy in that case....for being too stupid and thinking with his di*k instead of with his brain. I mean hello? There ARE signs to watch for so you don't get stuck with a woman like this. But if a man chooses to ignore them, then he has only himself to blame.

 

Look at some of the threads on here for example...women who are insistent on a certain dollar amount for an engament ring for one (BIG red flag guys!) and those women who always start fights and give you the silent treatment, and those who get mad at you at a drop of a hat..I could go on and on.

 

Why do men marry women like this and then complain when these women screw them over later? Because they thing with their peckers and not with their brains that's why. So they only have themselves to blame.

 

Do y'all get it now?

 

 

At the same time women that date bad boys only have themselves to blame. Many women are good actresses and women tend to change their personality at the drop of a dime.

[serial muse]

At the same time women that date bad boys only have themselves to blame. Many women are good actresses and women tend to change their personality at the drop of a dime.

 

oh fer christ's sake.

 

anyway, returning to the original topic...where do nice girls fit into all this? do they change their personalities at the drop of a dime? just wondering.

[Woggle]

oh fer christ's sake.

 

anyway, returning to the original topic...where do nice girls fit into all this? do they change their personalities at the drop of a dime? just wondering.

 

A woman can be a nice girl one day and a castrating witch the next.

[Touche]

At the same time women that date bad boys only have themselves to blame. Many women are good actresses and women tend to change their personality at the drop of a dime.

 

Of course women only have themselves to blame if they date scum. That goes without saying. But you were only talking about men being stuck with bad women, so that's what I was addressing.

 

No. Women (AND men) for that matter are never THAT good at hiding their personalities. They don't change their personalities at the drop of a dime as you say. The signs are ALWAYS there, but if a man is thinking with his dick, he ain't gonna see those signs. And a dumb woman is not going to see the signs when she's dating a prick.

 

No one is THAT good at hiding their true personalities. But if you're not that smart, then you may think that way. The signs are there. You just have to be smart enough (and not so horny) and look for them.

 

Unless you're dating Sybill, no one's true personality stays hidden for long. No one's.

 

I mean, think about your own ex, Wog. If you were honest with yourself, you'd acknowledge that all the signs were there before you married her. Weren't they?

 

So you have only yourself to blame for marrying her.

[Touche]

A woman can be a nice girl one day and a castrating witch the next.

 

Nope, sorry. Wrong again. She was never nice to begin with. If you didn't see that then you were thinking with your dick.

[serial muse]

A woman can be a nice girl one day and a castrating witch the next.

 

well there you have it then. the answer to the original post on this thread.

 

it has nothing to do, of course, with people being people and humanity being humanity. men would never be changeable in such a way, for example, would never up and do something that is utterly confusing or out of character or hurtful or crappy or shocking. just women. jesus h. christ, i am so tired of this utter, absolute, misogynistic nonsense.

 

the problem, as i see it, is that science education is sadly lacking in our schools. clearly there is a dearth of understanding of science, logic and reason, or these ridiculous, illogical ideas wouldn't keep rearing their ugly heads because people would have the wherewithal to actually think them through and see their fundamental flaws. sadness.

 

what do they teach them in these schools?