Adam Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Hi my names Adam im 23 i was dating this girl that is now 20 for 4 years. In August of last year we had a fight and she broke up with me. Now i tryed EVERYTHING in the world to get her back. Flowers, Notes, e-mails, etc. We'll nothing worked and i saw through her myspace that she started dating some guys no one she ever dated though lasted longer than a month. I dated nobody cause i figured that she would come back. We'll 7 months later im very lonely and she's on her 5th guy well i give up, im starting to feel better i miss her a little, then i meet someone at my work and me and her hit it off, i rarely think of my ex but every once in awile, well now i've been dating her for almost 3 months. We'll i wake up yesterday to a text message that read " I'm ready to be friends now, if this is a bad time in your life disregard this text" IM LIKE NO WAY! This is a girl that wouldn't give me the time of day, return a call, ANSWER A CALL by me, write me back an e-mail, she treated me like scum after 4 years. NOW SHE WRITES THAT?? Is it because i gave up trying to get her? Did no contact work? Or is she just finding out that no one will treat her as good as me. Now heres the thing i love my ex, and my new girlfriend rocks, i just dont know what to do? I want to see my ex, but i dont know if shes just playing mind games again? Like she just wants to mess up my new relationship after all this time or if she wants me back. Should i go be her friend or just leave her alone? Take her out once and feel out the situation or just NC again and focus on my new GF? ANY ADVICE WOULD BE GREAT!! Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Honestly, I wouldn't reply and move on without her. It sounds like she is between options right now, and is just looking for someone to be with until she finds a new boyfriend. Is what you have now really worth throwing away on someone who treated you so poorly, and would no doubt treat you poorly again? They are called the 'ex' for a reason. Best to keep that in mind, particularly when you have a good thing going with your current girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
ryanisfootdrums Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 I say disregard the text and don't mess up your relationship with your new girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Ukwizard Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 What should you do? I think you need a check in reality. Your ex left you, and dated otherus. She`s put you second best by dating others, and thinking the grass was greener on the other side. You have a new girlfriend with NO HISTORY of leaving you. Remember your ex left you for a REASON. You have a future with your new girlfriend. Don`t go to old haunts. Why? Piece of advice. If they left you before, there`s no reason why they wouldnt do it again. "Hurt me one, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me!" Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 You're a fool if you leave your new girl for your ex. You said it yourself. After four years she treated you like scum. Stick with the one who you're with now and not the one who broke your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
champagne Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 I'm taking an alternate view here and saying to let your new girlfriend go. You have stated straight out that you still love your old girlfriend, so it is not fair to your new girlfriend to continue with her. Personally I would NOT want to be involved with a guy who still loved his exgirlfriend. Even if it doesn't work out the 2nd time with your old girlfriend, your heart isn't truly with the new girlfriend, it's with your old girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Adam Posted June 1, 2007 Author Share Posted June 1, 2007 Thanks for all the great advice. I just am so confused, i mean i know that she went around with other guys, shes only 20 and still young, i want to be in a steady relationship. Shes left me before in the past even before this, i just figured she maybe grew up a bit, and i left her alone and now she wants to be friends? Why does she want to be friends? She has plenty, she never wanted to be friends before when i was alone or wanted or pleaded with her to be friends, do you think its just another mind game to ruin my new relationship OR she wants me back. AND whats the typical thing girls do if you dont respond, i haven't made any advances to go over there, call her, e-mail her, shes still blocked on my AIM so what do you think she will do? Link to post Share on other sites
Cherbear Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 listen to her message. does it sound like someone who really wants to be friends with you? she sounds so nonchalant. believe me, if she really wants you, she'll move a mountain if she has to. Dont reply, for at least a week. i think she'll send you more messages/emails/calls if you dont reply for a while. See where it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
4whatItsWorth Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Let your girlfriend go. You are obviously not ready to be with someone seeing as you are still obsessed and love your ex. Your posts only reflects desire for us to tell you that she wants you back... Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Let your girlfriend go. You are obviously not ready to be with someone seeing as you are still obsessed and love your ex. Your posts only reflects desire for us to tell you that she wants you back... I've gotta agree with 4WIW. Your second post was practically dripping with desperation for us to tell you she wants you back. The fact that you're so concerned about your ex's intentions and how she'll react show's you're not over her. Do you current gf a favor and let her find someone who's not still in love with someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Thanks for all the great advice. I just am so confused, i mean i know that she went around with other guys, shes only 20 and still young, i want to be in a steady relationship. Shes left me before in the past even before this, i just figured she maybe grew up a bit, and i left her alone and now she wants to be friends? Why does she want to be friends? She has plenty, she never wanted to be friends before when i was alone or wanted or pleaded with her to be friends, do you think its just another mind game to ruin my new relationship OR she wants me back. AND whats the typical thing girls do if you dont respond, i haven't made any advances to go over there, call her, e-mail her, shes still blocked on my AIM so what do you think she will do? Ex's usually want to remain friends after a breakup for selfish reasons. To relieve guilt, mainly, for dumping you. To keep you close by, as a second option. They genuinely like you as a person, but not as a lover. Let me ask you, my friend. What would you gain from a friendship with your ex? What can she give you as a friend that none of your other friends can give you? My guess here is that it's nothing. If you still love her, you can not be friends with her. On a side note, Crazy_grl, love the avatar. Who knew you were into bikes? Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 On a side note, Crazy_grl, love the avatar. Who knew you were into bikes? Thanks. I have a fondness for large, shiny, metal objects. Now if only I knew how to ride. Some day... And to keep this post on topic: Adam, ignore the ex... unless you really just want to be buds and have no feelings for her. But it doesn't seem like that's the case. Link to post Share on other sites
McFadden Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 Maybe NC worked? But don't get your hopes up too much, she just said 'friends.' So if you are going to reply to her no reason to drop your current gf first. If I were you I'd keep both options open until you know what is being offered and/or what you want. Yeah that is crappy but other people do crappy things, you have to look out for number 1. Link to post Share on other sites
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