depressed1019 Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 ok so let me say this i am not bashing my H in anyway, I still love him very much. ok well it all started that me and my H got married he had already join the military and so we moved to CO, i would say after a year of being in CO that i got pregnant with our first child when i was 7 mths preggo he decided to take a "trip" with his army buddies to "illonois" but instead he dropped the guys over there and went to MI to see an OW and stayed there for like 4 days the only reason i found out was that we got our cell bill and there was a # that i did not know like 62 times and one call was 99 mins long so i saw where the called was made and wanted to see where exactly the city was that he called when i went in to our road atlas there was the same number in the corner and the directions to her house so i called and called finally H came home and i asked him about it and called the girl again she at first said that she didn't know him but then called back and said that she felt bad and told me the truth theni found out that he brought home a STD while i was preggo with his daughter anyway got that fixed we were fine i let it go the we were in the process of moving to GA and he cheated on me again I was in new jersey staying with his parents until he got there i didn't find out about this time until we got to GA let that one go he went to kuwait before he went he sent me divorce papers so i went out to have a good time and ended up cheating on him afterwards i felt bad ripped up the papers told him i did not want the divorce and he agreed so when he got back from kuwait we ended up getting preg. again everything was fine then he was getting out of the army i went back to jersey and waited for him he cheated on me again let it go then we had our own place for a year ended up moving in with my parents thay had my brothers babies mom who my brother is no longer with, move in. my H strted to spend a lot of time with her let me say i thought she was my friend "guess not" anyway H and i got into arguements alot and he finally left this was three mths ago he has been staying with the OW and goes back and forth about wanting to be with me and not wanting to be with me now i have a new phone number and he wants it but i told him that if the children want to talk to him i will call him. he says he is willing to go to family mediation with me not the divorce court just wanted see if any one has been through the same thing and if it turned out to be back with the H or W and if it was a happy ending Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted May 31, 2007 Share Posted May 31, 2007 Great job of not bashing you Husband! Seriously, sounds pretty hopeless to me. Go see that lawyer and see if that shakes him up a little. Link to post Share on other sites
Author depressed1019 Posted June 1, 2007 Author Share Posted June 1, 2007 Great job of not bashing you Husband! Seriously, sounds pretty hopeless to me. Go see that lawyer and see if that shakes him up a little. well we have decided to go to family mediation i still love him no matter what Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Depressed, I understand your situation well. I loved my now ex (25 year marriage) "no matter what" and worked my arse off to have a good marriage and successfully raise two kids to adulthood. I found out that "no matter what" turned to dismay, and disgust when I discovered her long term affair with her high school sweetheart. Once I had it pounded into my skull that she was being willingly penetrated by another man with great frequency, I lost all love and hope. She was an accomplished lier and cheat. "No matter what" became, "why did I waste my life on her" very rapidly. Good luck with your marriage. I hope counciling helps you two sort things out. But... please open your eyes, and have a "plan B" in place if he remains true to form. It will make your life much easier in the short and long runs. Having some personal power is the beginning of being whole again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author depressed1019 Posted June 7, 2007 Author Share Posted June 7, 2007 i just wanted to say thank you and i hope he will come to his senses and relize what he is losing he says he is getting an apartment and he is trying to make things better but until i see this what more can i do you know i have the support of HIS whole family and he has really nothing i know his family still loves him but they care about me and the kids too you knowDepressed, I understand your situation well. I loved my now ex (25 year marriage) "no matter what" and worked my arse off to have a good marriage and successfully raise two kids to adulthood. I found out that "no matter what" turned to dismay, and disgust when I discovered her long term affair with her high school sweetheart. Once I had it pounded into my skull that she was being willingly penetrated by another man with great frequency, I lost all love and hope. She was an accomplished lier and cheat. "No matter what" became, "why did I waste my life on her" very rapidly. Good luck with your marriage. I hope counciling helps you two sort things out. But... please open your eyes, and have a "plan B" in place if he remains true to form. It will make your life much easier in the short and long runs. Having some personal power is the beginning of being whole again. Link to post Share on other sites
dbtmarley Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 This sounds quite distressing. I bet this is not what you dreamed about. Personally, I feel he is not ready to be a man. He is getting you pregnant and not fulfilling his responsibility. I mean, where does he find the time to be a father while doing all this. I think you need to get over this guy... difficult I know, but with time it can be done. I would head down to the local child support office and start the payment process... It is my bet this is what he is trying to avoid anyways by stringin gyou along. Time to stop wasting your time... Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted June 7, 2007 Share Posted June 7, 2007 Unfortunatley, love is not always enough. In fact, it's just about never enough. It has to be worked for, and this guy isn't working hard enough for you. Therefore, your love is not enough, and neither is his. He's been treating you like total sh*t. It is highly unlikely that his behavior will change. So if you choose to stay where you are, you are also choosing to continue living this way. That is, unless you realize you deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
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