How to start a positive relationship (platonic) at work?

[redfathom]

I have been at my current job for about five and a half months.

 

So far I am not very happy. I am bored with lack of work and lack of interesting work but the benefits are great and I would never leave a job I had been at for less then a year.

 

I am feeling very unconfident here and it is making me second guess myself and well, that just makes me look like an idiot. My last job was very demanding, I worked with the VP of Operations, I was the assistant to the President, I was the office manager, I had a staff of about five and worked with clients n solving issues and streamlining processes. Now I fax, scan, book travel, setup appointments and order supplies. I am an office manager here but the work is far less demanding and I feel like because I am not confident enough it is holding me back from getting more work.

 

So now, why am I not confident...well, I feel like no one at work likes me. I know that you should not make FREINDS at work and that is not what I want. I just want to build positive relationships with people. I mean if I do decide to stay I need to have some relationships and trust with my co-workers if I am to advance with this company.

 

It is not that my co-workers are mean per se, just not friendly. Well, some are mean. There are few girls in the office and I prefer not to make friends with guys because I am married and sometimes that complicates things. The women I replaced still works here and I have tried building a relationship with her but it always seeming lacking. At first we got along and she really wanted a friend (which is what she said). She seems to get along well with our receptionist (my assistant, she is very outgoing) and since then does not seem to want to talk with me. Which is fine, I just am curious if I did something to offend her. I hate having things like that between people, so I guess I will just ask her if I did.

 

So I guess I am venting, but if you have any suggestions on how I could get my co-workers to open up just a bit I would apprecaite it.

[SOS_Please]

Well, honestly, I believe confidence is key. When I first started working as a receptionist, I didn't know anyone, and most of the people there treat new people like dirt, because people just seem to come and go. I mean, the first three months I worked here, this one particular woman would come up to me and say, "Well, let's see if you're here tomorrow." I mean, I am friends with lots of the guys I work with, but women can be down-right cruel. One other woman I worked with just recently told me, after a year of working here, that when she first met me, she thought I was a hoe, because I was friends with the guys. We since have become fairly close.

 

It just takes not giving a damn, which honestly comes with being confident. Even if you have to fake it. I mean, the first week I was there, people were so cruel that I use to come home and cry. However, I made sure when I was at work to put on a smile, and be as friendly and confident as possible. People just gravitate to that. I am not one bit outgoing any other time, but when I am at work, I do my best to be the life of the place, and most everyone there loves me for it, or at least, to my face they do. HAHA, who knows what they say behind my back...offices are interesting places to work in, as I'm sure you know!

 

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck!

[Trialbyfire]

If you're a real go-getter, it can make people nervous, especially your predecessor. Remember, she will be feeling a little insecure about what you find about her previous job. If you have the opportunity and honestly feel this is the case, let her know how much you appreciate the good condition she left her previous job and how easy it was for you to pick up from there.